


The only thing worth fighting for

by where_shadow_plays



Series: Cold Hearts [6]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Married Negan (Walking Dead), Power Couple, Relationship(s), Romance, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-11-08 13:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 79,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11082372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where_shadow_plays/pseuds/where_shadow_plays
Summary: Beware of the king but fear the queen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
> 
> ― Friedrich Nietzsche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my new story of Cold Hearts series and it will probably be the last one untile I wrap up with the end of this season and decide which way to go next. Hope you like it, enjoy and comment. Love you all.

Alice turned around in the bed not opening her eyes, wanting to stretch before getting up and getting ready for the day, when her hand hit someone's face.

"What the…" she opened her eyes just to see she was in Negan's room, still confused she propped herself on her elbows and looked at the other side of the bed, just to see Negan there, running his hand over his face.

"Damn it, doll, are you trying to knock me out," she smiled, remember why she was there and all the events from yesterday.

She turned to his side, looming over him, "can you blame a girl for wanting you stay with her in bed all day?"

"Well, fuck no doll, but what good am I to you unconscious?"

She wickedly smiled at that, wiggling her eyebrows, "you know what, doll, I don't even want to fucking know."

"Spoilsport," she quickly kissed him, before standing up and going in the direction of the bathroom, when she was pulled back and thrown on the bed.

"And where do you think you are going?" Negan purred into her neck.

"To shower," she pushed him away, getting up again.

"Can I join you?" he was up in second, standing behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer, placing a long kiss on her shoulders.

"Do you think you still need to ask for permission?" Alice turned around, smiling.

"Well, fuck me doll, I'm a gentleman," he smirked, before scooping her up and carrying her in the direction of the bathroom.

When they were out, breakfast was already waiting for them on the coffee table, a large plate with vegetables and scrambled eggs, Alice took her seat on the large sofa with Negan at her side.

They were both starving, not having a proper meal all day yesterday so they eat in silence, practically choking on their food, when they finished Alice poured them both a cup of coffee, leaning into Negan's embrace and looking as the sun that was slowly coming up and with it, a sound of people roaming around the courtyard.

"Simon is leaving for Hilltop later this morning," Negan spoke.

Alice straighten up a little, turning around and burying her head in into the crock of his neck, "Oh, really?"

"Yeah," Negan sounded distant as he ran the tips of his fingers through her hair, "I want you to go with him."

Alice now completely straighten up, looking at him with a smile etched on her face, "really?"

"Fuck, yeah, doll," he smiled, "why are you so fucking surprised? I told you a few days ago that I want you to see other communities we are working with."

"I know, I just… I was…" her eyes fell, she was playing with a helm of his shirt, trying to find right words to express herself.

"I told you last night to trust me, didn't I doll?" he took her chin into his hand, lifting it up slowly and kissing her.

ooo

"So, what do I need to know about this community?" Alice asked a few minutes later, looking at the place on the map where Hilltop was located.

"Not much, I know their leader is a huge pain in the ass so try not to kill him and that they deliver supplies on time."

"Huh, guess I'll talk to Simon then."

"I don't think he will be much of a help doll, this is actually his first visit there as well."

"How so?"

"The group that was dealing with them was the same group Rick ,the prick, and his people butchered."

"Oh," Alice narrowed her eyes, "so the people your people killed few days before that, were actually from Hilltop?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I saw it happen," Alice blurted out, concentrated on the map.

"What?"

Alice looked at him, not sure why does he sound so surprised, "well, yeah, you know I did shadow you all for quite some time."

"And you were there?"

"Yap," she reached for her coffee, "had a front row seats no less, I remember your people took one of them as a hostage and let three of them go, don't know what it was about. I didn't come back there for a few days. When I did come back was when I saw strange trucks approaching the outpost and I got curious, I thought I would finally see famous Negan but it wasn't you, it was Rick and his people.

"So you never got close to Hilltop?"

"Nop, those people looked too boring to care. The only comminute beside Alexandria I saw before coming here was Kingdom?"

"And what were you doing there?"

"Nothing, I spent few days in one of the houses outside of the walls."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you stay there."

"Well, fuck it man, when you are on your own you take any chance you get to spend few days out of the cold, the house I stayed in was relatively nice, it had a barbecue, so I used it to cook what I could kill in the woods nearby and because community didn't let walkers close to their walls the place was really clean."

"What did you hunt?" Negan ask while scooping her up and positioing her to sit on his lap.

"Animals, people, it depended on the day," she was looking at his hair, running her fingers through it and measuring how long it was.

"People? Really?"

"Yeah. I should give you a haircut."

"You ate people?"

Alice looked at him, not believing what he just asked her, "What? Noooo, I killed them and took their food. Really man?"

"My bad, doll, it's just... people are capable of many things to survive."

"I know, I saw the best and the worst examples."

"So how many did you kill?"

"A lot."

Negan looked at her, she was lost in her thoughts again, still playing with his hair, "what was it like, I mean after your first kill?"

Alice looked at him, "you mean my first person, not the walker?"

"Yes."

She concentrated again on his hair, "hmmm, I don't know," she shrug her shoulders, "it was thrilling, the adrenaline, feeling of power, victory, there is something about holding one's life in your hand and taking it, especially if you know they deserved it. "

"Did they all deserve it?"

"Yes," Alice nodded.

"And how do you know?"

"Because I killed murderers mostly, I will never forget my first kill, I found them in the woods, they were raping a little girl, not more that seventeen, it was a gruesome thing to look at. They didn't even see me coming and I wasn't even careful, I was a rookie at the time, but they were too busy enjoying themselves while torturing that poor little thing, an army could have walked on them and they wouldn't know it. The satisfaction of seeing them fall one by one, while the rest fled in fear, it's priceless man. The last man, I didn't kill instantly, that was one I caught going at her when I came, I chopped off his thing and left him to bleed to death,I always wanted to do it to a rapist, just to see them lose their weapon of choice," Alice shook her head like she was fighting away the memories.

"And the girl?"

"What girl?"

"The one they were...you know? What happened to her?"

Alice's faces darken then, "I killed her," she looked down, "when I came to her, she was barely breathing, the things they did to her… I just wish I made them suffer more. I…I just had to do it, you know man? I was alone, no way I could have helped her, I think not even Carson would be able to save her, I put my old gun on her template and used my last bullet. I looted them of all they had and buried her. Not a mile later, I saw a little boy and an older man, they were freshly turned, crawling on the ground because their legs were smashed, I run my machete through their heads, and then I looked through their possessions I found man's wallet with a picture of him, his wife, that little boy and a girl I killed not long before in it. I dragged their bodies to the place I buried her and did the same thing for them."

"I'm sorry doll.", Negan moved her hair and kissed her temple.

"For what, you didn't do any of that shit? Don't apologize for things you can't control, I never did. And on that day I found my purpose, see if I wanted more families like that to survive, to get a chance my family never did, I need to kill more people like those fuckers in the woods. And that was what I was doing the first time I run into Simon."

They were silent for a while after that, with Alice getting ready to leave and find Simon and Negan going through the guard list and planning their shifts.

"How many did you kill?" Alice disrupted him, practically falling into the sofa.

Negan laughed "God, doll, I don't know, since I started leading this place I stopped counting, it helps me sleep at night."

"And before?"

"Before," Negan rubbed his forehead, before throwing his head back and looking up at the ceiling, "not much to be honest, at least not the living, not like you, not before this. But I saw many die," he turned his head and looked at Alice, who was sitting there waiting for him to finish his story.

"First two walkers I killed in the hospital, I told you about that, the kid that helped me, I watched him die not long after, while we were at the parking lot, that was my first meeting with death. After that I stumbled around, meeting all kinds of people and somehow they all ended up dead with me still standing. I thought they were stupid, you know, incapable of knowing what to do, but with time I just realized they were not stupid they were weak, they didn't know how to fend for themselves, they needed someone to take care of them. I saw them all fall, doll, like flies, one by one," he looked in the direction of the window, imitating a splatter sound and flexing his fingers in the air.

"That's when I found a group, Dwight, Sherry and her sister were in it, I joined them, one thing led to another and I made this place, people would come to me, weak people, asking for my protection and I fucking delivered, in the beginning there were no rules and soon it all became one big mess, it's hard for people to accept that they are weak, that they don't have what it takes to survive and incidents were accruing more that they should, I lost a lot of good people trying to keep order, so I decided that I will protect them from their own pride by killing it completely, and I made rules, rules you see today. It was hard for some to accept them, and well they were dealt with property, some of them you can even see on fences now, as a daily reminder to the rest what happens when you don't obey. "

He turned his head to Alice looking at her with eyes filled with unexpected sadness, "I fucking know I am too strict sometimes and that the punishments are too brutal, Ićm not stupid, doll, but it's better for them to fear me and live than love me and die. In times like this respect is more productive than love."

Alice came closer to him, sitting up on the sofa and bringing his head to her chest, trying to give him at least a bit of love and understanding she thought he deserved but never got.

"You know," she spoke quietly, "yesterday you told me you didn't know what you did to deserve the rescue from a certain death. What you don't realize is that this is what you did that made you deserve it, this place you made. You could have killed Rick's group, take all they got, move few of your people to Alexandria, make it your own and be done with it, but you choose to kill only one person, I know it was two but the second one was not in your original plan, but you still let rest of them live. And that is something no one would have done, I wouldn't do it, hell, ever the saint Rick wouldn't do it, but you did it and I know the world won't give you credit for that, fuck the world, you are doing something amazing here, you are protecting your people and doing it with much less brutality many leaders would and you are fucking successful in that. "

She felt his grip tightening; pulling her closer, she kissed the top of his head and remain quiet for a while, letting him grasp his mind around the idea that he isn't the monster everyone is taking him to be but just a human doing the best he can to keep everyone around him alive, even his enemies.

Five minutes after, the knock on the door startled them from their thought, Negan quickly let go of her, taking his notes and looking down at them, with Alice standing up and going to get her knives for the night stand.

"Come in," Negan said and not a second after Joseph came bursting into the room, with a usual smile on his face. A smile that fell the moment he saw Alice sitting down on the side of the bed in her tank top, with her hair still wet, strapping her knives around her thigh.

His eyes fell down on her cleavage and he got lost, not even hearing Negan approaching him and snapping his finger in front of his face.

"Joe, my eyes are up here," he told him while moving closer to the man, Joseph tried to make a step backward but only hit the door.

"I…I…", the man stuttered, averting his eyes from Negan trying to minimize the damage his stare was doing to him, but only made things worse when he glanced towards where Alice was sitting, her arms locked onto her chest and looking at Negan with an amused smile on her face.

"I told you something Joe," Negan growled.

"Ï…I.. just came to…" Joseph couldn't even remember why he came, "I…I…"

"Why did you come, Joseph?" , Alice finally decided to intervene, as much as it was amusing to watch Negan scare people with his jealousy fits, after a few minutes it became a torture to look at Joseph sweating under his gaze.

"Simon told me to let you…boss…know that he is leaving in an hour and will be in his room," Joseph finally spoke.

"Thank you for letting me know, now get out", Negan spat at him not moving to even give him space to open the door properly.

The man struggled around, trying to feel a doorknob with his hand, still not daring to look away from Negan, it took him around half of minute to opened the door just enough so he could squeeze himself out of the room, not even closing them properly before starting to run away.

"You, mean, mean man," Alice came from behind him, locking her arms around his waist and sliding her hand into his pants, "but fuck it, you are hot when you are jealous."

"I was not jealous," he growled, before letting out a heavy breath when he felt her hand on him.

"If you say so," and with that she moved away, reaching out for her boots and pulling them on.

"What the fuck are you doing, doll," he turned around confused.

"Well, going to find Simon and get ready for today."

"You are going to leave things unfinished like this?", he looked down.

"Well, I got things to do, man," she grabbed her backpack, and started to leave before turning around and pulling him closer, "and that what I started I will finish when I come back, don't you dare start without me, " she winked giving him a quick kiss on the lips and disappearing from the room.

ooo

Alice was standing in front of Simons room, staring at the knob for two minutes now, taking deep breaths and trying to muster enough courage to knock on the door.

She knew he was not really angry at her, at least it didn't look like he was yesterday, but still part of her was nervous," you can't stand like this forever Alice" she mumbled as she took a final deep breath and knocked, but no one answered, she knocked again still nothing.

"Shit Simon where are you," she ran her hand over her ponytail and decided to look inside, maybe he fell asleep or something.

She popped her head inside of the room and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with his back turned away from the door and his head down, holding something that looked like a picture in his hand.

Alice knew that he was having a private moment, but damn it all if her curiosity was ever left unsettled.

She knocked again on now half opened door, "While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door."

Simon was startled, suddenly turning around and looking at Alice, "what the fuck psycho you scared a shit out of me."

She only smiled while coming in, not waiting for an invitation.

"What did you say?"

"Didn't you hear me rapping?"

"What?"

"Rapping at your chamber door?"

"What chamber door," Simon turned around, looking at now closed door and then at Alice, who was now sitting on the bed next to him, "you know what psycho, never mind. Did you need something?"

"Yes, Negan told me you are leaving for Hilltop, and," Alice looked down, rubbing her palms over her thighs, "and, surprise I am coming with you!" she enthusiastically yelled, trying to cover how nervous she really is, apparently threating someone with his life is not good for friendship, she really needs to remember that one.

Simon just smiled at her, shaking his head and looking down at the photo he was holding, "yes, I know, he told me last night."

"Soooo, are you good with that?"

Simon glanced at her, "as long as I don't end up at gun point again, we are cool."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Alice's eyes fell on a photo in his hand, there was a blonde, hazel eyed pregnant woman on it, wearing a wedding dress and Simon, who looked at least twenty years younger, wearing a tuxedo and standing next to her, with a wide smile that made his eyes glow. He looked different, he looked younger, carefree, happy.

"It's ok, sweetheart, you did what you had to do, it was my fault I stood in your way, by now I should have learned it is not good for health," Simon let out a heavy sight.

Alice didn't know what to do at that moment, she wanted to console him but she was not sure what he was grieving over so she just nudged him to the side, "you are lucky I have a soft spot for you mustache man."

He laughed, not looking at her, still concentrate on a woman in a picture, "yeah, I guess I am."

"Who's that?" she finally decides she is done beating about the bush, her curiosity started hurting her.

"My wife."

"You were married?"

"Yeah, briefly, long time ago."

"She is beautiful."

"Yes, she was, most beautify girl in the town," Simon smiled, looking at Alice, "and she had eyes only for me. I was one lucky bastard."

"Well, I can see why. You were also one good looking bastard."

Simon laughed, "it's because of the tuxedo, Mary told me, I will have to wear it every day, now that she saw how good I looked in it. But I think she was just jerking me around, I mean I looked good in everything, she just knew how much I hated the ties."

Alice laughed, "I really have a hard time imaging you tying it."

"It was clip-on."

"hahaha, I figured."

"I did wear it once again, not long time after that."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Simon looked down at the picture again, "at their funeral."

Alice felt the chill going down her spine, she looked at Simon, not sure what to do, to hug him, that was just stupid, she is not a hug-hug person and neither is he. To say, 'I'm sorry,' we'll it was a bit too late, she hated situations like this, damned her and her curiosity, why didn't she just let it go.

"How did she?" if she could only kick her own ass, now would be a perfect time for that, _'really Alice, more question?'_ , she berated herself.

"At the childbirth, there were…some complications."

"And the baby?"

"Stillborn."

"Oh…"Alice looked away, "how old would…"

"She…it was she… I don't know, shit, fifteen, I think, it's hard to tell time nowadays."

"Yeah, it is," Alice placed her hand on his, tightening it.

"And the rest of your family?" she tried to change the subject.

"I had…I have… fuck, I don't know, a baby sister, she married in Virginia, I don't know is she alive, we didn't talk after Mary died."

"Oh…"

"Yes, she looked like you, tall, green eyes but she had a honey hair and was very strict. After Mary died, I drank a lot, and we kinda fell apart. She told me once that she would rather not hear from me ever again, than to watch me destroy myself, and she left."

"I…I…fuck…I know how it is…to want to die," Alice couldn't remember last time she had to struggle for words as much as she did these past few days.

Simon looked at her, with a faint smile on his face, "yes, nowadays it seems that only people like us survived. That's one fucked up irony."

They sat there for a while longer, Simon poured them a glass of Jin and they talked about nothing skipping from subject to subject killing time, before one of the Saviors came to let them know they are ready to do.

Simon and Alice went out when they saw Negan waiting for them, leaning on a black pick-up truck Simon chose to take on this run, "sooo, ready to go?", Negan asked them, spreading his arms, with a foxy smile on his face.

"Yes boss, everything is in order and this train is ready to leave the station," Simon was the one to speak.

Negan chuckled at that, coming to Alice and placing his arm around her lower back, "honey, no killing people unless they ask for it? Ok?"

"Yesss," Alice rolled her eyes, acting annoyed.

"And if someone is annoying that doesn't mean they are asking for it."

"Alright, Alight, I get it, 'Alice don't kill their leader' I received the memo"

"That's my girl," Negan leaned, kissing her temple, "I will be waiting for you to finish that thing we talked about," he whispered, before letting her go and walking away, with Joseph at his heels holding a bunch of papers in his hands. Negan stood in his steps, straightening up and looking at the man, with Lucile loosely hanging by his side, man bubbled around clearly trying to explain something to him, before Negan leaned a little saying something that made Joseph face changes dozens of colors as he turned around and ran towards the factory.

Negan just started laughing as man jogged away, before looking in the direction where Alice was, just to see shaking her head with a grin on her face.

His smile widened at that, showing his whites, he winked at her as he swung Lucile up to his shoulder with his other hand in his pocket and turned around slowly straddling away from them.

"Are you done staring psycho? We need to move?"

Alice turned to Simon, who was already standing one foot in the truck holding himself up, "yes, but I am driving."

Simon smiled at that, "no you're not."

"Yes, I am, you had a whole glass of Jin, you are probably hammered already."

"ha-ha-ha, very funny Alice."

"I am not joking, now shoo, " Alice pushed him away as she took the driver's seat and started up the engine.

They were driving for five minutes before Simon started to dig through the glove compartment.

"What the fuck are you doing Simon?"

"Trying to find some tapes here, seeing how you lost the one I had on our last run."

"Hey, that thing saved lives."

"Really?", Simon gaped at her.

"Yes, man, when I turned it on all the walkers just dispersed from the courtyard. How else do you think I saved Negan yesterday?"

"ha-ha-ha, very funny Alice, look at my face," her ghosted his finger around his dead serious face, "this is a face of fun."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them." ― Jack Handey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

"So, the group that was dealing with Hilltop is dead?", Alice broke the silence after a half an hour drive.  
"Yep, those poor fucks Rick slaughtered."  
"Hilltop and Alexandria were in some kind of conspiracy or?"  
"We think so," Simon shrug his shoulders, "but how knows. It's kind of a big coincidence that Alexandria group attacked our outpost just a few days after we had problems with Hilltop's weekly contribution, to actually be a coincidence."  
"Well, did we do anything about it?"  
"Yes, psycho, what do you take me for" Simon smiled, "I used a trick I saw yesterday morning back at that school and last night sent them a similar message."  
"What?! You had fun without me?"  
"And what you were bored last night?", he wiggled his eyebrow at her.  
"Touché, mustache man, touché."

As they arrived at Hilltop, Alice looked around; it was one of the smallest communities she has ever seen, with not more than a dozen small shacks that surrounded one big house.  
People there looked weak, good fed, but week, the lack of wear and tear on them showed that they didn't see much of a fight since the outbreak started which made their suspicion about them conspiring with Alexandria to take the Saviors down only stronger, how else would they get rid of them than with the help of a stronger community, probably for some food and goods.  
Simon was first to leave the truck, looking around as he marched towards the main building; Alice pulled her face shield and hood up before she fell into steps with him.  
It was that moment when she realized how many Saviors did actually come for this run, it seemed a bit over exaggeration giving the size of the community, but she knew it was a statement being made.  
"So did we bring the entire army with us or?"  
"Just the best part of it," Simon smiled as he knocked on the doors of the main building.

The tall, older man peeked behind the door looking at them, before opening it completely to let them in, Simon was the first to enter with Alice at his heels. She scanned the man standing on the door then looked around the house. It was one of those big farm houses made for bigger families, with tall white walls and ceiling decorated with more chandeliers than necessary, the wooden floor was decorated with rich carpets, windows with thick linen curtains and walls filled with paintings.

Simon walked around the room, looking around himself in awe, this place looked like it didn't belong in this world, hell, it looked like it didn't even belong in the community it was housing.  
Alice saw a big golden mirror near the entrance door, she stood there looking at her reflection.  
"Admiring the view?", Simon asked her.

"No, just thinking how good this thing would look in Negan's…my room," Alice smiled beneath her shield at that sentence. Simon just glanced at her with a smirk of amusement on his face, he was about to say something when they heard an unknown male voice behind them.

"Hello, there," spoke the leader of Hilltop community, Simon and Alice turned around, the older man was surveying everyone then fixed his eyes on Alice.  
"Hello," Simon was the one to speak, "you're Gregory, right?"  
"Guilty as charged. Welcome to Hilltop," the man smiled extending his hands to shake Alice's but she just looked down at it, crossing her arms over her chest making him clear his throat with embarrassment written all over his features before going to stand in the middle of the room.  
"Well, at least he easily admits the guilt," Alice rolled her eyes as she followed Simon. The man was already getting on her nerves and she wasn't there for five minutes.  
"Be nice psycho," Simon told her, before fixing his attention to the older man.

"Thank you," Simon smiled.  
"Do..a", man glanced at Alice one more time, smiling, "make yourself at home."  
"This isn't a social call," Simon came to stand in between the man and her, not fearing for her, but trying to prolong the life of an old fool and save himself unnecessary headache, knowing Negan, if she was to kill him it would be his ass on the questioning table not hers. He already saw a picture, Negan standing in front of them fuming and Alice just shrugging it off like I was nothing, saying he got on her nerves and going her way, leaving him with Negan to explain why did he let the man get on her nerves, just imagining the situation gave him a slight headache.

"Oh, I…I wouldn't think it is."  
"We need to talk," Simon told him, with a wide smile, "It's getting a little claustrophobic in here, right? Let's talk in your study, I wanna see that painting, can't remember who told me about it, but… I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter now anyway. Don't know if you heard what happened?"  
"What…what happened?"  
"Our brothers and sisters in arms, they were removed from the field of operation."  
"They were killed," Alice spoke, Simon turned around flashing her a look of warning. Alice shrugged her shoulders, "what, he fucking knows what happened!" pointing at the old man, who looked like he will piss himself at any moment.  
"Brothers and sisters, what do you mean?" man scratched his beard, trying to act confused and badly failing at it.  
"It means we need to talk," Simon shouted, leaning his arm on man's shoulder and leading him to his office. Alice started going with them before Simon opened the office doors, pushing the man inside and signaling him to wait for a second before turning around and coming closer to her.

"Alice, you are not going inside," he whispered to her so the rest of their man couldn't hear them.  
"Yes, I am," she leered at him.  
"I am not Negan, you don't have to watch over me."  
"I don't do it because I have to, I do it because I want to."  
"Doesn't matter Alice, you are not going inside."  
"Well, I am not standing here waiting for you to finish, so either I go inside or I go take a look around the compound. Now I would recommend you choose the option where you can keep your eyes on me because who knows what I might do, you know how unpredictable I can be."  
Simon heavily sighed, running his hand over his face, "Jesus Christ, how can one person be so stubborn. Alright, you come with me, but behave and don't scare the man the last thing we need is him getting a heart attack."  
"You hurt my feeling mustache man, you know I'm always nice."  
"Yeah, yeah… ok, let's go."

ooo

The office was like the rest of the house, with tall windows, wooden floor, the big oak table in the middle and big painting decorating the surface above the fireplace.

Alice popped herself on the table, sitting on it with her legs folded and going through the papers that were on the side of the desk.  
Gregory looked at her, "that's the oak you are sitting on."  
"Funny thing, it looks like a table to me," Alice turned around herself.  
"I mean the table, it's made of oak."  
"And I mean, I don't give a fuck," she was grateful the rest of her face was covered so he could only play a guessing game about how much he really got on her nerves.

"Oh, how rude of me, I didn't introduce you to Alice, she Negan's left hand," Simon spoke, looked around the room with his hand resting no his hips.  
"Is that so," Gregory smiled at her again, "you must be a very capable woman then," he placed his hand on her thigh.  
Alice almost planted one of her knives in it before Simon intervene,"Oh, yes, you probably would like to take that hand away from her, she will chop it and I won't stop her."

"Oh," man took his hand of Alice, taking a few steps away from her, "soooo, she is a feisty one?", he asked Simon, acting like she is not even in the room and that made her nerves only cringe a bit more.  
"More like insane, but call it what you want to call it," Simon turned around.  
"WOW, look at that guy," and went to have a closer look at the painting on the wall, Gregory glance at Alice one more time, with the same creepy smile on his face he was giving her ever since they came, before joining Simon.

"Wooooow, isn't this a beauty, psycho?"  
Alice just looked up from a book she found on the desk, "yeah, I guess, I'm not a painting person."  
Gregory cleared his throat, shifting his eyes between Alice and Simon, "in regarding the last night, message received, loud and clear"  
"What was the message?" Simon asked him, still admiring the painting, the old man just looked at him confuse and then at Alice, who wasn't batting an eye at them, concentrated on the book in her hand.  
Simon looked at him, arching his brow, waiting for an answer, "you said it was loud and clear."  
"I…I…I just thought you were showing us who's the boss, hmm", Alice chuckled at that, the man turned to her but she didn't lift her head from the book, it looked like she found something funny in between the pages, which was odd giving the nature of the book she was holding.  
"Ouuuhh, that," Simon turned to painting once again, "it's…it's just breathtaking, See that management by example, the crap you gotta deal with."  
"hah," man snorted, "you're telling me."  
"Soooo, last night, that was us," Simon pointed at Alice then himself, "working our asses off, to provide you an example, you gotta nice place, tall walls, people in here probably forgotten how the corpses look like," Simon continued, turning around and leaning on the table by Alice's side, he glance for a second at a book in her hands and then back at Gregory, "what they smell like. Now we were gonna killed them for you to remind you of a service we can provide… buuut you cleaned up the mess yourselves. Good on you."  
"Well, we must have picked up some skill from your people."  
"Oh, sweet Jesus," Alice mumbled, not lifting her head from the book but burying her face in it… the man just continued oblivious to her annoyment.  
"sooo, when you think about it, you still saved us."  
"Really?!" she finally decided to join in the conversation, "Really?! Can I kill him already Simon?"  
"No… that is really nice way to look at it, and we appreciate it," Simon tilted his head to the side trying to calm her down.  
"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, turning the page of the book and fixing her attention back to it.

A man was horrified, sitting down on a sofa near the table, pulling the collar of his shirt that suddenly felt like it was choking him.  
"I…I'm a team player, I think that's why people chose me."  
"What the..." Alice was back at it again "they chose you?"  
"Well..yeah…"  
"Simon, these people are on some kind of drugs here and I want a piece of that," Simon chuckled, tapping her thigh and going to sit at Gregory's side.  
"Other people of ours, the ones you were dealing with, I think they got spoiled working with a guy like you," Simon continued his sweet talk, "might have made them a little soft or butchered."  
"They are really dead," the man gasped.  
"very, very dead, extremely dead," Simon nodded.  
"If I wasn't there when all that shit went down, after meeting you, I would swear they committed suicide," Alice mumbled while turning another page.  
Simon turned to her, clearing his throat and signaling her to stop, she just sighed, rolling her eyes and making a 'zip it' gesture with her hand, telling him that she won't utter another word.

Gregory glances at her for a moment, then turned to Simon, leaning closer to him and lowering his voice, "tell Negan we understand the benefits of crossing the aisle."

Alice leaned closer trying to hear what they were talking about, Simon chuckled, shaking his head, "no, no reason for that."  
"Noooo" man confusedly turned his head to Alice but it looked like she wasn't paying attention to them.  
"Because for now, I'm your Negan, because that's what Negan wants", Simon gloated," but thank you, it means a lot that you recognize what we bring to the table. That's why you are here and others aren't…understand?"

A man started rubbing his hands off on his thighs, looking at the carpet; he was like that for a minute before nodding in agreement. He looked like he was fighting himself over something and as easily Alice picked it up from afar so did Simon.  
"Is there anything else you want to tell us, any hitches in the giddyup we should be aware of?"  
Gregory fell silent, not turning his head to Simon, not giving him the answer just looking at the same spot on the carpet.  
"Gregroyyyy," Simon called for him.  
"Actually there is" the man finally broke, took a few deep breaths before standing up, "will you please come with me."  
Alice was already on her feet when Simon came to her side following Gregory as he led the outside of his office.  
"Well this should be interesting," Alice mumbled.

She looked around the room, all their men were still there holding their weapons ready to attack at the command, at that moment she spotted a shorter man, with long hair and blue eyes standing with the group.  
Alice didn't remember him coming with them or seeing him around the Sanctuary, so she could only assume he was one of the residents of the Hilltop, but he looked familiar and it was eating her up because she couldn't pinpoint where exactly she saw him.

Gregory lead them to the closet in the hallway, he looked around himself like he was debating should he open the door or not, then he glance over to the blue-eyed man, Alice picked it up and tried to understand the silent conversation they were having, the man just shook his head, clearly disapproving Gregory's actions. Alice wasn't sure what is happening behind the curtains, but something was fishy, she came to stand at Simons side, taking one of her knives from her belt and getting ready for any surprise that might come out as Gregory took the handle and abruptly opened the door.

"Are you serious?" Simon jaw dropped, Alice tensed at that coming closer to him with a knife in her hand, looking inside.  
"What the…" she turned to Simon, not sure what to say, then she looked at the man who was standing among the Saviors and he just smiled.  
"Simon, am I seeing right or are those just boxes of liquor there?" she whispered to Simon.  
"Yap," he nodded, clearly trying to understand what is happening.  
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, Simoooon."  
"Shush, Alice, first we take the liquor then we solve conspiracy theories."

Gregory pulled the half drank bottle out of the box on the top and turned around to show it to Alice and Simon.  
"Amy, Simon this is…"  
"It Alice, are you dense and we can fucking read it's scotch."  
"Well…not just…"  
"I hate this stuff," Simon interrupted him, "tastes like ashtrays and window cleaner, I am more of a Jin-man."  
"And..you dear…Kelly?", Gregory turned to Alice.  
"Who the fuck is Kelly," she turned around herself, "Kelly! No, no Kelly here!"  
She heard a few man in the group letting out a chuckle, "it's fucking Alice, ALICE, do you want me to carve it on your hand so you can fucking remember?! And I also hate it, I'm a rum woman."  
"Soooo, you both hate it?" Gregory asked them, hugging the bottle and bringing it close to his chest.  
"Yes, but Negan will love it? What do you think psycho."  
"He will be delighted! Thank you, Gregory," Alice walked around the man and took the box from the closet, "Oh, yeah, please put that bottle in the box, my hands are kind of busy at the moment."  
He looked at Simon, who just stood there, grinning at them, "you heard the woman. I would recommend you not wait for her to ask twice. "

Alice called out for one of the Saviours to take the box and put it in the truck while Simon was wrapping up business with Gregory.

"Alight gentlemen, get to work! Take half of what they have, but remember only half, and yes, take the painting," Simon came at her side ready to leave, when Alice turned around, smiling at Gregory.  
"One more thing," she took a few steps toward the man, "can I get a kneel out of you?"  
"What?" , man was at lost, trying to understand what she was telling him to do  
"I said, fucking kneel." She got into his face, grinning at him.  
"You want me to kneel?"  
"Yes, I fucking want you to kneel, do you fucking speak English? If not I know few more international languages," she took one of her knives and run his blade gently over man's cheek.

He obliged her, slowly getting down and kneeling before her, he looked around himself all the Saviors were mockingly grinning at him, enjoying the view.  
"That's one solid kneel, Gregory," Simon smiled, "what do you think psycho?"  
"Nah, I saw better," she didn't looked amuse, "practice for the next time," she leaned close to the man, coming to his ear, "Just so you know there are few things I hate more that weasel and the only reason you are alive is because I got strict orders not to kill you, but man you are on thin ice, you better make sure you convince me you are worth keeping alive," she tapped him on the head and turned to leave.  
Before stopping again, "Oh, yeah, I'm taking the mirror and the book. You there," she called for saviors standing on her right, "take that thing to mine and Simon's truck"

ooo

Alice and Simon were in the courtyard, watching their man as they loaded the goods, making sure everything is packed properly when Alice realized that the task is too boring for her and decided to go and look around the community.

"Where are you going, Alice?" Simon called for her.  
"To look around, be back soon."  
"Alice…do not…"  
"Yeah, yeah, Alice don't kill anyone, I got the message," she turned around and left him to tend to his business.

She was walking around the compound for a while, it was amazing how these people manage to grow such large amounts of food in such small space, she wanted to go and ask who was supervising their planting and growing process when something caught her eye.

In the back of the courtyard, there were two unmarked graves, that looked like they were freshly dug, she came closer, crouching down and taking a fistful of dirt, when she heard a muffled footsteps approaching her.  
She stood up, taking one of her knives and swinging it around to man's throat, it was the same man she saw in the house, he was holding his hand up, signaling her that he was unarmed.

"You should never, ever sneak up on people like that," she snarled at him.  
"They usually don't hear me coming," he smiled.  
"Well, one of the hounded cases can get you killed."  
"Duly noted."

He didn't speak after that, just looking at her, Alice choose to ignore him and went back to examining graves.  
They were silent for a few minutes before she heard his voice again. "Something interesting to be found among the dead?"  
"More than among the living," she whispered.  
"Is that so?"  
"Yes, but that's not why I am fascinated about these particular graves."  
"It's not," man locked his hands behind his back.  
"No… what I find interesting is the fact that you don't have a graveyard, it has been almost three years since the outbreak, so you must have lost more people that these two here, now, that leads to two possibilities, a: you are really good at defending yourself: which I highly doubt seeing people here and b: you burn your dead; which is practical and smart thing to do nowadays. So why are these two special? "  
"They didn't want to be burned, that's all, nothing special about that."  
"Why?" Alice stood up coming to the man and slowly circling around him.  
"Their religion prohibited the cremation."  
"Huh, that a bit mundane thing to worry about now isn't it?" she came to stand before him.  
"It was their wish, we obliged."  
"Yeah, you leader looks like a very reasonable man."  
"More than yours."  
Alice laughed, shaking her head, "you got some guts, what's your name?"  
"Paul, friends call me Jesus"  
"Jesus.. really?" she arched her eyebrow at that "can you turn water into wine?"  
He chuckled, "no,"  
"Well, then you're just Paul."  
"Fine by me, it's not like we would be friends ever if I could turn water into wine"  
"You're right, we wouldn't, I hate wine."

Alice stood in front of the man quietly for a long moment, trying to figure him out, the fact that she couldn't remember where she saw him before still bugged her but it didn't peak her curiosity not nearly as much as his attitude did, he was looking at her with small, blissful smile, keeping his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where do I know you from?"  
"Nowhere."  
"No, I saw you somewhere, but I can't pinpoint where. All I know it was not here, I never got close to this community before."  
"Sorry, can't help you with that puzzle."  
"Hm," Alice came closer to him, "no you can't, but don't worry I will figure that one later, I'm a smart cookie, or so I have been told. But there is another puzzle you can solve for me."  
"Oh, there is?" man was still smiling, making her return the gesture; he amused her alone more than this entire community altogether.

"What did Gregory thought was in that closet earlier today?"  
Jesus twitched at her question, "exactly what you saw."  
"So your leader sacrificed his liquor cache, which he was obviously hiding away from us all this time, just to butter us up?"  
"What can I say, he is a man of many virtues."  
Alice laughed, "he is a man of many something, but not virtues."  
She was quiet for few second, waiting for him to answer her question with an answer she could actually believe is the truth, but it did happen.  
"You know Paul, I don't appreciate you taking me for a fool or insulting Negan by even comparing him to the worm your leader is. But we have rules, one of the rules is, the first one is for free and I happen to find you extremely interesting, so I will overlook even the second one. But don't make the third one. Now I'll ask you again, Paul, what did Gregory expect to find in that closet? And please realize that this is a question I ask out of courtesy because if I don't get an answer I will order our man to ransack this entire place, even if it takes us a week, we will find what we are looking for. "  
Jesus was silent for a long minute before letting his eyes fall to the ground, "weapons."  
"Really, weapons?"  
"Yes," he sighed, "we moved it without telling him, it was the cache we found a few days ago and didn't get a chance to give you the half of it and after the last night's attack we were not sure we should."

"Really, weapons?" Alice didn't look convinced.  
"Yes," he nodded.  
"Show me that cache?"  
Jesus signaled her to go with him as he led her through the compound to one of the old dumpsters in the back, Alice called for one of the Saviors to follow her, when they reached the dumpster, Jesus lifted up the lid and there is was, the wooden box filled with weapons.

"Would you look at this," Alice smiled, reaching inside and taking the box out of the dumpster.  
"It looks like you were not lying after all, funny thing, I am usually right about shit like that," she went through the content of the box, "Wow, this is some quality merchandise, we will take all of this, you know as the payment for those two strikes from before.."  
She turned around and gave the box to the saviors standing at her side, "take this to the truck, Negan will love this addition to the weaponry."  
"Thank you, Paul, you truly are a saint," Alice tapped him on the shoulder before turning around and going to find Simon.

"Where did you disappear, Alice?" Simon was waiting for her by the truck ready to leave.  
"Oh, I went shopping," she smiled, pointing at the box Saviors was putting into the truck.  
"What's that?" Simon came close to take a peek, "holy shit, psycho, where did you find this."  
"Let's just say it was a gift from God."  
"Negan will love the result of today's run," Simon smiled.  
"Yes, he will, speaking off Negan, are we ready to leave yet?"  
"In a hurry, psycho?"  
"Kind of, yeah," Alice blurred out while getting into the truck and turning on the engine.

ooo

They were half way from home when their truck radio turned on, "Simon, we have a problem. Over" it was one of the drivers.  
"Shit, don't we always," Simon cursed, before turning the radio on, "what seems to be the problem. over"  
"Main truck shot down. Over"  
"Shit," Alice cursed, "can't one run go without hitches."  
"No," Simon shook his head, before signaling the rest of the convoy to stop.

"What the problem?" Simon approached the driver.  
"Engine stopped working, I can fix it but it will take time."  
"Fuck, it's almost sunset; we need to get back to the compound."  
"We can't stay here all night," one of the saviors spoke.  
"We can travel after the nightfall." Alice intervened, "I am sure we can fix this in no time."  
"No, no traveling after the sunset, light attract walkers, " Simon run his hand through his hair, trying to figure out what to do.  
"I will stay, fix this and I will get to the Sanctuary first thing in the morning," driver spoke.  
"Are you sure?" Alice really didn't like that idea, but it looked like it was the only way to go.  
"Yes, I am. Don't worry, one truck doesn't attract much attention."  
"Is there no other way?" Alice looked at Simon.  
"No, there's not, I don't like it either but there is nothing we can do about it."  
"I'll stay with him."  
"The hell you will."  
"Two is better than one Simon."  
"I don't give a fuck, I am not leaving you here. Negan will chop my head off and play pool with it if I would to return without you."  
"You are over exaggerating, Simon, he wouldn't do that, we don't have a pool table."  
"I am sure he would improvise, you will not stay."  
"I'll stay," another man came to them, "I'll stay with him and the rest of you go home."  
"Happy now?" Simon looked at Alice.  
"Yes, I am," Alice smiled, truth be told she didn't really want to stay there all night but she just couldn't leave one man alone out here, so this solution was the best she could have asked for.

ooo

The sun started to set when they came back to the compound, to her surprise Negan wasn't waiting for them with the rest of the Saviors, so she didn't wait for Simon to even give the orders to the men before she marched up to their room, but her wasn't there either, she only found a note on the bed;

" _Doll, I went to market, some shit with point got screwed up, stop freaking out and don't you dare go looking for me, rest. Be back soon."_

She smiled at the note and decided to go and get a shower, it was a long day and bumpy ride back home.  
She turned on the shower and allowed the warm water to relax her muscles and clear the thoughts, she was still thinking about Paul trying to understand where did she see him before, something was telling her it was important to remember but she couldn't, the crucial piece of that puzzle was missing and she didn't know where to look for it.  
She was shaken out of the thought with a hard knock on the door, she quickly wrapped herself up with a towel and got out of the bathroom.

Two Saviors were on the other side of the door, holding a big mirror, "Simon told us to bring this up."  
"Oh shit, I forgot about that thing, leave it on the sofa, was there a book with it?"  
One of them nodded, as they left the mirror he reached into his pocket and gave her a book she picked up in Hilltop, "thank you, you are free now," she smiled.

She put on a clean black tank top and a pair of boxers and went to sit on the bed with her legs crossed, opening the book and continuing from where she left off back at Hilltop.

Half an hour later, the door of the room opened, with Negan coming inside with Lucile in his left hand and a tray of food in his right.  
"So, my queen is back," he smiled leaving a tray on the coffee table, not letting his eyes drift from Alice, who was looking at him over the edge of the book.  
"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he fell on the bed beside her, moving her hair back and kissing the side of her neck, "had fun today, dear?"  
He took a book from her leaving it on the nightstand and pushing her in lying position, with him looming over her.  
"Yes, I did."  
"Simon told me you were really nice to everyone there," he started to bit down on her collarbone.  
Alice couldn't help herself, she burst out in laughter, Negan prompted himself on his elbow, not sure what got into her.  
"Ok doll, whatever I did here, this isn't the result I was fucking aiming for."  
"No, no," she couldn't stop laughing, "it's... Simon really told you that?"  
"Yes, why?"  
"It just…" she couldn't stop, "I could swear he wanted to kill me more than once today, hahahha…I… hahaha… he is precious…hahaha."

"Alight doll," Negan stood up, "I will go take a quick shower and let you cool down a bit, but then you will finish what you started this morning," he gave her a quick kiss before leaving her to fight her laughter down.

When he came out of the bathroom, Alice was back to herself, reading the same book again, "what are you reading, doll?" he looked at the covers, " 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra', where did you found that thing?"  
"Oh, at Hilltop, it was on their leader desk, I always wanted to read it but never got a chance," she closed the book, coming to stand on her knees and pulling him closer to her, "now, let me remember where did I stop this morning."  
"What the fuck is that doll?"  
Alice turned around to see what was he referring to, "what?"  
"That thing on the sofa."  
"It's a mirror."  
"Well, I can fucking see that doll."  
"I thought it would look good in the bathroom. You don't like it?"  
"No, no, it's very nice, it's just…it's just one big fucking mirror."  
"What can I say I am a fan of big things," she purred, locking her arms around his neck and pulling him down.  
"I figured you for a fan."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

That morning Alice woke up just before the dawn, she turned around just to see Negan on the other side, laying on the stomach, with his right hand loosely hanging from the bed and his face buried in the pillow, she thought about waking him up and having some fun but the picture of him in blissful sleeping was too cute to shatter, not that she would ever use the word cute while he was awake. She slowly got up and went to the bathroom; freshening up a bit before she decided to go for a walk around the compound.

She was going down the stair when she saw Sherry standing there with a cigar in her hand, lost in her thoughts. Alice would probably just go the other way, she was not in the mood for a chit-chat, especially with one of Negan's ex-wife's, even though she never had anything against Sherry, it was just awkward, and she doesn't do awkward, but she wanted to go out in the back and that was the only way. She hoped she would just pass by her, with a greeting and nothing more but as always her hopes were short-lived.

Sherry saw her coming down, straightening up and looking at her, Alice walked past her, "good morning, Sherry," and continued her way before woman's voice stopped her.

"Alice, can I talk to you."

Alice rolled her eyes, even though she wasn't in the mood for a chit-chat, she respected woman and some duties come with respect.

"Sure, Sherry, what's up?" Alice turned trying to cut the conversation as short as possible.

"Where's Negan?"

Alice frowned, 'what the fuck do you care?' , "In his room, sleeping, I didn't want to wake him up."

"Oh… he never sleeps this long," woman was surprised.

"Yeah, he sleeps much better lately," Alice was fed up with this, she didn't see where this conversation was leading but she could feel she won't like the place, "please Sherry, cut the chit-chat, I am not in the mood, what do you need?"

Woman cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to another, "I want to talk to you about Amber and Mark."

"Aaaand this conversation is over," Alice turned to leave.

"Please, Alice, listen to me."

"No, I am not listening to you and I am not talking with you or anyone else about those two pieces of trash."

"Amber made a mistake, I know."

"Well, that's, to put it mildly."

"I know you tried to help her, I am sorry you got caught in all that, but please talk to Negan, ask him to go easy on her."

"No."

"Alice, please, you're the only person he listens to."

"I fucking said no! I am not talking to Negan about that, I am not even mentioning it to him, and those two deserved everything they will get. I don't give a shit and I would recommend you stop giving it as well, it will end badly for anyone who gets involved in the crap those two ungrateful fucks stirred up."

"Alice, she knows she made a mistake."

"Well, good, guess she is not as stupid as she looks."

"How can you be so cold?"

"You'd be surprised how easily I manage that."

"You really are just like him."

"hahaha, oh honey," Alice was up in her face, "if you were only that lucky. I am much, much worse."

Sherry backed away, taking one step up trying to get her personal space back, but Alice followed her, taking one step up as well.

"Tell me, Sherry, why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?" woman's voice was trembling.

"I mean, why are you still up in that room when you are free to go back to your man?"

"I…I" woman's eyes fell, "I don't deserve him."

"Why, because you were with Negan for some time? Why would that bother you? You were with Negan even before you became his wife, back when you and Dwight were a happy couple."

Sherry's eyes widened, "he told you about that?"

"Hahaha, no but you just did." Alice chuckled.

"I…I… that was…"

"Whoa, easy there, woman, I don't give a fuck what it was and I certainly won't tell Dwight about it, if you didn't notice, I don't like him very much. All I was trying to say is that you should worry about your situation, not Amber's. Now if you will excuse me, I was about to go out and get some fresh air," Alice went away, leaving Sherry speechless on the stairs.

ooo

The morning was bright, with a mild summer breeze cooling everyone down, Alice was standing near the fences where walkers were, watching man struggling to keep them in check when she felt an arm coming around her waist.

She turned her head to the side, to give Negan a kiss on the cheek as he leaned to rest his chin on her shoulder.

"Where did you disappeared, doll? I didn't like waking up in a cold bed."

"Sorry about that, I was up early and I didn't want to disturb you so I went out to get some morning air."

"Well, this is not the most romantic view to start your day with," he whispered to her, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

"Good thing I have you to romance it up for me."

"You are one lucky woman, I'll give you that."

At that moment the door that led to that side of the compound opened, with Daryl being pushed out with Dwight coming behind him, Negan felt Alice twitch.

"Easy there Dwighty-boy, we don't have medical supplies to waste on unnecessarily broken noses, " Dwight turned around to see Negan looking at him.

"As you say, boss," he scowled as he untied Daryl's hands and led him on the other side of the fence.

"Thank you for that," Alice whispered.

"You know doll, I might get fucking jealous on that soft spot you have for Darryl, over there."

"Good thing it turns me on, then," she side eyed him with a half smirk.

"Good thing, indeed," he pushed her head a bit, biting her earlobe.

She felt his beard tickling her, sending shivers down her spin, she locked his arms tighter around herself, pulling him closer, "I think we should head back to the bedroom, I have something to show you."

"Oh, yeah, and what's that?" he nipped her neck.

"Well, you will have to come and see," she moaned as she untwined herself out of his embrace, taking his hand and leading him back inside, they were in the hallway when they ran across Simon.

"I was looking for you everywhere, the truck with supplies from Hilltop will be here in ten."

"Jesus, fucking, Christ can't a man get a moment alone with his wife."

"Don't be like that," Alice purred, "there are two boxes of goodies from me and Simon in there."

"Will you two tell me already what is it exactly you found in Hilltop, except from one big ass mirror that is now taking up half of the bathroom wall," Negan continued as they walked outside.

"You said you fucking like it!" Alice looked at him.

"And I do, it still doesn't change the size of that thing."

"Well, if you don't want it there, we can take it off."

"You two sound like an old couple," Simon chuckled.

"Fuck you, Simon," they both said simultaneously.

They were out in the courtyard when Simon left them; going to check on storage units to make sure everything is accounted for before the new goods unload.

As the truck pulled into the courtyard, Alice felt relieved to see that the both men they left were unharmed and ok. They were about to walk to the back of the truck when Joseph came running, with the same papers he was holding yesterday in his hands.

"Slow the fuck down, Joseph, you will give yourself a heart attack," Alice looked at the man, his face was red and he was fighting for his breath.

"We have problems with rerouting the Dead, we are on it now, but it got screwed up again" the man looked at Negan, who was scanning him with a dark look in his eyes.

"And whose job was that, Joe, "

"Well, I…I…"

"Can I take a look?" Alice turned to Negan.

"Be my guest, dear, I am already fed up with that problem," Negan was about to turn and walk to the back of the truck when the gunshots were heard.

Alice threw the papers in the moment, jumping at Negan's side, and throwing him down on the ground, covering him with her body.

"Drop, your weapons, I only want Negan. He killed my friends"

"What, the…"Alice looked to the side only to see a driver lying dead and the rest of their man holding their hands in the air.

"As much as I like this position, doll, I think we should first handle the problem at hand," Negan chuckled, Alice couldn't believe he is laughing at this.

"Is that… I heard?"

"Yap, Ricks son, get up dear, we should prepare for our guest."

Alice stood up," great, a kid with a gun, again. I miss the days when all they would do is throw eggs at my window."

"Now that's the story I need to hear, later," he started to go to the back of the truck when Alice grabbed him by his upper arm.

"Where are you going, man?"

"Well, I was about to go and fucking greet our guest, where else."

"He has a gun Negan, c'mon man, don't do this to me again."

"I'll be fucking careful, doll, don't you worry," he winked at her as he strolled away toward his men, whistling.

"Why the fuck does he always do that," Alice mumbled as she looked around herself trying to figure out what to do.

ooo

Negan saw the driver lying on the ground, dead, while the rest of his men stood petrified as Carl swung his weapon left and right, trying to keep everyone at bay. As much as he was mad about his man being taken down again by someone from Alexandria, that shit was already getting old, he had to admit to himself, the kid was a badass and a survivor, something he admired the most in people and the fact that he was no more that fifteen probably even less, only made his admiration twice as big.

"Damn…" he smiled, "you are adorable. Did you pick that gun 'cause it looks cool? You totally did, didn't you?" he looked up to see Alice standing on the top of the truck, looking at him with a smile on her face, she gave him a wink and then focused on the kid, she was right above his head.

"Kid, I ain't gonna lie, you scare the shit out of me. Dear wife, take care of this." Carl was confused, as one of the Saviors ran toward him trying to take his weapon, he shot the man, when something heavy fell on his, knocking him down on the ground and kicking the rifle away from him.

He felt hands on him, turning him around and cold metal being brought close to his throat, as he opened his eye he saw a woman from the woods looming over him, holding him down with one of her knives.

"Surpriseeeee," she smiled.

"Dear, don't scare the kid," Negan came behind her, giving her his hand and helping her get up, "this is why neighbors don't talk with us. I told you before."

"I know, I know, first offer them a hot beverage then pull out the knives. I always get it backward," Alice looked down, grinning, "so kid, wanna glass of cocoa?"

"C'mon kid, let me show you around," Negan extended his hand to Carl, who just looked up at him shifting his eye between the pair, trying to figure out what to do.

"He reminds me of someone, scowling like that," Alice spoke, bending down a bit to get a better look, "I just can't remember whom."

"hahaha, I know doll, he does the same stink eye his dad does, but his is only half as good, because well he is missing an eye," Negan told her, still holding his hand in front of himself, waiting for Carl to take it.

"Oh, yeah, I see it now," she straightened up, looking down at the men on the ground, with a sting of anger.

"Really kid, you are not going to take my hand, because you are lucky you even have a hand," Negan continued, "same as your boy Daryl over here now that I think about it."

Alice turned to look at Daryl, who was leaning on the fence, focused on them, not minding a walker not inches away from him.

"Daryl, please do be careful."

"Yes, Daryl, watch out for that thing, it is trying to take a bite out of you," Negan looked down at Carl, "it's a fucking nasty business, trying to keep those fuckers in line. It would be even nastier with one hand. What do you think, Carl?"

It took Carl few moments to process the threat, before backing down and taking Negan's hand.

"Smart kid," Alice smiled, "must have picked that from his mother."

"Dwighty boy, grab Daryl over there and get some snacks for us, will you? Doll, would you mind checking that problem Joe has while I give Carl a grand tour."

"Are you?", Alice took a step coming closer to him.

"He is unarmed and he is on our territory, please doll, stop worrying that much," Negan whispered to her.

Alice turned around to look at Carl, he was standing few feet's away from them, carefully watching them.

"Alight," her head fell down, "I'll be in our room."

Negan took her chin, lifting her head and kissing her, they were like that for half a minute before they parted away, "and you won't worry while you are there?"

She wrinkled her nose, looking up to the sky, "I won't, I promise," she turned around collecting papers Joseph brought from the ground.

"Alight boys change of plans, first burn the dead then unload the truck." Negan turned to Carl, "Damn it, kid, I won't have time to screw my wife today."

He heard someone clearing his throat when he turned around Alice was looking at him, with her arms crossed over her chest, arching her brow while tapping her foot.

"Ok, maybe a quickie," he smiled.

"I don't do quickies, lover boy," she told him as she passed by him, with her face buried inside Joseph's papers.

Negan chuckled at that, leaning back and turning after her, watching her go up the stairs, when she was out of the sight, he turned to Carl.

"She is a feisty one, but kid, I ain't gonna lie to you," he leaned closer, "I love it. Now let's go I will show you around."

"What are you planning to do to me?" Carl finally spoke.

"Number one, kid, don't shatter my image about you, you are a bad ass, you are not afraid of anyone, don't be afraid of me it's a disappointment, and number two, you really want me to ruin the surprise. Screw you kid, seriously, screw you," he placed his hand on Carl's shoulder and lead him inside of the factory.

ooo

Alice was up in their room, ditching the boot and went to sit on the bed unfolding the map before her and taking Josephs notes, one of the men fell asleep and missed his rerouting check and now they have a leak that needs to be closed.

She was lost deep in the notes when she heard a soft knock on the door, "come in?" she called out, lifting her head only to see Sherry coming into the room, Alice rolled her eyes, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Can I help you with something else, Sherry?"

"Where's Negan?" woman looked around the room.

"We have a guest over for lunch, so he went to show him around. Why?"

"I need to talk to him."

"Take a seat, wait, he will be back soon. Now please, let me concentrate."

Sherry, looked around herself, sitting on the sofa, the room didn't look much different from the last time she was there all that was added to it was a new shelf with books and a guitar in the corner.

"You really don't have much stuff?" she asked Alice.

"No."

"Did you talk to…"

"No." Alice didn't lift her head from the papers.

"Are you going to."

"No."

"Please, Alice, everyone would have done the same thing if they were in her shoes."

Alice looked up at the woman, "did you?"

"What?"

"Did you do the same thing?"

"What? No!"

"See, example number one that you are wrong. Now please, sit there and wait for Negan, quietly."

After a few minutes of keeping quiet, Sherry spoke again.

"You don't know him like I do, Alice. You don't know what he is capable of."

"And you don't fucking know what I am capable of if you don't shut the fuck up!"

Sherry stood up, pacing from one side of the room to another, "Alice, please, tell him just to go gently on her, you don't have to tell him not to punish her."

"I said, no! And besides he won't do shit to her, if he wanted to punish her he would by now. He would never hit any of you or do anything to physically hurt you. Now please, sit the fuck down, be quiet or get out."

"There are worst things he can do to her than that, Alice, he is a monster. Can't you see it."

Alice was seeing red, she stood up from the bed, grabbing a woman by the throat and pinning her against the wall.

"I told you fucking once, I told you fucking twice, to shut the fuck up and still you don't listen. Now, you will leave this instant and never fucking talk to me again. Also, if I ever hear you calling him a monster ever again, I will personally cut that tongue out of your mouth. Are we fucking clear?", Alice let go of her, turning around and going back to bed.

"You were right, you are worse than he is," Sherry whispered, turning around and leaving the room.

After a few minutes, doors opened with Carl coming inside with a tray of fruit in his hands and Negan coming after him.

"Are all those women, really…"

"Yap, my ex-wives," Negan chuckled when he saw Alice sitting on the bed, looking up at them.

"Had fun boys," she smiled.

"Yes, doll," Negan leaned, kissing her cheek, "had to show him all the wonders of this world."

"Sooo, you took him to look at the titties of your ex-wives?" Alice arched her eyebrow.

"Yes, I would never let him look at yours," he pressed his forehead against hers, taking a tip of her shirt and pulling it, peeking inside, "these two babies are only for my eyes."

"You are one dirty man," Alice chuckled.

"I know," he kissed her, "and you fucking love it! By the way, doll, get ready, we are having a barbecue late."

Negan straighten up, looking at Carl and gesturing him to leave the food one the table and to sit down, Alice smiled, she's been waiting for this day too long and now it finally came.

"Sherry was looking for you."

"I know, I ran into her on my way here," Negan was sitting across the table from Carl, "she wanted to talk about Amber, but I already dealt with that shit."

"Good," Alice nodded, not wanting to ask any more questions in front of strangers, "you want me to leave you boys alone?"

"No, doll, I like to have something pretty to look at, stay," Negan winked at her, before concentrating on Carl.

"Ok, kid let's get started."

"Started on what?"

"I want to get to know you a little better…"

ooo

Alice shot down at that moment, turning her attention to the problem at her hands leaving Negan to deal with his own, he was close and that was enough to keep her mind at ease.

It didn't take more than a minute for Negan's voice to break her concentration and make her reach for her gun.

"Two men! Two men…punishment. You really wanna piss me off?" he was growling at Carl, leaning closer, clenching his jaw with a dark look on his face. Carl was shifting in his seat, turning to look at Alice, before letting his head fall as he reached for the bandage on his head unwrapping it.

Negan chuckled, "almost there… get the hair off your face, let me see…"

Alice looked up from the papers on the bed, interested more about what was going on inside the room, as Carl lifted his head and moves his hair from his eye. She saw many things in her life, gore was not something that ever disturbed her, not before when she saw it on the big screens or now when she saw it as a part of her daily routine, but this, this was something else, this was just…. she couldn't find words for what it was… kid, to live through that, it was just wrong.

"Sweet, Jesus," she just whispered, on the other hand, Negan was not so subtle, not that he ever was.

"Christ! That is disgusting, no wonder you cover that up, have you seen it, I mean have you looked in the mirror, that shit is gross as hell, I can see your socket. I wanna touch it, can I touch it?"

He heard Alice clearing her throat, he looked at her and she was staring back at him, gesturing with her eyes at Carl, Negan turned his head trying to figure out what was she referring to, when he saw Carl looking down at the table, with his mouth opened, breathing heavily and tears dripping down his face.

"Oh, damn,' Negan run his hand over his face, he knew he has gone too far, "holy hell kid, look, I…just… it's easy to forget.. you are just kid, I didn't mean to hurt your feeling or anything, I was just screwing around…"

The room was filled with tension, Negan's head was down as he was side eyeing Alice, who was looking at Car with eyes filled with sadness, shaking her head and looking down at the map on the bed. When someone knocked on the door, Alice rolled her eyes, today their room was more like a bus station than an actual room.

After a long moment of debating should he let the person in or chase her away, Negan finally spoke: "come in."

Joseph busted into the room, with wide smile on his face, holding Lucile in his hand, "Sorry to interrupt sir, but you left Lucile out by the truck"

"Really, Joseph, are you the only person left alive in this place, cause I can swear you are the only person I am seeing these days," Alice asked him.

A man turned to look at her, "what?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, looking down on the papers.

"Really?" Negan asked, " I never do that, I guess a kid firing a machine gun is a little bit of distraction. All joke aside" he looked at Carl, "you look rad as hell, I wouldn't cover that shit up, it may not be hit with the ladies, but I assure you do nobody will mess with you looking like that, no sir."

Alice stood up from the bed, going to the bathroom and deciding to take a quick shower, she had a feeling long day is ahead of them and she really wasn't in the mood to watch Joseph stumble around with words.

It took her not more than ten minutes to be done, hurrying up outside of the bathroom, just to see Negan standing in the middle of the room, swinging Lucile while Carl was singing. He came closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist with Lucile now hanging behind her and bringing his face closer to hers, as he started to slow dance with her around the room, singing along.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away " he leaned closer to her, kissing her cheek gently with a smile on his face.

As Carl stopped singing, he released her from his embrace, leaving one of his arms on her lower back and leading her towards the table, "that's pretty good kid," he smiled down at Carl.

"What do you think, doll."

"One: how long were I in that bathroom and two: yeah, it was really good, I could teach you how to play the guitar," she smiled down at the kid, her brother was about the same age as Carl when John started teaching him how to play.

"Well, that would be cool, wouldn't it Carl? My doll here is amazing with guitar and has a voice of angels, hahaha, you two could start a band," Negan leaned back, chuckling.

"Did you mom used to sing that to you?" Alice asked him, as she sat down on the table, "where is she now?"

Carl's face fell, she knew that demeanor, she knew it all too well, "shit, dead?", he just nodded.

"Did you, saw it happen?" she asked cautiously, she knew that the turf she is stepping on now has a slippery ground.

"I was the one that shot her before she could…"

"Shit," Alice looked up at Negan, he placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it. She now understood everything that kid has done by now, hell, she would probably be that kid if the circumstances back then were the same as they were now.

"Damn it," Negan tried to cut through the tension, "no wonder you are a little serial killer in the making."

Carl looked up at him, scowling.

"That was an example of breaking balls kid," he chuckled, "get up, it should be ready by now."

"What should be ready?" Carl shifted his eye between the pair.

"The iron!" Alice elated, as she stood up, taking Carl's hand and leading him out of the room, with Negan coming after them, swinging Lucile on his shoulder as he started whistling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't." ― Dylan Thomas

The hall was full, it looked like every person from the compound was there and probably was, the news about what was about to play out, spread like wildfire, everyone already knew what happened in this hall just a few days ago, now it's time for conclusion and there wasn't a person there who didn't want to witness it. It was like a live television show, the world has changed but not people, still hungry for gossip, for drama, for something to fill their empty days and quiet nights. The greater person was, the juicier the gossip got and in this world, Negan was the greatest one of all, their king and Alice his queen and the only person people in Sanctuary feared more than Negan. With him they knew what to expect, although to an outsider it looked like he did things randomly, people here knew, it was all written down in a strict set of rules, with already determined punishment for insubordination, but with Alice, no one ever knew what to expect, one day she will be with them in the hall smiling, playing her guitar and another day she would come back from some run, covered in blood or would scare someone shitless for one wrong word. Once she slapped one woman who dared to comment on how things were run around here and how unfair the pointing system was, since then no one dared to even think let alone say something negative about Negan, fearing she was right around the corner, listening. But other than that, she strangely ignored every comment she heard about her or hers relationship with their leader or her cruelty, brushing if off with a smile and a wink, almost like she enjoyed it. So they talked for days about what happened in this hall with Mark, about the way Negan acted, showing he is a man with fears and feelings for the first time, but even events like that would lose its magic after some time and now they were about to get another dose of drama and this time no one wanted to miss it and have to hear about it from someone else.

Daryl was standing near the chair where Mark was sitting, with his hand's tied behind his back, nervously shaking his leg, looking at Dwight, who was near the open furnace, holding the rod with iron on the other side, heating it up.

The sound of bat beating down on the rail echoed through the hall, in the moment everyone was on their knees, looking up at Negan, Alice and Carl as they were coming down the stairs.

Alice and Carl walked in front, keeping their pace while Negan was slowly slowing down, surveying the people gathered there, smiling at their numbers, the entire compound was there, everyone ready to sacrifice their points just to see how the traitors were dealt with, how the justice was served, rules complied by and order maintained and that fed his ego.

The second Alice and Carl reached to the bottom of the stairs and joined the group, not kneeling but proudly standing, he started his speech.  
"You all know what about to happen will be hard to watch," he began, "I don't wanna do it, I wish I could ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can't, why?"

"RULES KEEP US ALIVE," the crowd shouted and it made Alice smile, filling her with pride, she was a part of that union and as cruel they might look to the rest of the world, there at that moment they were one, they were community and they were the strongest on of all.

"That…is…right," Negan continued, "we survive, we provide the security to others, we bring civilization back to this world, we are the Saviors! But we can't do it without rules, rules are what make it all happened, I know it is not easy, but there is always work to be done, there is always a cost, here if you try to scurte it! If you try to cut that corner! Then it is an iron for you… on your feet."

Negan came down, "hold this for me? My doll and I have a lot of work to do," he turned to Carl, giving him Lucile before bringing his arm to rest on Alice's shoulders and leading her where Mark was.

Carl looked around the hall, he was surprised with amount of people that gathered there, it was almost as twice as many then in Alexandria, he saw Negan's ex-wives standing in the front row, wearing tight black dresses and consoling the blond woman who was crying her eyes out, then his eye drifted to Daryl who was holding a mop inside of the bucket of water, he only nodded at him, giving him a sign that he is ok. The sound of giggles turned his attention back to the center of the hall, where Negan and Alice were, she was bending down and looking at the man that was tied down to the chair.

"Haiiiiiiiiiii, Mark, long time no see. How's your little pecker doing," she gestured at his groins, "hope peeing was not too painful for you these past few days."  
Man didn't speak, just breathing through his teeth. "hahaha, well that will teach you not to stick it where it doesn't belong."

"D.. is it ready?" Negan turned to Dwight, pulling the big glove on his hand and taking the heated up iron from the rod.  
"Alice, doll, I need some space?"

"Oh, sorry, I was just trying to memorize how his face looks now," she hopped a step back, giving Negan enough room to maneuver. He was about to bring the Iron to Mark's face before he stopped and turned to her, tilting his head to the side, biting the tip of this tongue, smiling.

"Where are my fucking manners, doll, do you wanna do it?"

Alice looked at the iron and then at him, she really did want to do it, but she had her turn with Mark, it was time for Negan to get his payback and that was something she would never take away from him.

"Oh, I am flattered, but I think you deserve these honors"

"C'mon doll, I'm a gentleman."

"I know, but this lady already had her first turn."

"I know, doll," he wrapped his free arm around her, "but don't tell me you don't wanna do this now," he growled in her ear.

Alice was looking down at Mark, who was nervously shifting his eyes between the pair, " I do, I ain't gonna lie, but this is your turn on him, your payback," Alice leaned closer to Negan, gently stroking the tip of her nose through his beard, kissing his cheek gently.

"Well, I want to fucking share it with you, so wanna do this together?"

Alice nodded, biting her lip and taking the other glove from Dwight, before coming to stand at Negan's side, resting her hand over his, looking at him, her eyes glistening and wide smile stretching over her face, reaching her eyes, it made his insides tingle and his mouth move to mimic hers as his face turned red for blood running faster through his veins. He stared at her for a long moment, before shaking the feelings that were rushing over him and bringing himself back to reality and the problem they were dealing with, later he will let those feeling flow free, behind the security of their four walls and king size bed.

"I am sorry, Mark, but this is just the way it has to go," Negan spoke before bringing the iron to man's face.

The room was filled with screams of agony and scent of burning flesh; you could hear some people running out of the hall, probably to throw up. Negan took a step towards Alice, trying to avoid the pool of piss that was now forming on the floor.

Carl was petrified, looking at the iron, not being able to avert his eye as Negan pulled it away from Marks' face, he couldn't believe what he just witnessed, he looked around the hall, some people were disgusted, but most of them were observing the event with unnatural coldness.

Alice giggled, as Negan gave iron back to Dwight, "what's so funny doll?"

"Oh, nothing," Alice was looking down at now unconscious Mark, biting the tip of her index finger.

"C'mon doll, tell me," Negan whisper into her ear.

"This reminded me on when back before this shit, a bride and a groom would cut the wedding cake, that's all. I just found funny how things like that were now morbidly similar to things like this."

"Fucking shit, doll, you are sick," Negan chuckled, rubbing his beard, looking at Marks' face, Alice just glanced at him with wide eyes and a big smile on her face continuing to giggle.

"Fucking, Jesus, I love it," he pulled her closer, giving her a passionate kiss, not minding the crowd around them he couldn't resist the urge to touch her, to feel her and to kiss her. When they broke apart, Alices face was red, her lips swollen of the intensity his kiss and her eyes fuzzy, she blinked a few times trying to get a hold of herself and bring back the balance of her trembling feet. When she was sure she could stand properly, she left his embrace and bent down, to take a closer look at Mark's face.  
"I can tell you one thing, we are fucking artists, baby."

"That we are, doll, that we are," he turned to Carson "Doc, do your thing we are done here," the doctor came running to the man, feeling his pulse with other Savior untying his hands.

"He pissed himself," Alice looked disgusted.

"Daryl, clean that mess," Negan ordered, before coming to Carl and leaving the hall, with Alice at their heels.

ooo

Back at their room, Negan decided he needed a cold shower and left Alice in charge of babysitting Carl. She was cleaning her gun while sitting on the floor beside the bed, Carl was watching her for some time in silence, but with Alice's luck, those moments of silence never lasted long.

"Where did you learn to use the gun?"

"My father thought me, you?", she looked up.

"Same, after this happened."

"You're good, I mean for a kid, you still need more practice, more patience. But it will come with years," she smiled.

"I'm a good shot, " Carl glared at her his nostrils flaring.

"I didn't say you that you weren't good, but you aren't as good as you could be."

"My father was a police officer, I think he would know if there is anything else to teach me."

"There is: how to fight dirty, this is a dirty world kid and only the dirty players come on top."

"Like you and your boyfriend?"

"Oh, kid, you could never be like me and my "boyfriend" " she held out the quotation signs in the air, "and believe me, you should be grateful for that."

"What are you planning to do with me?"

"I ain't planning shit, kid."

"And you should be fucking grateful for that," they heard Negan's voice as he was going out of the bathroom, "knowing my doll, she wouldn't be as easy on you as I will."

He sat down on the sofa, across from Carl with a smirk on his face, taking a guard book, opening it up and starting to plan the shifts, Alice just shook her head, letting it fall down and going back to her gun.

It passed a long time before any of them spoke again, Alice was done cleaning her gun, just sitting on the floor, her legs folded trying to figure out what to do next, Josephs papers were still spread all over the bed but she didn't have any will or concentration to go through them again, she already found a solution all it needs now is a bit of polishing and her mind was racing in hundred different directions to be able to do that.

She went to her bookshelf, she could swear was becoming fuller with every passing hour, she knew Negan was the one bringing all those books from the library, she never actually caught him doing it or figure out when did he manage the time but lately even people that went out to do regularly scavaging trips were coming back with piles of new ones, the library becoming packed with everything your heart desired, from old repair magazines to encyclopedias. She wasn't sure what exactly brought that change but she liked it, so she didn't question it much.

"Can I wrap up my face now?" Carl finally decided to speak.

"No, you most absolute can...not."

"Why the hell not?!"

"hahaha, would you look at this bad ass," Alice joined the conversation, falling down on the sofa next to Negan with the book from the Hilltop in her hands.

"I told you he is a badass doll, didn't I."

"You sure did," she shook her head, opening the book and starting to read it, she was lost in it for a few moment when she felt Carl jumping up.

She reached for her gun, in one swift moment was on her feet, with him on the gun point.

"You should jump out the window to save me the trouble of killing you," he spoke to Negan not minding her at all.

"Easy there, kid," she growled.

"What you are going to shoot me?" Carl asked her. "You would love to do it wouldn't you, you would love to kill every single person who looks at your boyfriend the wrong way… but you won't, you can't… he won't let you," he pointed at Negan, who was laughing at the scene, clapping his hand and falling into the sofa.

"That's why he isn't telling me what he will do, that's why you are not telling me what he will do. You can't kill me because he can't, not me, not my dad, not Daryl. But if you knew us better, you would kill us, but you can't, because you two are full of shit, just two cowards hiding behind the act you put on and when it doesn't work, hiding behind each other."

"Oh, sweet Jesus," Alice started to laugh, lowering her gun. "Well 'boyfriend' what do we do now?"

Negan couldn't stop to laugh at the speech Carl just gave them, wiping his tears away and trying to catch his breath, "well, 'girlfriend' I don't fucking know. we could just keep him."

Alice's mouth fell open, her eyes widening and it was all he needed to start laughing again, pulling her down on the sofa and hugging her, "I'm just kidding doll, I have enough trouble controlling your murderous tendencies to have an adolescent you to deal with as well."

"Fuck you, Negan." She tried to pull away from him, but the more she struggled he was just holding her tighter, still laughing.

It took him few minutes to get around and collect himself, during which time Carl was still standing, not sure what is happening and Alice just going limp in his embrace as a sign of protest.

When he finally collected himself, releasing Alice with a long and loud kiss on her cheek, he looked up at Carl, grinning.

"Maybe your right, kid, maybe I can't, maybe that's why my doll can't," Negan clapped his hands getting up, " so let's just fucking go for a ride."

ooo

They were out in the back courtyard when to Alice's surprise the row of trucks was already waiting for them, with around twenty saviors ready to go.

"We are ready when you are, boss," Arat came to them, holding her rifle, ready to move.

"Good, my doll, Carl and I will take the green truck the rest of you follow behind us, let's move people," Negan gave them the order, whistling and making a circle in the air with his finger.

Not far away from the first truck was Dwight, waiting for them, with Daryl at his side, Negan walked past him, before turning around, "you look worried Daryl, so I just want you to know we are taking the kid back to his dad."

"If you do anything to him… I swear…"

"Dwight, take him to his box, he needs a bit cooling down," Alice was already standing in front of Negan giving an order to Dwight.

"We will speak when I come back," she growled at him, displeased with the threat's he was sending Negan's way. As he was dragged away, his eyes were glued to her waiting for some kind of reassurance they won't hurt Carl but she didn't turn around, just went around the truck, putting her glasses on and taking the drives seat, punishing him with doubts.

"Ready to move, doll."

"Yes, boss," she turned on the truck and started driving in the direction of Alexandria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please do note that English is not my first language and the main reason why I write in English besides of my love to tell stories and bigger audience to tell it to, is to practice it and get better at it. So if you see any errors I missed, please let me know so I can fix them. Thank you all, and enjoy :*


	5. Chapter 5

"So what we are just taking him back to Rick?" Alice asked Negan while they were marching towards Rick's house.

The ride to Alexandria was surprisingly smooth, without any road blocks or walkers standing on their way, the Saviors were already out and going around the community, collecting the payment when Alice and Negan left them to go find Rick.

"Take it as a peace offering. Hopefully, it will smoothen the process of our collaboration and make it more pleasant for both sides, not just us."

"Yeah, maybe it would work with reasonable people."

"My dad is reasonable," Carl intervene, scowling, in between the pair

"Sure he is, kid, sure he is," Alice did understand what Negan was trying to do here, but she didn't believe it would go the way he predicted it would.

When she met with people from Hilltop, they looked at Saviors with fear in their eyes, ready to deliver everything they asked for, while here in Alexandria she might as well be walking with a bull's eye on her back.

They were greeted with Olivia on the door if scowling and turning red can be called greeting.

"Where's Rick?" Negan was already in the house, looking around himself while casually holding Lucile.

"I…I… I just…"

"Dooooon't care, where's Rick?"

"He's out, scavenging for you…"

"Nice to know he is not scavenging for someone else," Olivia turned around to see Alice standing behind her back, her hands resting on her hips with a devious smile on her face.

"He…we…I mean."

"God, you are cute what you are scared," Olivia's head fell, turning around trying to avoid Alice's stare.

"Good thing my doll likes you because we will wait here, for your fearless leaders return."

"He… he's gone really far… he may not come back today. We're running really low one everything, we are practically starving here. "

"Starving… you…"Negan scanned the woman from head to toe, "By practically, you mean not really."

In a moment woman started crying, turning away from both of them, burying her face in her hands. Negan was at lost, running his hand over his face, trying to figure out what to do next.

"Really?" Alice smiled, "Really? You mean, mean man, you made this poor thing cry."

She came closer to woman, tapping her back, "there, there, he didn't mean that…"

"These people don't have a fucking sense of humor, doll."

Alice just shook her head, smiling, bending down a bit trying to catch Olivia's eyes.

"Don't cry… we can make it better," Alice side eyed Negan, winking, coming to his side and taking him away from Olivia and Carl, whispering something into his ear that made him chuckle.

"Yes, we surely fucking can…" he swiftly took Olivia's shoulder turning her around to face him.

"Listen…." and he was at lost again, "I mean, listen…. the fuck is her name, doll," he leaned back, turning to Alice, with a wide smile stretching across his face.

"Olivia," Alice was barely keeping her act together as she was coming to stand behind woman again, biting her lower lip and surveying her with a wolfish grin on her face.

"Yes… listen, Olivia. I am sorry for being so rude to you just now, my doll here has shown me the error of my ways," he rested his hand on his chest, bowing his head down, waiting for a few moments for his apology to settle down, before lifting his head, looking at woman, his lips shut tight, taking a deep breath in, "it looks like we are going to stay here for a while, my doll thinks and I fucking agree, that it would be pleasurable for the both of us… and you, to screw your brains out, we are really good."

"Of course, if you are agreeable to it," Alice whispered into woman's ear.

In a moment, Olivia stopped crying, wiping her nose with the tip of her shirt sniffing before looking up at Negan and then slightly turning her head to the side to look at Alice who was resting her chin on her shoulder, before planting the back of her hand onto Negan's face, slapping him so hard he almost made entire circle around himself..

"Ouch, that looked painful," Alice whistled, taking woman's shoulder and turning her so they could be face to face, "so you like it rough, never would have thought."

Olivia tried to back away from her, only to bump into something else, she looked up and it was Negan, looking down at her.

"Just so you know, I am about fifty percent more into the idea now. What do you think doll?"

"I would love to see how she is when turned on, I bet she's a wildcat. You, my dear, are something" Alice ran her hand slowly over woman's cheek, caressing her, "Saint on the surface but so hungry for earthly sins, aren't you?"

Olivia felt trapped, standing between the pair, as Alice brought her face only inches away from hers, "Offer stands if you change your mind, but don't slap him again simple 'no' or 'yes' will do just fine."

A woman didn't speak, she didn't even breath, her face turning read as they were squeezing her with their bodies, and just like that, in a second they both backed away acting like nothing happened.

"All right, I am just going to put my feet up and wait for my stuff to get here. Olivia, please be a lamb and make us some lemonade out of that powdery stuff I left you last time."

It didn't take her more than a minute to run out of the house, slamming the doors behind her.

"Fuck, I can't get lucky today," Alice spat.

"You think we took it to far, dear?" Negan came behind her, locking his hands around her waist, brushing her hair away from her neck and grazing his lips softly against her neck, pressing his lean body against her. Alice let her head fall back over his shoulder, with a wide smile on her face, looking up at the ceiling.

"Nah, I am sure she knows we were just joking around."

"You think."

"I am positive," Alice turned to kiss him, "I am going to check on our supplies, be back in ten."

"And I am going to stay here and wait for Rick the prick to show up, if you happen to see him, tell him to hurry up."

"I will," Alice she was reluctant to leave his arms, but there was work to be done and she wanted it done as soon as possible.

She saw Arat standing near the front porch, "You will keep guard here?"

A woman just nodded, and it was enough to put Alice's mind at ease.

ooo

Alice, though she would take a look around the community, last time she was here everything was still new and fresh to her, now it would be a good time for scouting the area, but the feeling place was giving her was unnerving, she didn't know what it was about, but every time she was here or even close, the unpleasant sense of dread was washing over her and her legs had a mind of their own, leading her towards the gates.

Good thing Arat stayed close to Rick's house, so at least that was one thing that didn't beat down on her right now, although to her knowledge that was the only thing that should be beating down on her, Negan's safety was the only thing she should be concerned, and still this place made her feel like there were hundred and one things she should worry about, it felt like every house was screaming at her, every tree weight her down with its own problems and her being the only one with an answers.

"I fucking hate this place," she mumbled.

At the gate she saw Gary and Laura unloading the supplies from a car with the man she remembers from the gates first time they came around, she decided to join them.

"Is that a fucking bow?" Garry heard from across the yard.

"It is," he handed it to her as she approached.

"Wow, this is some neat shit, you found it?" she turned to the man, who was covered with dirt and blood.

"Yes, that's all me."

Alice took one of the arrow and drew the bow, aiming, "this is a good bow, not as good as mine but still. It would be fun to teach one of you to shoot."

"I'll pass," Laura and Gerry said in unison, turning back to the supplies.

Alice frowned "what? Are you saying I am a bad teacher?"

"Alice, you shouted at a woman few day ago because she was walking too slowly in front of you while you were unloading the truck."

"Me, she shouted at me," Laura scowled.

"You make me sound like a bad person in front of a stranger."

"You are not a bad person Alice, but you are not the most patient person either," Garry patted her back.

"And you don't have to be a stranger," Laura turned to look at the man, "if you keep this up, who knows, maybe I'll show you where I live, maybe buy you a sandwich."

Alice snorted at that, shaking her head and turning to Garry to look at the rest of supplies.

"just say when and I'll be there."

"You like watching haircut?" Laura shouted, making Alice look up just to see a man with wired haircut looking their way.

"Yes, I mean no."

"Beat it," Laura chased him away, winking at the man that was standing at her side and going back to unloading the supplies.

Man left them, strolling back to his home, happy with all the praises he received.

"Really, buy his a sandwich? Is that what it is called nowadays? The ultimate aphrodisiac, pickle sandwich." Alice teased Laura...

"Fuck you, Alice, not all of us can sleep with the king and eat a caviar off his dick."

"We have caviar?" Alice looked at Garry who just smiled, shaking his head.

"You know what I mean." Laura chuckled.

"I know, but it doesn't mean you have to fuck the jester."

"Can you two have a single conversation that sounds appropriate for general public." Garry intervened.

"Noooo, Is this?" Alice took a jar that inspecting it, "powdered lemonade, fuck, this shit is everywhere."

"So how is it?" Laura bumped her shoulder.

"What? This shit? Gross, I don't get why Negan loves it."

"Noo, you fool, I mean how is it, you know, to fuck the king."

"Hahahaha, oh I don't kiss and tell, I'm a lady."

"Never would have thought from the sounds coming from your room last night."

"Quit skulking around our room past midnight. In the matter of fact quit skulking around any bodies room past midnight."

"And what should I do?"

"Fucking sleep Laura," Alice patted her back, "I'll be going now. Let me know if any of you change your mind about those lessons."

ooo

Alice checked few other supplies trucks, it was a tedious and boring job, something Simon would always do, but Simon was not with them today so the task fell on her. After a few checkups she assigned Garry to watch the unloading and packing the goods and she decided to go back and see what was Negan up to.

She was close to Ricks house when she saw Negan and Carl sitting on the front porch, with Negan cradling a baby.

"What the fuck did you do and who's child is that?" Alice couldn't believe her eyes, he shaved his beard, he actually went along and shaved his beard.

"Look, doll, I got us a baby."

"Ah-a," Alice didn't even look at the child sleeping on Negan's chest, "Where the fuck is your beard?"

"You like it?" he grinned up at her.

"I…I…" she cocked her head slightly to one side, bringing her hand to his cheek and caressing it, "I.. don't fucking know, it's different."

"I look younger don't I?"

"You look like a fucking teenager, good thing this world is how it is or I would be arrested," Alice teased him, she did like how he looked now, but it was, different.

"Well look at my fucking smooth talker here."

"I learn from the best."

"Are you hungry doll?"

"I could eat a fucking horse."

"Well then, something has to be fucking done about it," Negan stood up, giving her a baby, "I saw some spaghetti in the kitchen. Let's make launch and surprise your dad," he turned to Carl leading him back into the house.

Alice followed after them holding a child awkwardly in her arms, "and what am I supposed to do with this?"

"With what, doll?" Negan turned around.

"Well, this," she held a child in his direction.

"Well, I don't fucking know, play with it."

"It's not a fucking ball, Negan."

"I'll take her," Olivia came, taking a child away from Alice with a look full of judgment.

In not more than an hour the neat kitchen that looked like it has never been used before looked like a battle ground, with floor and sauce everywhere.

They set the table, with everyone taking their seat's, the aroma's made Alice's stomach growl and mouth water.

"Are we going to eat?", she looked at Negan.

"We will wait for Rick to return then we will eat, doll, it's fucking rude not to wait and we are not a rude people."

"Well it's rude to be so late as well," she scowled, locking her arms over her chest pouting.

They all waited in silence, for what it looked like, eternity, Negan was humming some tune, Olivia putting Judith to sleep and Carl silently looking down.

"Ok, where the fuck is Rick?", Alice was one to break the silence, she was losing her patience.

"Well, I don't fucking know where he is, but I ain't waiting for him anymore, my doll is hungry and I am famished as well. Carl, pass the bread," Negan spoke, making Alice jump in her seat with excitement.

They finished their lunch, and while Olivia and Carl were cleaning up the mess, Negan was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch, with Alice in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.

"This is really a nice place, doll, what do you think?"

"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders.

"We could move here one day, you know, life in suburbs, big white house with garden. Have a barbecue with neighbors every Sunday, maybe make two brats of our own so they could run around, one boy so you could teach him how to shoot and one girl so I can spoil her. "

Alice tensed, straightening up and looking at him, "you are joking, right?"

Negan frowned, "what? That sound too fucking normal for you? You don't want a quite life, fucking normal life for once?"

"It's not that."

"Then what the fuck is it, doll, I don't get it. If you don't like this place, well fuck, we will find another one just like this."

"It's not that I don't want to…"

"Then what the actual fuck is it?"

"It's that I can't."

"Can't what?"

Alice opened her mouth to talk, when they heard Arat's voice, "I told you, you can't see him."

They went out, to find her fighting with the same man Alice saw on the gate's, earlier that day, he was clean now, wearing a plain gray shirt, with his hair combed back and holding a half full bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"Don't be an asshole Arat, let the man in," Negan chuckled, "look doll, we are getting a drink."

"Good, I fucking need it," Alice let out a heavy sigh.

"Hi, I'm Spencer, " man approached them with a smile, extending his hand to Negan.

"Well, nice to fucking meet you, Spence, do come in."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd - The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world's existence. All these half-tones of the soul's consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are." ― Fernando Pessoa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

Negan led the man to the porch while Alice went to fetch the glasses when she came out the two men were sitting in silence, Negan obviously amused with how uncomfortable Spencer looked.

"Are we having fun yet, boys?" Alice smiled, bringing the glasses to the table and filling them with the liquor.

"I do fucking hope we are getting there, doll," Negan took her hand, swinging her around and bringing her to sit on his lap. Spencer smiled at them over the edge of his glass while taking a sip of his drink.

Alice wasn't so fancy, she drank the entire glass in one gulp.

"God damn it, this is a good stuff."

"Easy there, doll, you are supposed to be the sober driver."

"Don't worry about me, boss."

"You're not the one I fucking worry about, I need to get home in that truck. Unless…" he turned to Spencer.

"The air condition, house warming gift, that settles it I am getting us a vacation home here."

Alice frowned, part of her knew Negan was just joking around, but the other part of her, the annoying part, felt that there were hints of truth in his statements. Part of him wanted everything he said to her and it was unsettling to know that she will never be able to give it to him, no matter how eagerly she wanted to, that was one thing she could never give to him, a man she would conquer the entire world for.

"You know what would make this day even better, a pool table," Negan voice brought her back to reality, and she couldn't help but giggle, thinking about Simon.

"What the fuck is so funny doll?"

"Nothing, just thinking how Simon would be enthusiastic about the game of pool."

Negan arched his brows, not sure what she is talking about.

"Actually, the house across the street has a pool table in the garage," Spencer finally spoke.

"Really," Negan couldn't hide his surprises, "you Spencer might just be my new best friend."

"So, up for a game of pool doll?"

"Hmmm," Alice wrinkled her nose, looking up at the sky, "the day is too nice to be scoped up inside of the garage, don't you think?"

"I totally fucking agree with you, doll," Negan smiled, biting the tip of his tongue. "Lucky for you, your man is one smart guy. I have an idea. Come with me."

Negan led Alice and Spencer outside, leaving them to stand on the street while he was talking with a two of his men few feet's away.

"Didn't know you are so highly ranked," Spencer turned to Alice.

She looked at him, frowning, "it's not yours to know."

"Fair play," man gave her a smile.

"We are all fair players; you and your people just need to learn how to play the game."

"I think I got a good hang of it, by now."

Alice snorted, "we'll see."

The garage doors opened, and few of their man took the pool table out on the street, Negan arranged the balls and broke them, instantly getting two balls inside. He straightened up, looking at Alice with a smug expression on his face.

"Looks like you're not the only one here with the sharp aim, doll."

Alice smirked, keeping her arms locked on her chest, "next one you play against me, big guy," she bumped him with her hip.

"Big guy, I love the nickname, doll," he chuckled before going back to the game.

"I could never do this with Rick," Negan turned to Spencer, walking around the table, "he would just be standing there, scowling."

"That's what I came to talk to you about."

"Well this should be interesting," Alice mumbled.

"Alright, talk to me Spencer," Negan hit the balls, "talk to me about Rick."

"I get what you are trying to do here, not that I agree with your methods, but I get it. You're building a network, making people contribute to a greater good, makes sense. But you should know, Rick Grimes has a history of not working well with others."

"Is that so," Alice could hear how Negan voice got darker.

"Rick wasn't the original leader here, my mom was, she was doing a really good job at that. She died not long after Rick showed up, same with my brother, same with my dad."

"Sooo, everything was peachy here, for like what years and then Rick shows up and suddenly you're an orphan," he turned around to look at Alice, stories like this would usually get a reaction out of her, but something about this one didn't move her. She was holding her arms locked on her chest, leaning on one foot and smirking, scanning Spencer from head to toe.

"That the saddest story I ever heard," he smiled, "good thing for you, Rick is not in charge anymore."

"Doesn't matter, his ego is out of the control, he will try to find a way to screw things up, to do things his way, to take over. That's what he did with my mom, that's what he will do again."

"What exactly are you proposing to be done about that?"

"I am my mother's son, I can be a leader she used to be, that's what this place needs, that what you need."

"So I should just put you in charge? That's what you're saying?"

"You'd be much better off."

Negan looked down, running his finger over his brow, glancing at Alice who was now holding one of her knives and playing with it, acting completely uninterested in the story.

"I'm thinking Spencer, I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts, but he is out there right now, gathering shit for me, to make sure I don't harm any of these fine people that live here. He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done, that takes guts, " Negan looked down at the table, bending down and hitting the balls, with both his and a white one falling in the hole.

"And then there's you," he smiled, pointing at Spencer while coming closer to him, "the guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he can sneak over and talk to me, get me to do his dirty work so he can take Ricks place."

Alice felt where this is going, taking a step closer to Negan, as he continued to advance towards Spencer.

"So I gotta ask; if you want to take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over."

"What..no….no… I don't," Negan held his finger up, shushing the man.

"You know what I'm thinking because I have a guess," he was not up in man's face, "it's because you got no guts."

And before anyone was the wisest, Negan pulled his hunting knife out of his belt and stabbed the man in his stomach, slashing him open.

Everyone gasped, even Alice was surprised, as Spencer looked down, holding his insides trying to prevent them for fallout out before stumbling on his knees and falling down on the ground, still alive.

"There they are," Alice came at Negan's side, looking down at the dying man with the cold look in her eyes.

"They were inside of him the whole time," Negan smiled, "he did have guts. I have never been so wrong in my entire life!" he yelled, glancing around the community and at all the people that gathered there, grinning like Cheshire cat.

He took Lucile from the side of the table, "someone, get up here and clean this mess up," he gave an order, but no one moved, no one even looked at him, everyone's eyes were glued to the now dead man on the ground.

"Oh, anyone wants to finish the game," he held Lucile up, pointing her in the direction of the group, "c'mon I was winning."

"Doll, you wanna start a new one, just to be fair?" he turned to Alice, holding Lucile in front of himself.

"Well…" and before Alice could even finish her sentence, one woman from the group, Alice remembered as Rosita, pulled out the gun and pointed it at Negan.

Alice looked in her direction and in that moment it felt like time has stopped, no sound except the gunfire, no one moving except the bullet, Alice turned her head, Negan was still looking at her, grinning, her smile slowly disappeared, turning into a scream, as she jumped to tackle him away from the bullet.

But she was too slow, she heard the bullet hitting something close to her, she looked down at Negan who was lying beneath her, not sure what's happening, she was looking at him for what it felt like eternity with buzzing sound filling her ears, ' _why the hell is everything moving so slow'_ , he blinked three times, with no expression of pain appearing on his face, she started tapping her hand all over him, fearing she will feel the warm and read liquid at any moment, but she didn't, it was a sign, he was not hit and in that moment time started running again.

Alice jumped up, running into Rosita, tackling her down and wrapping her hands around her throat, strangling her.

"Alice, stop," the sound of Negan voice was muffled with the buzzing in her ears.

"Alice, get off her," again his voice, it sounded so far, almost like premonition

"Alice…" she didn't obey him, keeping her eyes on her prey, squeezing her hands tighter.

She felt a pair of hands on her, trying to pull her away, but the more they pushed her the more her grip tightened, holding onto woman's throat as if her life was depending on it.

"Shit, Arat, fucking help me," Negan order Arat, "fucking shit, how can one woman be so strong! Alice, snap out of it!".

Alice felt another pair of hands on her, pulling her away, in that moment Negan face was in front of her, his hand on her shoulders.

"Alice, look at me," he took her chin and lifted her head.

"Alice, fucking look at me!", her green eyes were almost black, it was like she wasn't there, "Alice, let her go, now!"

"She shot you," Alice growled, not letting go.

"Alice, that's an order, let her fucking go! FUCKING NOW!"

Her grip loosen a bit, letting woman breath again, but her hands didn't move from her neck.

"Good girl," Negan placed his hand on her cheek, "now let her go."

"She shot you," Alice whispered.

"I know, doll, please let her go."

Alice shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "she shot you," she wept.

"I know doll, but I'm ok, not let her go, we will handle this, together."

Alice looked down at the woman, her face had no remorse to be seen, it was almost like she was daring her to finish what she started, almost begging her to do it.

But she took her hands away from her throat, scanning Negan, trying to find a bullet hole again, but there was none to be seen.

He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her up.

She was up on her feet in a second, not once letting her gaze leave Rosita, still lying down on the road.

"She shot Lucile," Alice turned to Negan who was bending down and taking bat from the road where he ditched it to get her away from the woman. He was looking down at the bat, with lines of his face hardening.

"She fucking shot Lucile!" he was furious, bringing bat close to the woman and swinging it up in the air. When it looked like he will hit her, Alice called for him.

"Negan, look at this," she was holding a bullet case in her hand, turning it around, examining it.

He turned to look at her, displeased with the interruption, "what the fuck is it?

"This bullet, it is not right."

"What the fuck do you mean it's not right?" he came closer to her.

"See this," she pointed at the bottom of the case, "this is not something that is massively produced before, this shit is home made. Someone here knows how to make it."

They glanced around the community, everyone was confused, looking at one another.

"Arat, bring that knife to her face," Negan ordered.

"Lucile's surface will never be smooth again, so why should yours? ", he brought bat close to Rosita's face, showing the bullet hole, "now unless you tell me who made this pretty little thing, I will have Arat cut that pretty face."

Alice was surveying the people around them, trying to figure out who is the manufacturer.

"It was me," the woman spoke.

Alice looked down on her, there was no way in hell it was here, "she's lying," was all she said before turning her attention back to the rest of the community.

"Is that fucking so," Negan was having enough of it, "you shot Lucile trying to kill me, and now you are lying to me! Tell me who the fuck made this shit!"

"It…was…me," woman lifted her head, bringing her cheek close to Arat's knife, scaring it.

"Wooow. You are a bad ass," Negan smiled, "but I don't have fucking time for this. Arat, kill someone."

In one swift movement, Arat pulled out her gun and shot Olivia who was standing on the porch with Carl. Alice was impressed, it was one clean shot, she arched her brow at her, smiling and giving her an approving nod.

Everyone gaped, not believing what just happened, Alice looked down at the Rosita, now standing right above her head, "you really ought to learn how this shit work's."

At that moment Rick came, with a badly beaten man leaning on him, he passed him on to one of the residents of Alexandria before looking around himself, bemused, Spencer lying sliced opened on the ground and Olivia lying dead on the porch.

"We had an agreement!" he came to Negan.

"Doll, look, it's Rick, look everybody it's Rick," Negan cheered, "your people are making me lose my voice doing all this yelling."

"Rick, how about a thank you," Negan leaned closer, as Rick was turning around himself, still not believing what he is seeing.

"I mean look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends and that's why we won't be seating around the fire braiding each other's hair or share each other's deepest, darkest secrets, but how about a little credit, I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am. Your kid he hid in one of my truck and machined gun bunch of my men and I brought him home safe and sound and I fed him spaghetti."

Alice had a hard time keeping herself not to burst out in laughter at his last sentence.

"Another one of your people," Negan continued, "well he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge, I took him out for you. Another one, here" Negan pointed at Rosita, "she shot Lucile, trying to kill me, so I gave you one mouth less to feed and by looking at her, that mouth did some major damage. I personally wouldn't pick her, but I don't fucking know, Arat didn't trust her."

Rick looked around himself again, trying to process everything that Negan just told him, "your shit is waiting for you out by the gate. Just go."

"No, not yet," Alice took a few long steps, pushing Rick away from Negan and standing in between them, "someone made this shit and almost got Negan killed," she was up to Rick's face, "who did it?"

Negan smiled at the scene, not that he would ever say it out loud but he loved this side of Alice, he let his head fall and scratched the tip of his nose, leering at Rick, "I would listeeeeen to her, Rick. She is not as half reasonable as I am."

"Who made this bullet?" Alice was holding the case right in front Rick's eyes.

"I don't know," he growled.

"I don't fucking believe you," she took a step closer to him, taking her Eagle out and pointing it at one of the residents of Alexandria, she didn't even look who, it didn't matter.

"It was me," one woman from the group stepped up.

"She's lying," Alice didn't even look at her, lifting her gun up and giving them a warning shot, she had enough of their games for she knew who she was looking and it was a male. But she didn't know who exactly is it.

"It…was…me," the weeping sound came from behind them, Negan and Alice turned to the source, the man with weird hair cut she saw at the gate was standing there, crying his eyes out.

"It was me…"

Negan turned to Alice, who was smiling at the man, "now that's our guy," she cocked her eyebrow at Negan, happy this charade game was over.

"That our guy…" Negan pointed at the man, "you fucking sure doll."

"Yes, Daryl told me a few days ago about one of those fucking geniuses from past is still alive and kicking, living here." Alice looked at Rick, gloating with his reaction to her last sentence.

Negan took a few long steps toward the man, bringing Lucille to his nose, tilting his head, "I am not fucking convinced doll."

The man closed his eyes, not being able to look at Negan directly, and started describing the process he used. He was talking fast, incoherent and not one of them understood half the things he blurted out.

Negan laughed, "Alright, I believe you."

He turned around, looking down at the bullet pierced bat, clenching his jaw and knitting his eyebrows, he was there but it looked he wasn't, his eyes darkening, closing shut as he brought bat up to his nose, "Lucile, give me strength," he growled.

"I will be relieving you of your bullet maker, Rick," he slowly twisted around to face Rick, "that and whatever you left me at the front gate and however much you scavenge, it is not good enough because you are still in serious, serious hole after today."

He was hurt, he was disappointed and he was angry, it surprised Alice he just let things slide this easily, it was obvious he was barely controlling himself, one wrong move, one wrong word and he would snap, killing everyone around him, the fact he didn't do it already, spoke magnitude about how he didn't want to hurt anyone else.

Alice took a few steps closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, he looked at her, bleary-eyed, his head sagged, she could see it, he was exhausted, broken, and pretty much done playing this game, but it was not over, they were still in the enemy territory and until they cross those gates he would need to keep a mask of the fearless leader on, all she could do now is make it easier on him. One the end it was all she could generally do, share a piece of his burden maybe take it all from time to time, but never carry it for him all the way.

"Alight, you heard the man, let's move out!"

She gave an order, which made him smile a bit in relieve, gathering the last ounce of strength, turning to Rick, "I ain't gonna lie to you, Rick, your kitchen is a god damn mess," he laughed, "I'll see you next time."

Saviors started to move, pushing Eugene in from of them, as they turned to leave, sent off by Rosita's cries and pleads to take her and leave him alone, but no one heeded her prays.

Alice looked down at her, shaking her head, "learn the rules of this game before you decide to play it."

Rosita shot her a glare, "I will get you for this," she spat.

Alice crouched down, smiling, "and I will be waiting for you."

ooo

_**Meanwhile at the Sanctuary:** _

Daryl was alone in his cell, resting his head again the cold wall, his mind running in hundred different directions, 'where is Carl?', 'is he ok', 'will Negan and Alice keep him safe,' hundred different questions not one good answer.

He tried to milk out a bit of reassurance from Alice before they left for Alexandria, but she was mad at him for crossing the line again, a line she didn't let anyone cross as many times as he did and still live.

'Will this be the last time she will forgive him?' , 'was this where she will turn her back on him and stop carrying how other people treated him?' , 'was this the end of their friendship?'.

He let out a resentful sigh, turning his head around, "what the hell do I care even if it is?" he berated himself. It was then when he heard light footsteps approaching the door and saw a note being swept under the door into his cell.

He took it, unsure what it was, turning it around and seeing a key glued on the back of it, he opened the note with only two words written down on it, "GO, NOW."

He couldn't believe his eyes, the key, this is a key to his freedom, his chance to get away, his chance to make everything right, his chance for revenge. But how can he be sure this is not just another trap, another test, another punishment. How can he be sure Alice is not on the other side of the door, waiting for him to fail again, waiting to deliver the final punishment, waiting to escort him out of this world, with knives in her hands and a smile on her face.

But then again, there were worst ways to go nowadays, right.

He was hesitating for a long moment, he was never a person who is scared easily so the thought of him being punished was not something that would hold him down, but if it wasn't that then what it was? He shook away the feeling that came creeping to him, 'Maybe he didn't want to leave, maybe he didn't want to leave her,' that's just bullshit, he needs to get his revenge, to stop Negan for hurting more of his people, to find a way to kill him, he needs to do it for Glen and Abraham.

He stood up, reaching for a door knob, where the familiar voice crept back to his head, "what are you doing bad boy," he turned around but there was no one there.

"Are you hungry? I will get you something to eat" again the familiar giggle and the image of her smile.

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes, she was not there, she couldn't be there, she left for Alexandria with Negan, but if she was not there then why is he hearing her, is he losing his mind. He started hitting his head with his fist, trying to chase her voice away but to no avail.

"If you continue this way, I will have to kill you and I don't want to do it, man, I really don't, but I won't flinch if It comes to that. You will be my first kill I never wanted to make," her long said words hit him like a stone, he pulled away from the door, back to the other side of his cell.

Where in the dark, images of his fallen friends came to him, the screams of pain, the gore flying all around, Lucile drenched with the brains of people he once called brothers.

He shook himself out of this thoughts, he was losing his precious time debating over something that was decided a long time ago, one of them will die, he or she, there was no way around that, she knows it, he knows it. He reached for a knob again, sliding the key inside and unlocking the door, shooting the memories of her down, leaving them in the cell he hoped he will never see again.

He was out in the hallway, looking around for the guardsman, but there was none to be seen, all he heard was a murmur of voice coming from one of the rooms, at the end of the hall. He slowly walked to it, glancing inside to see a group of men sitting around the table, surrounded by the cloud of smoke, playing poker. Apparently when Negan, Alice or Simon, weren't around this is how this place was managed.

He ran pass the door and slipped inside one of the rooms on the right, he was out of his breath, adrenaline rushing over him, he looked around the room, only to see it belonged to Dwight.

He couldn't believe his luck, he started trashing it down, letting all his bottled up anger out, punishing the room for every bruise, every push every shove, every bad word and every sleepless night Dwight gave him. He took jeans and a shirt out of his closet, slipping them on and leaving.

He was on his way out when he passed by the room he knew was meant for him, the room that was to be his prize for a good behavior, a prize he will never claim, he almost left it alone, almost, but something pulled him in. He opened the door and looked at the bed and there it was, neatly folded on the pillow, Alice's gift for him, Harley-Davidson hoody, he quickly ran inside, grabbed it and pulled it on before turning around and slamming the doors shot.

He was out of the factory, at the same place he was the last time, near the same row of bikes, he turned around himself, panicking, waiting for Alice to show up, but she never came, instead of her, the man that was looking out for him when Dwight walked towards him, eating a sandwich.

A man looked at him, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping open, with pieces of uneaten bread fallout out.

"Whoooa, whoooa,", a man raised his hands, "it's cool man, I swear, you can walk right out that back gate there and I won't say anything to anybody.. I was supposed to be there now.. I….listen… I am just trying to get by."

Not knowing why, Daryl swung the lead pipe he found in Dwight room and started bashing the man's head in, he was out of himself, he was tortured, he was left alone for hours, and the only person coming to visit him was the same person that will soon want him dead. He was sick of it all, of this world, of the way people are, everything about this was wrong, the images of all people he lost coming to him: his brother, Beth, Glenn, Abraham and finally not knowing why Alice, all of them smiling, as if they were mocking his actions.

He was brought out of his delirium with someone calling out his name, the unfamiliar voice, someone who was not a wraith of his memories.

He turned around to see Jesus, petrified and looking down at the man lying on the ground, with his head smashed to the unrecognizable state. Daryl looked down as well, "It ain't just about getting by...It's about getting it all."

He took keys from the man's belt, snapping Jesus out of his thought as they both sat down on one of the bikes and drove away.

ooo

When they were in the truck and away from Alexandria, Negan let his guard down, looking at Lucile resting on his lap, "she shot Lucile," he whispered.

Alice looked at him, he was caressing the smooth surface of bat only to stop at the bullet hole and make tiny circles with his finger around the edge of it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in, still fighting his urge to kill everyone in the proximity.

Alice started flashing the backlights signaling the rest of convoy to stop; she took a radio and turned it on, "we are taking a ten-minute break, the rest of you go ahead we will catch you back at the base, over and out."

Negan didn't even notice they stopped, lost in his world.

"You are tired," Alice placed her hand on his cheek, he leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

"No, I'm fine," he let out a heavy sigh, giving her a weak smile.

"You know, it's ok not to be fine."

"I know, doll," he rubbed his eyes intensively, chasing away the tiredness and the tears. He knew it was stupid to fuss so much about the ordinary bat, but he couldn't help himself, it was not the bat it was a symbol, now that symbol was desecrated and it was not during the fight or in the midst of battle, but on a peace treaty mission. On a mission where all he wanted was to try and show everyone that they are good people, not monsters, they are people that survive using ruthless methods but still are capable of mercy when needed, just like everyone else.

Alice wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning closer to him and hugging him as tightly as she could, running her hand up and down his back while the other one was in his hair.

"It's ok not to be fine," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

He leaned into her embrace, bringing his arms around her and squeezing her as close as he could to himself, burying his face into the crook of her neck. He didn't speak, just holding her like that, breathing heavily. Alice didn't know was he crying or not, hesitant to part away from him and see, not like it was important anyway, this was her sharing his burdens.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But the wild things cried, "Oh please don't go - we'll eat you up - we love you so!"  
> And Max said, "No!"  
> The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye." ― Maurice Sendak

They sat in the truck for half an hour, not speaking, Alice was holding Negan in her arms, he didn't let go of her entire time, breathing heavily, when all of the sudden he parted away from her, rubbing his eyes again and smiling.

"We should go doll, I want to be the one to greet our newest resident."

"You sure you're up for that today," she placed her hand on his shoulder, knitting her eyebrow together, tilting her head to the side, concurred about him, he didn't look like he was equipped to deal with more stress today.

"We could just keep him in the cell overnight, then tomorrow you can deal with him."

"No, doll, it won't be much of a stretch, I will just greet him and pass him on to one of our people to show him around."

Alice nodded, a smile finally creeping back to her face, his plan was sensible and he was correct it won't be much of the stretch for him to do that one little thing more today.

"And we can hope his presence will soften Daryl a bit, maybe he can make him come to his senses," the idea just came to Alice's mind, Eugene didn't look like much of a threat and maybe his presence there will have more benefits than downsides.

"We can fucking try, doll," Negan gave her his signature side smirk, which always made her heart skip and legs tremble.

"So then, let me take you home, my dear sir," she smiled with a wink, reaching for radio and giving the orders to the rest of their man, "we are up and back on the road people, wait for us before releasing the prisoner. Over."

"Understood." They heard Laura's voice on the other side, "hope you had a nice time Alice, maybe share few details with me, now that I lost my chance of getting lucky. Over."

Negan chuckled at this, he was not used to seeing this side of his people often, they were always reserved around him, loosening up only when drunk.

He took a radio from Alice's hand, "Sorry, but that information is classified, Laura. Over."

"Shit, shit, shit," they heard Laura swearing on the other side and Gary laughing, "I fucking forgot he is there, shit, shit, shit."Laura continued forgetting to turn off the radio, making Alice and Negan lose it, starting to laugh like mad people.  
"Ugh, sorry, boss, Over and out."

Alice smiled, "Nice job, Laura. See you back home, over and out."

"You just got me in a shit pile of trouble, you know that right?" she turned to Negan, pulling her eyebrow together and glaring at him, with only her smile giving her away.

"Oh, don't worry dear, I'll find a way to keep her busy until she forgets all about this incident," his eyes lit and the corners of his mouth turned up, reaching his eyes, showing his pearly white teeth.

Alice knew then, he had something on his mind, and she knew then, she is going to love it and Laura won't. Shaking her head, she turned on the truck and started driving in the direction of Sanctuary, he looked better now, ready to see this day through, hopefully, all the surprises are behind them.

ooo

They were at the sanctuary not long after the rest of their man, Alice was driving like a mad woman, wanting to get this day over as soon as possible, go to their room and rest. She needed it, Negan needed it.

The group of saviors mostly the generals and top guard were waiting for them, with Eugene still in the truck with a black bag over his head and his hands tied together in front of him, you could hear him still crying as he shook in his seat.

Alice looked inside, surveying him from head to toe, it was obvious he wasn't one of the strongest people she saw, but he survived this long, so he probably had skills that made up for what his body lacked and skills like that would be very useful to them; it was easy to find raw strength nowadays but pure intellect now that was something almost extinct. Negan came behind her, looking at the shaking man, letting out a dark chuckle.

"He isn't what I expected him to be," Alice mumbled underneath her chin.

"Well, doll, talent comes in all shapes and sizes," he bumped his shoulders on hers, giving her a dirty wide smirk.

She scanned him from head to toe, raising her eyebrow and pulling the side of her mouth all the way up to her eyes, "we'll you will have to show me more examples than this one."

"You say where and when" he teased her.

She bit down her lower lip, sending him a flirtatious look as she turned around, ready to give orders to the men gather there, but before she could even open her mouth, tall, bearded Savior came running, she didn't know his name only saw him around the Sanctuary few times, she knew he was a part of Simon's scouting group but not much else, his face was red, he was breathing heavily, his words disconnected as he had to take a deep breath in after every second.

"Boss... we have... a problem."

Negan turned to the man, clutching his jaw, the color drained out of his face and deep lines forming around his eyes, he rubbed them intensively with his thumb and middle finger, taking a deep breath and looking at the man.

"What is it, Joshua."

"I..I… you better come and see for yourself."

"I'm in a fucking middle of something, so unless the fucking hoard is coming this way, I don't give a fuck."

"But… I…"

"I'll go see what it is about," Alice stepped up, she could see Negan was not equipped to deal with more than one situation today.

"Alight, doll, but be done soon, I'll go up to our room after I deal with this piece of shit here," he pointed at Eugene, who was now out of the truck and standing not feet away from them, with the bag still over his head.

"Fucking believe me, I will do my best, can't wait for this day to end," Alice took a deep breath in, preparing herself for what even is to come, as she turned around and went with the man.

"Gary, go with her, see what this shit is about and help her deal with it as soon as possible," Gary nodded, running after Alice and falling in step with her.

"Ok, now let's deal with you…" Negan took the bag up from Eugene's head, standing only feet away from him, biting the tip of this tongue, showing his pear whiter teeth.

"Welcome to Sanctuary," he grinned at the man, with a tilt.

ooo

"So what is this fuss all about?" Alice asked the man who was leading them through the factory.

"I'd rather not say anything,"

Alice scowled, looking at Gary, who just shook his head, his lips shut tight, he didn't like this anymore that she did.

"Where is Simon, why isn't he dealing with this problem?" she asked.

Man didn't even turn around to look at them, keeping up with his quick pace, "he went out with few of his man, delivering food to our outposts and then going to find something Negan asked for, don't know what, but he won't be back for few days."

"Great," she mumbled under underneath her chin, he found a great time to get lost, she thought to herself.

Man stopped walking at the exit to the other side of the compound, and finally decided to look at them, his eyes glistened with emotion, pulling his eyes brows down, "just so you know, you won't like what you will see on the other side," he told them, as he drew in a breath of air sharply and opened the door.

The sunlight hit Alice, making her view blurry, she raised her arm up, shielding her eyes from the sun, and letting her head down, just to take a step back, bumping into the Gary, who held his hands on her shoulders, keeping her from falling on her back.

"What the…" he looked down as well, furrowing his eyebrow as his mouth became agape.

Alice's face turned even paler than it usually was, her lips trembling as she placed a hand on her chest, like she was trying to keep her heart from falling out with the force it was beating on her rib cage, she pressed the heels of her hand over her eyes, rubbing them, like she was trying to erase an image before her. She wanted to sit down, but she stumbled out of Gary's hold down on the conquered floor, her eyes fixed on the man lying dead in front of her.

"Is, this," she needed to take deep breaths in, between the words, her voice becoming raspy.

"Fat Joey," man that brought them there spoke.

"Ok," Alice nodded, staring wide-eyed at the dead man, not being able to tear her eyes away, this was Joe laying there, not some random person she saw in halls, this was someone she could almost call a friend and one of the few people who actually talked to her from the very beginning. Sometimes too much, sometimes she would have to chase him away or leave in the middle of his story, but he would always come back, not resenting her for it, accepting her just the way she is. And he was now lying dead, his head smashed and only one person came to her mind who would be able to do such a thing and the thought of her being right sent shiver down her spine and brought her to the verge of panic attack. But she couldn't be right, could she, he wasn't like that, he was not like her, he had compassion in himself, she saw it, she was never wrong about things like that, no, it couldn't be him.

"It was not him," she mumbled underneath her chin as she brought herself back to reality, standing up and looking at the group gathered there, all of them looking at her, waiting for her to give them an order, waiting for her to lead as Negan wanted her to lead. And that meant keeping her emotion away from their people, not letting anyone see weakness, for things like that there were closed door and four walls behind them.

She straightened up, lifting her head and looking at everyone with a blank look, hiding every emotion away, it was easy for her to do that, she did it all the time back when the world was normal, she did it with shrinks, with her mom, with almost everyone around her.

She made a circle around the dead man slowly, watching her every step, careful not to disturbed anything, when she saw a bloody pipe on the ground, she picked it up slowly, examining it. She then looked in front of herself to see one of the bikes was missing, and the realization; that it indeed was Daryl who did this, hit her like a thunder, all the feelings of sorrow stepping aside to make room for rage, anger, betrayal.

He did this, he killed one of their man, man who was no threat to him, she was not mad about him escaping, she was not an idiot, she expected something like that to happen, but this, this was not the way it should have happened, Joseph alone was threat to no one, sure in group he would get confident and cocky, but alone, he was a man who would chicken out easily and she was sure he was not a threat to Darryl, if nothing, he would have just passed by him, letting him escape before calling for guards.

She turned to the group, her face that a few minutes ago was soft from grieving slowly changing, the contours hardening, her mouth quivering, as her hands closed to form a fists, "Go, find Dwight, this fucking moment!" she snarled the orders, her face turning red, looking like it will explode at any moment.

When no one moved, confused with her orders, her anger only grew, "I GAVE YOU A FUCKING ORDER NOW FUCKING MOVE! THIS FUKCING INSTANT! OR I WILL SMASH SOMEONE'S HEAD WITH THIS FUCKING PIPE. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"

She was out of the control, chasing people away in different directions, "you have one fucking hour to find that bastard, but don't tell him we are looking for him, just come back to me with his fucking location! Did I make myself fucking clear!"

Everyone nodded, as they split into the groups and scattered around the compound, looking for a blond man.

Garry came to Alice's side, looking at the men as they went away, "what will you say to Negan?"

"Shit, Negan," Alice buried the heels of her hands in her eyes, hissing, she completely forgot about Negan, how is she going to tell him this after what happened today, "fucking shit, will this day ever end."

She turned away from Garry, heading to their room, she was sure he was already there, "I'll deal with it, let me know when they find Dwight and please check Daryl's cell and make sure I am right."

"And if you are wrong?"

"Then send your thanks to whatever deity you believe in. Because if Negan doesn't kill every guard who was on duty today I fucking will."

ooo

Alice was walking slowly up the stairs in the grey corridor, trying to buy herself as much time possible, figuring out how to deal with this, unsure how Negan will react, will he blame her, she saw no reason why he wouldn't, she was the one pampering Darryl, making sure he is healthy and strong, and that was one of the main reasons why he was able to escape and why he had enough strength to beat a man Joseph's size to death.

She reached their room, standing at the door, looking down at the knob, biting her lower lip, if only she could deal with this without Negan interfering, if only she could spear him the stress she was about to put on him, she would give everything to be able to do that, but she couldn't there was no way around this, it is now or never. She took a deep breath in, taking a doorknob and turning it around, taking a step inside the room.

The daylight brighten the room, Negan was standing near the bar, his back turned away from the door, filling two glasses with whiskey.

"I thought it was you, doll," his husky voice made her shiver, but not from lust but from fear, she was afraid this was the moment she will lose him, his trust, his love, everything he has given her. He turned around, smiling, holding two glasses in his hand, he was wearing his white shirt and gray denim jeans, he ditched his jacket over the sofa with Lucile resting on the coffee table.

"Wanna drink, dear," he offered her a glass of whiskey, which she eagerly took, sipping it in one gulp, closing her eyes and shaking her head as the burning liquid went down her throat.

"Wow, easy there dear, I will start thinking you have a problem," he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, "now, what was I planning to do to you this morning before Simon interrupted us" he smiled, biting the tip of his tongue, looking at her, his eyes shining with desire.

There wasn't a thing in this world she wanted more at that moment, as much as she wanted him, but there was no time for that now and the thought that maybe it won't even come a moment like this again, filled her with dread.

She pushed him away, as warm waves washed over her, and her throat tighten, making breathing almost impossible.

Negan saw the change in her instantly, backing away to let her breath, "what the fuck is wrong, doll," he tilted his head, eyeing her.

Alice walked past him, turning her back and putting the glass down on the table, before starting to pace from one side of the room to another, biting her nails, everything she planned to say to him before she walked into this room just disappeared from her head, leaving a blank space and empty words.

Negan was watching her carefully, patiently waiting for her to stop pacing around and talk, Alice knew he did it because he was aware how she got when worried and he always gave her enough space to collect herself, but even his patience with her had its end.

"Listen," she stopped in her step, turning to him, he was on the other side of the room, his arms locked over his chest, leaning on one foot and waiting for her to talk, "I….oh fuck…"

"What is it, doll?" his voice was soft and it only made things harder for her.

There was no way around, no way to soften this bullet, "Daryl escaped killing Joseph in the process," she blurted out, now thinking about it in retrospective she could have handled it much gracious but she wasn't gracious, she was always, kill first ask questions later, kind of person.

"What?" Negan couldn't believe what he just heard, tilting his head to the side, arching his brows.

"We found Joseph dead, his head smashed and one of the bikes went missing, I sent Gerry to check Daryl's cell and the rest of our men are looking for Dwight."

"You are fucking serious," he didn't blink for a full minute, his eyebrows falling down.

Alice took a sharp breath in, running her hand over her ponytail, "I wouldn't fucking joke about something like this."

Negan raised his finger, ready to speak when he was interrupted by hard knocks on the door, he turned his head to the side his eyes never leaving Alice, "come in."

In that moment Garry came in the room, large drops of sweat rolling down his forehead and his mouth opened, breathing like he just ran the full marathon.

"There is no one in Daryl's cell, we the door was unlocked from the inside, also Dwight is in his room, unaware we are looking for him. Just as Alice ordered," he was speaking to Negan but his eyes were glued to Alice, who looked like porcelain doll, standing on the other side of the room, her face pale, her green eyes wide opened not blinking, looking like they were made of glass and fixed in one position, looking at Negan the whole time.

"Alright, Gerry, let's have a little chat with a Dwighty boy then, gather your man and wait for me on the end of the hall."

Gary firmly nodded, leaving and closing the door behind him.

Negan breathed out sharply, his head fell down looking at Lucile, resting on the coffee table, "will this fucking day ever end."

He looked at Alice, who didn't speak, didn't blink, she looked like a ghost.

He was worried about her, it was obvious she wasn't taking this well, he took Lucile from the table and turned to leave the room when he heard footsteps following him, he turned around abruptly and there she was right behind him, ready to follow him to see this through.

But her wasn't having any of that, not this time, "you stay here."

She tilted her head to the side, squeezing her eyes shut and taking a deep breath in, opening them and shaking her head, ghosting 'please' over her lips.

"It's not for a fucking debate, Alice, you stay here!"

He closed the door behind him with her on the other side, she didn't move from the place he left her, looking at the dark polished wood, observing her shady reflection, she shook her head one more time ghosting another 'please' over her lips, but it sounded only like a whimper and nothing more. She was left alone in the silence of their room, with the sun shining on her, teasing her with no sound except her deep and heavy breathing, even her voice decided to fail her in delivering a blissful scream.

She felt like she had failed Negan, failed Joseph, failed everyone close to him who lived in this place and for what, for caring about someone only because his guilt reminded her of hers. That was a stupid sentiment from a stupid girl. , but she wasn't a girl anymore now, was she, she was a woman, no not a woman, she was a fucking idiot, that's what she was and that's what she will always be.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do feel that I've managed to make something I could maybe call my world…over time…little by little. And when I'm inside it, to some extent, I feel kind of relieved. But the very fact I felt I had to make such a world probably means that I'm a weak person, that I bruise easily, don't you think? And in the eyes of society at large, that world of mine is a puny little thing. It's like a cardboard house: a puff of wind might carry it off somewhere." ― Haruki Murakami, After Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

Negan was standing on Dwight's doorstep, with Lucile casualty resting on his shoulder as he watched his men beating the hell out of the blond man. He was looking straight ahead, his mouth set in the hard line, his forehead creased and his brows down almost fully covering his eyes.

He didn't even pay attention to what was happening in the room, thinking about Daryl and how he played them all, trying to figure out how he managed to escape, who did he bribe and whose fault it was.

He was thinking about Alice, about how she will handle this, he had no doubt she was blaming herself for what has happened, blaming that soft spot she had for Darryl and probably thinking he was blaming her as well.

Then it hit him, why wouldn't she think that, the way he had left her in their room, not giving her any explanation just slamming the doors shut right in front of her.

"God, damn it," he hissed, placing the tips of his fingers in the corner of his eyes, squeezing them shut, he took a deep inhale and looked up, what was he thinking, was he really that tired not to see what he had done.

"That's enough boys, take him in the fucking cell, he can spend the night there."

They dragged unconscious Dwight right in front of him and he didn't even look down, walking straight back to his room, with only one thing in mind, fixing any damage he has done as soon as possible.

He was wrecked today, tired, his head was heavy and he was on the verge of nervous breakdown more than once, and where was she, she was right there, taking it all away from him, shielding him the best she could, she even jumped in front of a bullet for him, again risking her life. And what did he do when the occasion arose when she was feeling bad, when she was actually having a nervous breakdown, right in front to him, he turned his back on her again, leaving her alone in the room, weighing, even more, problems on her than she should be dealing with.

"What the fuck is wrong with me," he mumbled as he marched up the stairs, to the end of the hall and two winged doors that lead to their little sanctuary.

He was about to reach for the knob when Misha came out of the room across the hall, wearing tight red dress that barely covered anything, heels so high she almost looked like she was his height ever thought she was at least two heads shorter, her lips framed with dark red lipstick, smiling when she saw him.

"Hello, Negan, can I ask you something?", she purred taking a step closer to him.

"I really don't have fucking time for this," he was about to ditch her, reaching for the doorknob again.

"Just wanted to know where Sherry is, didn't see her since you left this morning, I was just wondering did she went back to Dwight?"

"What?" Negan turned away from the door looking at the tanned woman, "what do you mean she is not here?"

Misha just shrug her shoulders, tilting her had to the side letting the corners of her lips fall down a bit, "I just thought she left us, she's probably around here somewhere."

Negan didn't pay any attention to her, pushing the door that led to his ex-wives rooms and marching towards Sherry's, barging in, just to see the room in mess, clothing thrown everywhere, boxes turned around, drawers pulled out and thrown on the bed.

All his ex-wives came behind him, gawking at the sight.

It was obvious to everyone, Sherry left the Sanctuary and she left it in the hurry, taking only the essentials. Negan couldn't help but let out a dark chuckle, shaking his head and throwing it back, looking up at the ceiling as he leaned back a bit, turning to look at the women gathered there.

"Not one of you saw her fucking leave?"

They all exchanged glances between each other, looking for answers, waiting for one of them to step up, but not one did.

Negan shook his head, lifting Lucile to his shoulder and straddling out of the room, not pushing them for further answers, he found his culprit, now it was just a matter of time to see did she act alone or had someone's help.

Misha ran behind him, catching up and placing her hand on his upper arm, making him turned around, he was surprised with her boldness, never before she had a balls to do something like that and maybe, in past, he would have found it extremely sexy, in this moment, with all the problems weighing him down, he found it extremely annoying,

"Where is Sherry?", she asked him, almost demanding the answer.

He grinned, "I don't fucking know."

Misha looked up at him, squinting, "what do you mean, you don't know?"

"It means, I don't fucking know, and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," he was about to leave when the tiny woman stood in front of him blocking his path.

"She may be dead."

Negan was having enough of it, Alice was alone in the room across the hall, eating herself up for something she wasn't to blame and there he was in room that only brought back the memories of his lonely past back to him, back to the time when he was surrounded by all these women and still felt alone. He turned around; all his ex-wives were in the living room, looking at him and Misha, waiting for him to give them an explanation he didn't owe them.

He took a step closer to the tiny woman, gently taking her upper arm and pulling her closer to him, "I don't fucking care is she dead or fucking alive, she made her fucking choice now she will live with it. Now if you will fucking excuse me, I have real problems to attend to and don't you ever stand in my fucking way ever again, don't play a role that doesn't fit you."

He turned around, looking at the rest of his ex-wives. "Feel free to take anything you like from her room, she is not coming back up here."

He pushed Misha out of the way and walked straight to his room, taking a door knob and with a deep breath opening the door, getting ready to deal with what he will find on the other side.

ooo

He went into the room, almost to bump into Alice, there she was, in the same spot he left her, still standing with her arms loosely hanging on her side and her face empty of any expressions.

"Jesus, fucking Christ woman, you scared the hell out of me," he expected her to smile, how stupid of him, ghosts don't smile and she looked like a ghost, he berated himself.

"Alice, baby, are you there?" he cradled her face with his hands, making her look at him, only then her eyes moved and she blinked.

"Hey there," he smiled, pulling her closer to himself and wrapping his arms around her, "you know I don't fucking blame you, right?"

But she didn't move, it felt like he was hugging a corpse, only her heart racing reassuring him that she was alive.

He swooped her off her feet and placed her down on the bed, lifting her legs up and putting her in lying position as he ditched his jacket and boots and came to lay on her side, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

He slid her rubberband down her ponytail, letting her hair fall loose all over the bed as he ran his hand through it, looking at her face.

She saw still pale, but her eyes looked more vivid than they were a few minutes ago, she wasn't looking at him, letting them fall down as she leaned closer to his chest, he kissed the top of her head as he pressed her closer to himself.

"I'm so fucking sorry for leaving you like that, I didn't fucking think, I was just furious, that's all. You get that, right?"

He felt her nodding and a huge weight being lifted off his chest, he almost really screwed up this time.

The problem was he could never predict how she would react, things that would freak anyone out just brushed by her, not leaving a mark and mundane things would bring her to the brink of madness, one wrong step between her and bottomless abyss. But he saw a pattern there, for he was the pattern, only things revolving him would get to her, only him being able to bring out the worst in her, and it stung like hell, he told her once he was not good for her, he had warned her and still he was not able to chase her away, not then and certainly not now, as much as she deepened on him he deepened on her twice as much.

During this short period of time she was in his life, she became only thing keeping him sane, something like a safe harbor for him to rest and the only person he really trusted. It filled him with dread thinking about losing her, his heart stopping a beat every time the thought came to him, his insides tying into knots and his breath failing him, only hugging her and pulling her closer would make him come back to his senses. But there was one thing he feared more, the thought of her losing him, what she would do, where she would go, how she would be and every scenario he could come up with looked like the worst horror movie, with blood everywhere, everyone dead and her lifeless body on the top of that pile, smiling at her success.

He didn't want that for her, he wanted her to have peace, to be happy and to smile for the rest of her life, but the way he was and the way this world was didn't leave much chance for that. He tried to start his peace treaty today, tried to establish at least some kind of peaceful relationship with Saviors and the rest of the communities but it ended up in the bloodshed, making things only worst with consequences to be seen in the future.

He took a deep breath in, trying to stop the flood of feelings coming to him, this was not his time to fall apart this was his time to mend her, for once. Maybe one day he will say all this to her, put his mind at ease but today was not that day.

ooo

Alice felt his breath becoming deeper and his heart rate increasing, she nuzzled her face in his shirt, kissing his chest as she felt him letting out a small chuckle as he pulled her closer to himself.

"Is my baby girl back?"

She parted away from him, propping on herself elbow and placing her hand on his cheek, "you really don't blame me?", she was scanning his face, tilting her head to the side.

"Of course I am not. I didn't fucking blame you for one fucking second"

"Why?" she frowned, her eyes darting back and forth like she didn't believe him.

"And why would I blame you, doll?" he gave her a weak smile.

"I…", her head fell down, "I…" she ran her hand over the white sheet, biting on her lower lip, her frown becoming even deeper. She really didn't have an answer to his question; to say she was to blame for treating Daryl nicely and that's why he escaped was just stupid.

Her eyes widened as she realized maybe she really was not the one to blame, she wasn't here to stop his escape, she was in Alexandria, she wasn't the one holding the pipe that killed Joseph, it was Daryl, but one thing still concerned her, how did he even managed to escape and who was to blame.

She looked up at Negan, he was smiling at her, his eyes sparkling, he knew she finally won one battled with herself, saying no to her conscience.

He moved his hand lower, resting it on her thigh, moving a bit closer to her, kissing her lips softly before moving his hand back up and tangling his fingers in her hair, turning her on her back as he came to loom over her, kissing her more intensively as he pinned her down on the mattress with his weight. She clung onto him, wrapping her arms and legs around him, trying to pull him as close as possible, her tongue parting his lips sending tremors down her nerves making her back arch as she moved her hand up to his head, her fingers gripping his hair, not wanting him to part away, not now not ever, she was starving for him, the type of hunger that will never be satisfied, always wanting more, demanding more, he was like a drug, the more she had him the more she craved for him.

Wanting to stay there with him for eternity, forget that dirty world on the other side of their door, forget everyone, let them all fend for themselves.

Don't they deserve the bit of peace, don't they deserved to be left alone, why does this world need them, it screwed itself up all on his own, why does it need them to fix it. They are no one, they were not special, just two tormented souls trying to find peace, two monsters craving for a cave to crawl in and sleep for thousands of years, guarding their only treasure, each other.

ooo

The sun has set long after Alice woke up, sitting up on the bed and looking up through the window to the starry sky, she rubbed her eyes, jawing, the day came to its end, the day that looked like a nightmare, surreal. She turned around, Negan was lying on his back, eyelids closed, the deep lines of his face smoothed, his muscles completely relaxed, only his chest falling up and down, his breath deep and relaxed, he looked like a baby without a worry in this world.

Alice propped herself on her elbow, looking at him, admiring the view, running her finger gently over his bare chest, circling around his tattoos, sad smile twitching on her lips, soon he will have to wake up, soon he will have to face another day filled with troubles and struggle to stay alive, but for now he can rest, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek, wrapping herself in the bathrobe she found on one of the stands the other day and went out of the room, down the corridor and stairs, letting her legs lead her where she wanted to go.

The green door was before her, she reached for the doorknob, turning it around and letting herself in, walking into the empty room, the room that was to belong to Daryl. She looked at the bed, smiling as she saw the hoody she left there missing from the pillow.

"Aren't you a bad, bad boy," she mumbled, sitting down on the armchair and looking straight at the door, letting memories take over her.

It felt like a life time ago she was here for the first time, sitting right on that spot, looking at Negan as he was trying to get Daryl on his side for the first time.

'I am Daryl,' she smiled, remembering those words, he told them then all they needed to know and yet none of them listened.

He was never one of them, he could never be and she never blamed him for that, she could never be part of any other community but Sanctuary, she could never call herself anything else but Savior and her name could never be anything else but Negan.

She leaned back into the chair, looking up at the ceiling, he was really gone, he won't be in the courtyard tomorrow, she won't sneak some fruit to him and spend an hour teasing him over some stupid thing, trashing Dwight and making up some ridiculous scenes with him in it. She smiled weakly, letting the anger she felt go, making space for one feeling that was nagging her to come forward all day, sadness, she lost two friends today and it was something she could never imagine happening before, because before she never had anyone she could even call a friend.

"How did I come to this," she shook her head.

"Come to what?", a deep voice brought her back to reality, she stood up in an instant, reaching for a gun that was not there, panic washing over her. as she looked at the figure standing on the opened door, letting out a sigh of relieve.

"Fucking shit, you almost made me piss myself."

Dark chuckle filled the room as Negan walk towards her, placing his hand on her waist, "what are you doing here, doll?"

"Thinking," Alice wrinkled her nose, looking at him.

"Oh, would you fucking like to share?"

She smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the bed, sitting down, with him at her side.

"Remember when you brought Daryl here, asked him what's his name and shit?"

Negan looked at her, "yessss, soooo ?"

"Well, nothing, I was just thinking about that day," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Why?" he really couldn't see where was she going with this.

"I don't know, it just feels like a life time ago. It wasn't even a full week I was here when it happened and still even then this place felt like home like I was here for years like I was here with you all along from the very beginning, it's strange how time goes by now. How can we be sure how long this has been going on, some say one year, some say two, some three but to me, man, it feels like a fucking eternity. Do you even remember the world from before?"

Negan narrowed his eyes, his lips twitching up in a smile, "yes, I do. I remember the sound of cars waking me up, the smell of freshly cut grass, the children fighting over the ball in the gym, the smell of Lucile's apple pie, nights with guys in the pub, flirting with waitresses, I fucking remember it all, doll. Why?"

Alice smiled weakly, looking down at her hands, "Funny thing, I don't remember anything, I mean I do, but it doesn't seem like it was ever real, you know? It feels like some distant dream, something my mind made up. When I look around I can't believe world used to be like that, you know, it doesn't seem real. "

Negan wrapped his arm around her back, as she leaned on his shoulder, looking at their reflection in the black tv screen.

"Sherry is gone," he told her quietly.

Alice just smiled, "Oh, now isn't that a coincidence."

"Well, God works in mysteries ways, doll."

"Hahaha, he does, doesn't he. So who will hunt her down?"

"I will see how Dwighty boy will feel after he wakes up, but he or I don't fucking know, Garry."

"But.." she looked down, taking his hand and playing with his finger, biting down on her lower lip, "I want to do it."

"Why?"

Alice shrug her shoulders, "Daryl escape because of her, she put us all in danger now, he knows too much about us and about this place. I want to be the one to find her and ask her; why did she do it? Of course, I would be polite."

Negan laughed, "you polite," he bumped her shoulder with his.

"What? I can be nice when I want to. You know it better than anyone."

"Oh, I fucking know it," he leaned closer to her, biting the side of her neck, making her tilt her head and let out a girly giggle, as he placed his hand on her side letting his lips travel down her neck to her collar bone.

She let out a loud moan, lifting her head up, giving his an easier access.

"You are fucking distracting me, man," her breath hitched.

"I know," Negan let out a deep laughter, biting on her neck again before pulling away, admiring his handy work, he loved how she would fluster and turn red in minutes from his touch, no matter how innocent or dirty it was.

"I'm sorry, doll, but finding Sherry is not something I want you to do."

"Oh," Alice frowned.

"Yes, I have a more important task for you. You will be the one to hunt down Daryl."

Alice looked up at him, her lips twitching up, forming a wide smile, "really?"

"Well, fuck me, doll, you are the best choice I could think of and probably the only person he wouldn't kill on a sight. He likes you."

She frowned at that, hard lines forming around her eyes, "what?"

"Oh, fucking come on, doll, everyone could see it. I mean I don't fucking blame him, only a fucking idiot wouldn't like you and he is not an idiot."

Alice stood up, looking up at the small windows on top of the wall, before turning around, looking at Negan who was sitting on the end of the bed, smiling.

"I was just nice to him; trying to get him on our side I didn't fucking try to seduce him. Is that what you planned all along, me to seduce him so he could become one of us?"

She didn't know where her rage came from or why she even thought Negan was using her to get to Daryl but it resurfaced.

Negan looked at her as though he just saw a pig flying over her head, "what?"

He frowned but didn't yell, her accusations were so absurd he didn't even think about yelling, trying to process what she just said to him.

Alice was standing there, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight to her right foot.

"You were the one to ask of me to talk to him, first. Not me, doll."

"Yes, but…" she ran her hand through her hair, "I didn't want to fucking seduce him. If that's what you think."

He chuckled, taking her arm and pulling her closer, making her sit by his side, he placed his hand on her face, his eyes darting acorns her features, soaking her in.

"You silly woman, I didn't think you did it intentionally for one fucking moment, it's just something that happened. Yes, it came with some benefits but fuck me doll, he could cut his veins open and bleed out for you, I still would be the one fucking you. And you know why? Because I would fucking cut him down before I would let him lay one hand on you. You are fucking mine, you belong to me, you always did and you always will."

Alice smiled, in past, someone saying something like that to her would usually earn him a blade in the throat, but not now. She knew the hidden meaning of his words and she knew what he wanted to say, it is something she wanted to say to him as well, for a long, long time and it was something normal people would say to each other all the time, but they were not normal people, they were Negan and Alice, and they were one of the kind.

"And you belong to me, always did and always will."

"I fucking do, doll," he kissed her gently, hugging her and placing her to sit on his lap, "I always did and I always fucking will."

She ran his hand through his hair, kissing his forehead, "so, then Laura can go, or Arat? I want Garry with me, on my hunt."

"Laura is playing host to our new guest and I don't feel comfortable sending more of my generals away until Simon returns."

Alice looked at him for a long moment, corners of her lips curling up before her laughter erupted, echoing through the room as she laid down on the bed, Negan looking at her, with a wide smile on his face, he loved the sound of her laughter.

"You fucking gave Laura the task of keeping an eye on Eugene," she wiped away tears coming to her eyes.

"Well, fuck me doll, I needed to find something to keep her busy so she doesn't kill you and seeing how I fucking killed a man she was eyeing back in Alexandria, it is only fair to find her a new one."

"Poor Eugene," Alice shook her head, looking up at the ceiling her hands tucked behind her head, "you know she will kill him, right?"

"I am quite aware of the risk, doll, but better him than you," he placed his hand on her thigh.

"Doll," he turned serious all of the sudden, "I need to ask you something and I don't want you to fucking think you are obligated to answer me or talk about it. If you don't feel comfortable with it just fucking say 'no'. Ok? "

Alice looked at him knitting her eyebrows together, she knew what he was aiming at but she didn't feel like talking about it, not tonight, not after the day they had, "what is this when you ask me for anal?"

Negan glared at her for a long moment, trying to process what she just said before turning the hard line on his face up, smiling at her as he shook his head, scanning her from head to toe, damn it all she always knew how to bring a smile back to his face.

"Shit, doll," he ran his hand over his face, "now you got me all fucking distracted."

"Really," she propped herself on her hand, bringing her face closer to his, biting his earlobe as her other hand slid between his legs and started massaging his number through his jeans.

"Fucking, shit," he hissed.

"So you were saying?" she unzipped his pants and slid her hand in.

He jumped a little, tensing and arching his back, letting his head fall back, as she continued to bite on his neck, slowly sliding down, kneeling. He looked down at her, her hand still in his pants as she was looking up at him, arching her brows, before taking him in her mouth once and stopping.

"Fuck," he let out a loud groan.

"You really need to continue speaking if you want me to continue with my plans," she took him in once more

"Fucking shit, woman, what are you doing to me," he closed his eyes, letting himself fall down on the mattress. No way is was going to speak now, fuck it all, he had no clue what he was going to ask her in the first place.

He felt her standing up, sliding down his pants and straddling him.

"Wanna make out in Daryl's bed?"

The corners of his mouth slid upwards, showing his pearls, "fucking shit, you even need to ask."

Alice bit down on her lower lip, her eyes fixed on his lips as she started attacking them, forgetting all about Daryl, Joseph, Sherry, what was to come next and how the world used to be before. It didn't matter anymore because this was the best as it ever was for her and only that mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kudos and support it really means the world to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

 

_~~**this chapter is dedicated to Chester Bennington who committed suicide last week and it really hit me, hard. He was one of my childhood heroes, his music got me through the darkest times of my life and shaped the person I am today.** ~~ _

_~~**Thank you for everything and forgive us for not being able to return the favor.** ~~ _

 

OOO

The gray corridor that leads to the Dwight cell was filled with guards; Alice scanned every face as she passed by them, following Negan.

All of them were on the guard duty yesterday and not one of them stopped Daryl from escaping, she knew it was not only Dwight's fault but theirs as well, the only problem was they couldn't punish them all, it would be bad for the moral and definitely bad for the security so all they did is give them all double shifts and a reminder that strike one is for free.

Negan was walking slowly in front of her, looking much better today, whistling the same tune as always with Lucile casually resting on his shoulder, his hair combed back, he was wearing white t-shirt his gray denim jeans and leather jacket.

Alice quickened up her pace, falling in step with him, taking glances from time to time, knowing fully well he was aware of it, as he raised his head with a big smug smile on his face, before wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

"When are you leaving, dear?"

"In an hour, the trucks are getting ready and guards are all up, cleaning their guns."

"Good," he nodded as they approached the cell where Dwight was, "now let's see who will be our hunter number two."

He stood at the door, leaning back a bit, looking at Alice with a big smile on his face, like yesterday never happened. He woke up this morning filled with energy, ready to take on whatever the day will throw at him and it was all thanks to her, it amazed him how one person can change everything with nothing more than a few kisses and even fewer words.

He knocked on the metal doors three times, making sure Dwight is awake.

"Good morning, sunshine," he smiled, "it is just as cozy as you remember, you've spent a lot of time on a wrong side of the door after that stupid road trip with wife and Tina. So let's talk about now. I sent some man looking for your little-failed project for a few hours just to run the parameter, and guess what, they found nothing, it was about the time I threw you in here and when I was on my way, back to my room, to comfort my dear wife who was grieving because you fucking lost her best fucking friend I find out one of my ex-fucking wife's is missing. Can you guess which fucking one?"

No sound came from the other side, Negan looked at Alice who was leaning on the wall near him, her leg propped up against the wall.

"Maybe he's dead," Negan shrugged.

"We should be that lucky," Alice snorted, she didn't like Dwight much before and now she flat out hated him, and the most mysterious part of it all was she never could pin point why. Hating him came to her as natural as loving Negan.

She leaned closer to the door, smacking on it a few times, "are you fucking deaf, Negan asked you a question."

They heard a commotion on the other side before Dwight spoke.

"Is it Sherry?"

"Of course is it fucking Sherry," it was almost painful how his attitude pulled on her nerves.

Negan placed his hand on her shoulder, calming her down.

"So Dwighty boy, know anything about that? 'Cause I got to tell you, that's one hell of a coincidence, her leaving just after Daryl took off. And he didn't force his way out, nooo, somebody opened a fucking door for him."

"It's wasn't Sherry."

"Bullshit," Alice grunted, "he is fucking lying to us," she whispered, so only Negan could hear her.

But he didn't look like he was mad, his face was empty of any emotion, which surprised her, it was almost like he believed Dwight didn't know anything about it. And it made her hate the man twice as much, he had some kind of pull on Negan she despised.

"Dwighty boy, " he leaned closer to the door, "Was it you? Did it work the other way around? You were supposed to break him, did he broke you? 'Cause let's face it, you have some pretty legit reasons. Did you change sides on me, Dwighty boy? Are you starting to see things differently?"

No answer came from the other side, Negan clutch his jaw, smacking on the door with Lucile three more time, his face turning red.

"After all this," he took a deep inhale, "after before and after. Hell after everything, I got only one question for you Dwighty boy. Who are you?"

"I'm Negan," came the voice from the other side.

Alice rolled her eyes so hard, she could almost see her brain; thankfully Negans attention was focused on Dwight so he didn't pick up her annoyance. After everything they have been through together, she never once questioned his judgment, but now, she couldn't help it, she didn't like where this was going and she didn't like the idea of Dwight being one of them.

Negan opened the door of the cell, taking one step toward the threshold and leaning on the door frame, looking down at Dwight as he stood up.

"Daryl isn't like you, he's emotional, so he is either on his way back home or coming back here to try and kill some more of us, mostly you and me. Either way, my doll here will find him and fix your stupid mistake. So, you know where Sherry went?"

Dwight looked at Alice, who was standing near Carson, her arms crossed over her chest, in her full uniform and armed to the teeth. She crooked her eyebrow at him, no smile appearing on her face as she surveyed him from head to toe, shaking her head.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Bring her back, sort it out," Negan turned his head to Carson, "stitch him up, fix what you can fix."

He gave an order as he came to Alice's side, putting his arm around her shoulder and leaving Dwight and Carson to tend to their business.

ooo

"Looks like you get Garry for your little run today, doll."

"Aha," Alice nodded as they went down the gray corridor and out in the back courtyard, with a bunch of Saviors waiting for them.

She was about to go down the stairs towards her jeep, when Negan grabbed her upper arm, making her turn and look at him.

"Give him a chance, doll," he didn't even have to name who he was referring to, Alice knew.

"You gave him enough of those to expect for me to do it too."

"Are you fucking questioning my judgment, dear wife?" he landed closer, his face only inches away from hers, contouring into anger.

Alice frowned, bring her face even closer to him, "yes, I fucking am," she growled.

Negan's eyes darted across her features for a long second, his look darkening, "and what are you fucking going to do about it?", he grabbed her by her upper arm.

"I am going to fucking respect it because that is what I will always do, you can't make me not question your decision when I see you are led by guilty or that ever emotion Dwight stirs up in you, but don't ever question my respect for them. But one wrong move from his side and I don't give a fuck what happens to me, I will gut him like a fish."

Negan only nodded, letting go of her, "one wrong move, and I will fucking give you the knife."

"Good to know," she smiled.

They walked down the stairs, joining the group, "well good morning to you all," Negan cheered.

Few of them nodded, few of them mumbled something, but all of them were scowling, it wasn't even noon and the temperature was already unbearable and air humid. No one felt like doing a thing today and no one could blame them, weather like this was only good for lying in shade or dancing naked around the fire trying to summon the rain.

"Are the trucks ready?" Alice turned to one of the Saviors, who just nodded.

"So," Negan spoke, "this is how it goes, my doll will lead a convoy to Alexandria. Just to take a peek, playing a role of a good cop first, so we can see where it will take us. Garry, you are going with her because Simon isn't here. The rest of you who don't have any shifts today are going back scanning the perimeter, check every fucking building, turned every fucking rock, Look at every dead prick to make sure it is not Daryl and most important all get back here before the sunset. Did I make my self fucking clear?"

"Yes," they all said in unison when the door opened and Laura came pushing Eugene, who was holding a jar filled with pickled, in front of her.

Alice looked at them and smiled, "so you gave him pickles Laura? Will you make him a sandwich later?" she wiggled her eyebrow at the woman, who frowned, looking at her.

"Fuck you, Alice, I will get you for this."

Alice smiled, leaning on Negan, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'm leaving, see you tonight."

Negan smiled, turning after her, "Alice, dear."

"I know, I know, 'Alice don't kill anyone '", she blew him a kiss as she sat on the passenger's seat while Garry was turning on the engine."

"And here is the man of the hour," she heard Negan cheering, probably getting ready to deal with Eugene as they left for Alexandria.

ooo

They were driving for half an hour when radio turned one and Negan's voice came from the other side.

"For anyone out there who loved the obese bastard as much as I did I want to say a few words; Fat Joey was not the most badass son of a bitch, but he was loyal, he had a great sense of humor, in fact, we were just joking about oral sex with Lucile the other day. Things will not be the same now that he's dead. Without fat Joey, skinny Joey is just Joey, so it's a god damn tragedy. So let's have a moment of silence."

Alice laughed, shaking her head, "we have skinny Joey?" he looked at Garry.

"No, Alice you heard the man, now we only have Joey."

"Shame."

ooo

When they arrived. the gates of Alexandria were already opened and Rick waiting for them.

"Now, ain't this a welcome," Alice smiled, glancing at Garry, who just looked ahead, not commenting.

"God, I miss Simon," she mumbled, looked out of the window.

"What?" Garry turned to her.

"Lighten up man; nobody died," she bit her tongue at that moment as Garry glanced at her, "today."

He finally cracked the smile, shaking his head as they pulled over.

Rick was standing in front of the trucks as she came out, looking around herself, the entire community gathered there, surprised by their sudden return.

"You were here yesterday," Rick growled, looking at her.

Alice smiled, scanning him from head to toe, "And good day to you to Rick."

"We can't scavenge anything for you in a day," he was talking low, so the rest of their people couldn't hear them.

Alice didn't speak, just looked at him, her arms locked over her chest and blissfully smile spreading across her features.

Garry came to stand at her side, holding a rifle.

"Where's Daryl?" was all she said, looking around as the rest of the saviors gathered behind her.

"What do you mean, where's Daryl, Negan took him."

"True," Alice nodded, "true, but you see, he kind of escaped yesterday, while we were busy escorting your son back here. Him running away and Carl showing up on the same day is one big mother fucking coincidence. Don't you think Rick?"

Rick's head fell down as he twisted around, looking at the people gathered around the courtyard.

"Well, he didn't come here."

"Really," Alice snorted, "well good, this won't be painful then. All of you find a buddy and look around the community if you happened to find Daryl, do what ever it takes to capture him, but don't you dear kill him, call for me; I called dibs on that kill, long fucking time ago! Is that fucking clear!?"

"Yes, mam," all the Saviors agreed, as they went in pairs taking one of the Alexandrians with them.

Two of their man came to Rosita when Alice looked at them, "no, not her, she is coming with us," she smiled at the woman, approaching her.

"How's the face," she winked, as she pushed her to walk in front of them.

"I told you, we don't have anything for you today," Rick fell in step with her and Garry as they were walking through the community.

"Are you really that dense," Alice side eyed him, with a relentless smile her face.

"Relax, Rick, I don't give a shit about your pathetic contribution, I am here to find someone who belongs to me, now will you be a lamb and play a nice host for once."

"Daryl belongs to no one," Rosita spoke, turning her head to the side, her jaw clutched, looking at Alice.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong my dear. See, I like Daryl, so Negan gave him to me so I can have someone to play with. Not that Daryl minded at all, I think he was even happy playing the role. But he was always a bad boy, so he ran away and I kinda want him back, you know what happened to runaways, they never last long out there and I would hate to see someone or something else killing him."

Rosita stopped in her step, turning around and walking towards Alice, getting into her face.

"You already took another one of our people, why don't you leave Daryl alone, so he can as you say, die in peace."

"And where's fun in that," Alice grinned, looking down at the woman.

Rosita was scanning her, scowling "you discuss me."

Alice sneered at her, "good."

They were in each other's face for a long moment before Rick came, breaking them apart.

"Enough," he looked at Rosita.

The woman glared at him for some time before backing away and continuing to lead them through the community.

They entered the garage they use as storage, the shelves once filled with food were empty now. Alice walked inside, looking around, whistling, as Garry coming behind her.

"This was full yesterday, where is your food, Rick?" Alice turned to Alexandria leader, who was standing there looking bemused, not answering her.

She moved closer to him, snapping her fingers in front of his face, making him come back to life, "I fucking asked you something."

He looked at her, his eyes red, large drops of sweat going down his face, "I… we distributed our weekly portion to everyone and nothing was left."

"Oh, really," Alice pulled her brows up, her green eyes darting across Ricks' face, she narrowed her eyes, tilting her head to the side, crossing her arms over her chest, leaning on her right foot.

"Hope you are not trying to hide it from us, Rick. You know, it wouldn't end well for you."

Rick looked up, biting the inside of his lip, hissing, before his head fell down, looking at Alice then Garry.

"I told you, we gave them to our people so we can eat. You will get your share when the time comes."

Alice smiled, tilting her head, surveying the man from head to toe, "good, we will fucking appreciate it. Now back to the problem at hand, where is Daryl?"

"I told you he is not here."

Alice pursed her lips, looking at people around her, Rick was accompanied by the black woman with dreadlock, Michonne if she recalled correctly, Carl and Rosita. She was studying them for a long moment, something changed in their demeanor and she didn't like it.

"Ok," she smiled, nodding, "then we will leave you to it. You have a lot of work to do if you want to find enough goods for us."

Alice walked towards the truck, waiting for the Saviors to gather so they can leave, glancing with disappointed when every group returned without Daryl. She didn't expect to find him, he was not stupid, he would never come back here knowing fully well this is the first place she will come looking for him. But part of her still hoped for a small miracle to happen, like a kid on the Christmas morning, opening the gift knowing it is not what he wanted, but still keeping his hopes high while unwrapping it, only to feel disappointed all over again.

When the last group returned, sitting in the truck ready to leave, she was still standing with Rick, her hands on her hips, looking in the distance, waiting for him to appear, but he never did and they needed to leave to get back to the Sanctuary before the sundown.

She let out a heavy sigh, her head falling down, "Alright people, let's move out."

She hopped in the truck, looking at Rick one last time, "just so you know, if you do see Daryl, tomorrow, in a week, in a year in a next fucking life time, we expect you to come to us or consequences will be dire for all of you, it won't end as nicely as it did the last time."

She looked at Garry, nodding and giving him the sign to move.

When they were out and away from Alexandria, she let go, hitting on the dashboard, "fuck, fuck, fuck."

Garry looked at her, "Alice, calm down."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do," she snarled, "where the fuck am I going to find him, ha? fucking shit! They knew something I saw it in their eyes, they are hiding something away from us, but what and fucking where!?"

She looked out of the window, biting her nails, "he knows too much, Gerry. He knows how we live, how we look, where we fucking sleep, how to get to us, he fucking knows it all."

"We will find him," Garry tried to reassure her but she just let out a small chuckle, shaking her head.

"I fucking hope we will, I really fucking do."

ooo

They were back at Sanctuary after sunset, Negan waiting for them at the gates.

"What the fuck took you so long, doll?" he came to Alice, the moment she was out. He was out of his mind for past hour, waiting for them to come as the sun has set down his mind started making up the worst possible scenarios, he was about to call for convoy and go looking for them when one of the saviors spotted lights and colon of vehicles approaching them.

"We were driving slowly checking the parameter, sorry."

"So you didn't find him."

"No," Alice let out a heavy sigh, her head falling down.

Negan looked at her, knitting his eyebrow together, placing his hand on her chin, lifting her head up, "you will get him tomorrow doll," he leaned closer, kissing her eyelid, "now let's go and rest."

It hurt him to see her like that, she didn't blame herself for what happened, but it was weighing her down, making her smile little less wide, her eyes little less sparkly, her laughter little less cheery.

"Did Dwight find Sherry?" Alice looked at him, bleary-eyed, he could see then how tired she really was, once she let her guard down as they left their people and were on their way to their room, with dinner waiting for them.

"He'll be leaving tomorrow, Carson told me he was not fit for a trip and need's to rest."

"Oh, ok. When is Gavin leaving for Kingdom?"

"In two days. Why?"

"I want to go with him, ask them did they see Daryl or did he pass by, that's all if it's ok with you?"

"Fine by me, dear."

"Good," she said weakly.

"You alright doll?" Negan leaned closer to her.

"Yeah," she rubbed her eyes intensively, "I'm fine don't worry," she gave him a weak smile.

He glared at her, clenching his jaw, she was not fine, he could see it, she was exhausted, he stopped walking taking her upper arm and turning her around before he bent a bit swooping her up in his arms and carrying her to their bedroom.

Alice was confused at first, then surprised but relaxed in a moment, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulders.

When they came in their room, he saw that the dinner was already waiting for them, "hope you're hungry, doll."

But she didn't answer him, he looked at her, her eyes were closed, breathing shallow and slow, the lines on her face soft, she looked like the girl of not more than twenty with hard lines gone from her face. He kissed her forehead as he lowered her down slowly on the bed, taking her boots off and carefully pulling the sheets from beneath her. He wanted to undress her completely and make her more comfortable, but he didn't even dare to try and take her jacket off fearing he will wake her up.

He sat down on the sofa, looking at the bed and her lying form, before taking the guard book and starting to plan the shifts for the next week, listening to the sound of her soft snorting and smiling to himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those."
> 
> ― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Alice was driving in the front seat of the truck with Gavin and few saviors in the back; the rest of the group was following behind.

It was a small group, no more than ten men. It was strange for her, everywhere she would go a small army was always with her, no matter was it with Simon or Negan.

She didn't mind this though, she was in the bad mood ever since yesterday, when Dwight returned from his so called run, with some, make-believe story about Sherry's death. Alice didn't buy it for one second but Negan did.

ooo

_"How can you believe such a bullshit story?"_

_"Be careful how you talk to me, Alice!"_

_"Me, you are telling me to be careful! He is flat out lying to you and you believe him!"_

_"We have no proof he is lying!"_

_"We'll we don't have a fucking proof he is telling us the truth, now do we!"_

_"If he is lying, he will die! But I can't lose a good man over what if's!"_

_"And when are you going to kill him, before or after he stabs you in the back?!"_

_"Alice…"_

_"You know what. Fine, do whatever you fucking want it's not like you listen to me anyway. But don't expect from me to sit here and keep quiet, because I fucking won't. I am watching him and one wrong move he is dead."_

_Alice left the room after that, slamming the door shut._

_She walked aimlessly around the outskirts of the compound, looking for Daryl, not knowing_ why. _She knew he wouldn't show up and still she couldn't help but hope for a small miracle._

_She missed him and she missed Simon._

_There was no one left for her to talk to and she would kill for Simon's advice or some smug_ remark  _when she asked Negan that morning where has he gone to, he was strangely mysterious, not granting her the clear answer._

 _She missed spending time with Daryl, taking about nothing and just letting her mind run freely while_ at _the same time annoying Dwight and taking a great pleasure out of it._

 _The sun was down when she came back to the Sanctuary, exhausted and dirty, the room was empty when she came in so she went straight to the bathroom, cleaning herself up. She lost track of time for how long has she been in there, but when she came out the dinner was already on the table and Negan waiting for her, with Lucile_ casually _resting on the side of the sofa._

 _"Are you going to fucking talk to_ me, _doll?"_

_"Are you going to fucking listen?"_

_Negan let out a heavy_ sigh _, looking away from her._

_"I don't want to fight with you, doll."_

_"Or I with you."_

_Alice sat down beside him turning his head and kissing him, she didn't see him all day and it was strange and unpleasant, even when she was furious with him, she still needed him close and to think Dwight was the one they were fighting over, just made her nerves cringe._

_She despised the man._

_They eat their dinner quietly not speaking and went to bed quietly, not speaking. They laid there in each other's arms, not one word filling the silence. Both of them knew, if one is to talk, the fight will start all over again and they were_ both too _stubborn to accept other's point of view. So in_ silence _, they agreed that over this particular matter, they will never agree. Alice didn't trust Dwight from the moment she saw Glen's photo in Daryl's cell and Negan felt he owed him a benefit of the_ doubt  _when after all he has done to him; he still fought his way through and became one of his most trusted generals._

ooo

"Why so small group?" Alice decided to talk, averting her mind from everything that was going on in last few days.

"We don't need a bigger one, this is a very peaceful community, their leader, King Ezekiel, as they call him, wants to keep a fight as far away from his people as possible, we don't enter the community his people don't know about us and we get our share of goods, regularly and without any problems. It's quite a nice arrangement."

"Too nice to be believable."

"Not all things need to end in bloodshed, mam', no matter how the world is today."

"If only more people shared your opinion."

"And we don't need a bigger group, we are the best out of best," one man from behind spoke, leaning in between the seats, holding some kind of stick in his hand. He had a long hair, his beard in desperate need of shaving or grooming but not even close as his hair was in need of washing. Alice eyed him, she didn't see him much around the compound, he was familiar but not so familiar to even get a right to say he is a friend of their best people, let alone one of them.

"Why do you have a fucking stick?"

"This," he smiled, "let's call it a symbol."

"Symbol of what exactly?"

"Symbol of our power."

"That's enough," Garvin snarled at the man.

Alice could see how his face turned red and his eyes fixed on the man's reflection in the rear view mirror, he didn't like this subject but what this man said peaked her curiosity, it made so little sense, she needed to know more.

"Really, the wooden stick is a symbol of our power. Well, we are screwed then."

A man laughed, shaking his head, "see, people of Kingdom were getting cocky, so I took this from one of them as a lesson."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Quite neat isn't it?"

Alice looked at the man, not believe what she is hearing, a wooden stick, he was bragging about a wooden stick.

"What's your name?"

"Jared."

"Jared, hmmm, never heard of you before."

"Oh, I am a low profile man, I let my actions talk for me."

"Well, it seems they have been mute."

A man looked at her, frowning, before falling back in his seat and keeping quiet for the rest of the ride.

It was obvious to Alice this man wasn't quite intelligent and probably very aggressive, that's just the way people like him were, hiding all his insecurities behind the mask of a bully.

People like that were great assets nowadays, they would do all the grunt work and wouldn't ask for much, little recognition from their leaders and that was it.

But the problem with people like him was that from time to time they would act on their own if their ego was blown out of proportions and do more damage in one second that they did good in all their years of service. So as much as they were useful they were to be watched and controlled 24/7.

When they arrived at the meeting post no one was there, Alice tugged her shield up to her face and popped herself up on the hood of the truck, sitting with her legs crossed and taking one of her knives out, playing with it, she also had her bow with her, her machete and her Eagle, after what Gavin told her about this community it seemed a bit over the top but she hoped she will find Daryl somewhere along the way and even though she didn't want to use any of her weapons on him, the chances were it would be inevitable.

"Where are they," Gavin was pacing back and forth, looking down at his watch.

"You told me they were punctual."

"They usually are," he let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the sky, the sun was beating down on them and the heat that was radiating out of the concrete parking lot didn't make things any easier.

After fifteen more minutes, the trucks came and the group of man came out, led by the tall, dark-skinned man with white dreadlocks.

"You are late," Gavin addressed him and Alice assumed that was the leader.

"If you could indulge us your pardon, our path…"

"I don't want to hear it…"

"Don't interrupt the king," man that was standing near Ezekiel spoke before Jared hit him over the head with the stick he was holding.

Alice hopped down from the hood, walking towards the group, Gavin said this was a peaceful community and they didn't need any more problems than they already had.

"There are no kings anymore," she spoke, "they are long dead, along with their soldiers, as it should be. But there are leaders and the way their followers choose to address them is their own business, but out here, don't bring that 'Your Highness' shit our way, because for us there is only one king, and he is currently not present."

The group looked at her, confused, everyone taking a step back as she came to stand at Gavin's side, turning around and looking at Jared, who was eyeing the blond boy, not more than sixteen years old.

"Jared, turn your attention back here," she called for him.

"He called me a rat face," man frowned.

"Oh, for fucking sake, grow a pair."

She turned to Ezekiel, out of all strange people she encountered in her long travels; this man was the strangest one of all.

"Do pardon my language, your majesty" she smiled underneath her shield wrinkles around her eyes giving her away as she extended her arms, gesticulatory twirling her hands while making a half bow.

Gavin ran his hand over his face, letting out a heavy sigh, "this is Alice, Negan's left hand and also his wife. She has some questions for you, so please answer them to your best ability so we can wrap that up before we continue."

"Nice to meet you, my name is Alice, as Gavin kindly mentioned before and I lost something of mine, someone of mine, and I need your help getting him back."

"We will gladly be of service, dear lady, as we always are."

"Nice to know," Alice winked, "I'll make sure Negan knows that. Anyhow, back to business, I lost a man, goes by the name of Daryl, but don't bother to call him he will ignore you or pretend he is ignoring you, he is about this high," she lifted her hand little below the top of her head, "messy hair, doesn't talk much and glares at everything from butterfly to Walker, he is probably wearing Harley Davidson hoody and has a permanent, 'someone stole my ice-cream' face. Anyone saw him?"

She heard a bald, dark-skinned man who was standing near Ezekiel let out a small chuckle.

Alice turned to him, tilting her head to the side, "something funny?"

"No," the man shook his head, "I just remembered someone I used to know, before all this, that's all."

"Hmm, ok, but does it remind you of someone you saw recently, maybe yesterday or day before."

"I am sorry, but no."

"And you?" Alice turned to look at Ezekiel.

"I am sorry as well, but we cannot help you for we have not seen such a man."

"Oh," Alice's face fell, "thank you for your collaboration. I appreciate it."

She turned around walking towards their truck and popping herself back on the hood, getting out of Gavin's way and leaving him to deal with his business.

"Where are you, bad boy?" she whispered to herself, burying the heels of her hand in her eyes before turning her head in the direction of the woods, thinking she will see him standing there.

"I appreciate your cooperation with Alice," Gavin turned to Ezekiel, "and I appreciate that you've been delivering on time, every time. But things have been unnecessarily tense and that makes me unnecessarily tense, and I didn't pick this route to be tense. So let's see today's offering and get it over with."

Gavin walked towards the truck, he stood there for a long moment. Alice was getting annoyed, she didn't get what she came for and was eager to get back to Sanctuary, ever since Daryl's escape she didn't feel at ease being far away from Negan, never knowing when he might come back to get his revenge. She would scan the perimeter before the sunset, every day, to make sure no one was in the woods or close to their gates, it didn't put her mind at ease but it would help her get at least an hour or two of sleep.

"I want your guns, too."

Gavin's order startled her as she got down and pulled her eagle out, not aiming it at anyone, but keeping it ready.

"We didn't agree to that," Ezekiel turned to Gavin.

"You got a choice, same one that's been there since the beginning, I guess. You can give up your guns or you can try to use them. What's it gonna be?"

Alice decided to keep quiet, something was obviously wrong and she was interested to see how Gavin planned to deal with it. Ezekiel looked at her then at his people, waiting for them to react.

"We should give them over your majesty," one of his people spoke, the tall man who was the only one who didn't have his weapon drawn out.

"Ehhh, we should give them over your majesty," Jared mocked him, "or maybe I'll just shove this down your throat."

"That's enough, Jared!" Alice decided to intervene. She didn't understand why Gavin kept this man around; if it was up to her he would be at one of the outposts, where his 'talents' would be used to the max and away from sensitive jobs like community runs.

"Give Morgan his stick back." Ezekiel finally spoke," then you can have the guns and all of us can go on with our day's journeys."

"You are not the one to make demands here, we are." Alice walked up to the man, standing right in front of him, his gun aimed straight at her chest, "am I fucking clear."

"Gavin, what is happening?" she turned to Gavin.

"I'll speak when they surrender their guns. Ezekiel... I need you to understand the gravity of what's happening here. I gave you a choice. What is it going to be? Come on. You know the answer."

"It's fine," Morgan spoke.

Ezekiel turned to him, before ordering his man to surrender.

Alice took his gun from him, "ok, Gavin, wrap this shit up fast. I have things to do back home. That's a fucking order."

Gavin turned around, nodding, "I think I owe you an explanation, mam."

Alice rolled her eyes at this, she knew people were looking at her the same way they did Simon, if not even as someone with more power, but it got on her nerves when they would use titles around her and Gavin always did, even before she became Negan's wife.

"The reason I took the gun's away from them is that the things are about to get emotional and they have proven they don't deal well with emotions. And today they are short, we said twelve, I count eleven"

"There are, twelve," Ezekiel snarled.

"No, I counted."

"Count again."

"You count."

"I'll fucking count, god damn it, it's like kindergarten here."

Alice walked up to the truck and looked down and three small crates filled with cantaloupes, she didn't understand how they think it is profitable to come all this way down here, just for that.

"I count eleven. Did we establish that now?"

"That, that is impossible," Ezekiel came at her side, looking down at the offering, his eyes widening.

"It seems like a fucking possible thing to me."

Gavin didn't turn, still looking at the crates, "it's real. It's happening now and the problems have to end, now. You have to learn the stakes here, so we're gonna teach you."

"You don't have to do anything. We'll get you twice the tribute in an hour," Ezekiel looked at her, his eyes widening, drops of sweat going down his face as his mouth opened, showing a white line of clutched teeth, he was petrified, begging her for some understanding, for a chance, for her to intervene and stop whatever was about to play out.

"Right now is the only time that matters. And right now, you haven't held up your side of the bargain, even after we have talked about this, over and over again. So we're gonna deal with all of this... right now. Us and you, don't turn to her for help, she is here for different business and won't intervene unless completely necessary and hopefully we won't get to that."

"Right now, as in, right now?" Alice heard Jared talk.

"Yes, Jared, right now."

"Alright," he pulled out the gun, aiming it at the man he was mocking just a few minutes ago.

"Do it," a man whispered coldly like he accepted his death even before this all played out.

Jared smiled, tilting his head to the side, "Alright."

The gun shot was heard and the cry of pain came after it, Alice turned around to see is the man dead, but to her surprise, he was still standing, looking at someone on the ground.

"What," she looked down as well, only to see a young boy who was with the group lying on the concrete, holding his leg with blood oozing in between his fingers.

He was a kid, a kid, and he is dying there, shot but one of them.

Alice looked at Jared while everyone around her started to panic; he was looking down at the boy, smiling. She took a few long steps towards him, forming a fist with her hand, swinging it and punching him directly in the nose, sending him flying backward.

"What the?" man looked at her, confused as she came at him one more time, shoving him on the ground and bringing a knife to his throat.

"We don't fucking harm children, you gutless pig!"

She already made a hundred and one scenarios about how she could kill him, what she would do to him when Gavin called for her.

"Alice!"

"Take a kid back to the Kingdom, now!"

She snarled the order, before taking Jared by his collar and pulling him back to his feet, that was when she saw a stick he was bragging about on the ground.

"You there," she called for one people from the kingdom, "take this thing and give it to whomever it belongs to."

A woman came, taking it from the ground, nodding ad Alice, before running towards the truck, starting the engine and going back to the Kingdom.

When they were left alone, Alice turned her attention back at Jared, taking another swing at him, punching him in the stomach.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, we don't fucking harm kids!"

"He is not a kid," the man hissed between his teeth while bending down and holding his stomach.

"He would have been a high school student you idiot, he is a kid!"

She was about to punch him one more time, before Gavin stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder and shaking his head.

Alice let out a heavy breath, looking at the building around them, "take him to a fucking truck; I don't want to hear one fucking word from him."

Two Saviors came, each taking one of Jared's arms and starting to pull him in the direction of their vehicle, when Alice gave them a signal to stop, going up to man's face, "you pray to God, that kid sees the dawn, because if he doesn't, neither will you ever again, at least not as a living person. Take him to the cell once we come home, he will spend the night there and tomorrow he will come with us, back here. Is that fucking clear?"

Men nodded, before tying up Jared's hands and taking him away,

Gavin came to her, his face shining with the sweat and his eyes red, " you don't have to come back here, tomorrow, with us."

"Oh, but I am. I want to kill that son of a bitch myself."

"But…"

"No, but's, I am ordering this not asking. Now take me home, I have more important things to take care of."

ooo

The sun was betting heavy on him as he was sitting on the steps of one of the cottages in Hilltop, listening to Rick as he was telling him about his plan on taking down the Saviors and killing Negan.

"It won't be easy, he has a lot of people around him, place is like a fort, and there are a lot of innocent there, woman, children, old people," 'Alice,' name crossed his mind but never his lips, she was not innocent but he didn't want her dead.

"There must be a way in, a way around, you were there for a long time, you must have figured out some way to get in, kill him and get out with minimum casualties."

"No, there is not. He is on the top floor, his lieutenants just below him and guards just below them."

"Can we get in through the roof."

"No.. I don't think so. I was never up there," he lied, he was not going to say he was there with Alice, it would raise more questions than he was willing to answer and not like it would help, he didn't know was there a way in through the roof, she never showed him enough of the compound to figure it out. Even if she did, he didn't want to bring the fight to them, in Sanctuary Saviors had an upper hand, no it has to be somewhere else. For their sake and for the sake of all the common people living under Negans protection, yes it was for them and it had nothing to do with the fact that if they were to barge in, Alice would be the one standing on their way to Negan without any way of moving her that didn't mean ending her life.

No, it was not for her safety, it was for them.

"So we must lure him out and then fight him."

"Yes," he nodded.

Rick's eyes were fixed on the kids playing not far from them, "and how do we do that?"

"We get ready and when he comes to Alexandria for supplies, we strike."

"No, that wouldn't work. What if he sends Simon or Alice?"

"Alice doesn't do grunt jobs like that."

"She did yesterday."

That got Daryl attention, making his stomach lurch, "what?"

Rick turned to him, his mouth fixed in the hard line, swallowing heavily, the shift in Daryl's attitude told him everything he needed to know, he knew this man for years, he saw him lose many people close to him and he knew every tick of his face when he felt someone he cared about is in trouble.

"She came looking for you. She thought you came back to Alexandria, she trashed the place down with a bunch of Saviors at her side, following her every order. She is looking to kill you."

Daryl's face fell down, he picked a Clover that was beneath his feet and started turning it in circles, fixing his attention on it.

"Of course she is," corner of his lip twitched up, he didn't expect no less of her.

"When the time comes, will you be able to do what needs to be done?" Rick tilted his head a bit, trying to catch his attention, trying to read from his eyes will he lie or speak the truth.

"What do you mean?" Daryl didn't look at him.

He placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning closer, "if we go out and somehow manage to get to Negan, you know she will be on the way. Are you ready to do what needs to be done?"

Daryl's eyes drifted across Ricks features, keeping silent for a long minute, this was a question he asked himself every night since he first caught himself staring at her, the same question that almost made him stay there, the only thing heavier of that question was the answer to it, and the fact was, he didn't know.

"Yes," he nodded, before turning his attention back at the clover in his hands, "it never has four leafs."

Rick looked at the plant, scowling, there was so much pain in that statement it was unbearable for him.

"No, not anymore, old friend," he tapped him on the shoulder before standing up and walking away.

 _"You really could kill me, bad boy?"_  Daryl heard her voice again, but it didn't startle him, not anymore, he got used to it, he would hear her almost every time he was left alone, and he would answer, more times he cared to admit.

"If I have to."

 _"You could have stayed back there, you know, with me. I would have protected you. But_ noooo _, you have to go out play a big fucking hero and hurt yourself even more. How stupid of you bad boy, to ruin our friendship like that. I am really disappointed."_

"Leave me alone, Alice. This is the way it has to be, there are no more four-leaf clovers."

_"But they are, bad boy, and you would find them if you cared enough to look."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this, for all your support and I hope you liked this one.  
> Read you soon xxx


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." ― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

Alice has woken up sometime before the dawn, not being able to sleep turning and tossing in bed whole night, every time her body would give up on her and send her mind into the land of dreams, the same nightmare came to her. She tapped Negan side of the bed, but he wasn't there, she jumped up, looking around the room.

"Bad dream, again, doll?"

She turned around, Negan was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the bathroom door.

"Yes," she whispered, letting out a sigh of relief, dropping down in the sheets.

"You'd been having them a lot lately?", he didn't turn around, his voice soft and raspy.

"Yeah, it's always the same nightmare."

"What it is about?"

"You… dying," she looked away from him, focusing on the full moon that was illuminating their room.

She heard him let out a heavy sigh and felt the bed shifting, in a moment his arm came around her waist and he pulled her closer as he sat down on the bed leaning on the headboard.

"You need not think about shit like that, doll," he told her, placing a kiss on her temple and moving her to lay over his chest.

"It just comes to me, I can't help it."

"I know," he fell silent.

"Why are you awake?"

He ran his hand over his face, stroking his beard that started growing out again.

"Bad dream."

"Really?" Alice frowned, looking at him, he usually never had them at least not since she moved in with him.

"Yeah," he sighed again.

"About…"

"It's stupid really. I dreamt of you, holding hands with Lucile, my wife, and waving me goodbye."

"Oh," her eyes fell down as she was running her fingers through his chest hair.

"You get those a lot?"

"I used to, before, you know, back when we were fighting. Didn't have them for some time now."

"Are they are back because we are fighting again?"

He chuckled slowly, squeezing her a little tighter, "probably, yeah. I am not fucking used on people talking back."

"And here I am, with always something to say."

"I would not have it any other way doll," he took her chin, lifting her head a bit and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"You should sleep. Tomorrow is a long day ahead of us."

"'Yes, it is," she snuggled into the crook of his neck, taking a deep inhale, letting his smell wash over her and calm her nerves as she closed her eyes and drifted away once more.

OOO

"Why did you put one of our men in a cell?" Alice was about to take a bite out of her sandwich when Arat came in the room, not even knocking, looking for her.

"Well, good fucking morning to you too, Arat, don't you know how to fucking knock. What if we were having sex and you burst in just like that?" , Negan was on the other side of the room, taking one of his shirts out of the closet and pulling it on.

"I…I", Arat turned red, only then realizing how she entered the room and whose room was that. She was used on Alice not locking the door and letting her and a few chosen ones walk in and out however they pleased, she forgot the rules changed now.

"I wouldn't mind," Alice smiled, licking the tips of her fingers as she finished up her breakfast.

"And why didn't ask Gavin? He knows better than I do what Jared did."

"Who the fuck is Jared?"

"One of Gavin's people," Arat turned to Negan, her hand resting on her hips, "and I did ask him. He told me to go and ask you?" she glanced back at Alice, who was casually sitting on the sofa, her leg propped up on her knee and loosely holding a glass of water in her hand.

"Well, what a way to dodge a fucking bullet," she chuckled, "Alright, I'll take the bait," she slowly place the glass back on the table, before locking her eyes with Arat's.

"Jared is in a cell because he jeopardized our diplomatic relationship with Kingdom, he didn't follow the orders of his superiors, he intentionally antagonized people his group was dealing with and our good relationship with Kingdom is now in danger because yesterday he shot the kid in the leg. He is now in the cell because I am waiting to see will the kid make it through and then I will decide his faith. Is this good enough explanation for you? "

Arats face and mouth froze wide opened as she was scanning Alice, she was about to say something but words never formed.

"I would appreciate if you never question the way my doll does things, she will never do anything to put us in any danger. And as you see now, that man is clearly an idiot who wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place and will be dealt with as she sees it fit, without anyone interfering. Whatever she fucking orders, you all should look at it as if it came right out of my fucking mouth. Am I fucking clear?"

Negan came to stand in front of Arat, acting like a wall between her and Alice, his eyes dark and his mouth clenched in a hard line.

"I fucking asked you something, Arat."

A woman looked up at him, swallowing heavy and nodding.

I didn't fucking hear you. "Yes.. yes sir."

"Good, now be a lamb and leave us alone, morning is the only time I get to spend with my wife undisturbed lately and would like to keep it that way if you don't mind."

He showed her to the door, gently walking her outside and closing them shut before she was even able to say another word.

"Thank you," Alice smiled weakly, "I apologize for not telling you about it earlier I just didn't find the right moment, you know… with everything going on and…" she swallowed her last words.

"No need to thank me, doll," Negan took a seat beside her, taking her in his arms and pulling her to sit on his lap.

"I would have done the same thing, it's nice to see what kind of leader you are turning into, not two months ago you would kill him on the spot, but you took a harder but better way. I am fucking proud of you, doll."

He wanted to say he is happy to know she will be a good replacement for him if something happened, but he knew those words would make her go mad so he kept his mouth shut. The corners of his lips curling up and the hope that maybe she wouldn't go on a killing frenzy if he was to perish, rose up.

"Well, I have the best teacher by my side," she smiled, wrapping her hand behind his neck and pulling him closer for a kiss.

OOO

They weren't alone for more than fifteen minutes and only their underwear left between them when someone knocked on the door again.

"Jesus fucking, Christ!"

"You got to be shitting me," Alice growled, "Go away!"

"Boss, I need to talk to you," it was Dwight.

"It can fucking wait," Negan didn't mind him, starting to pull down Alice's panties, "I'm in the middle of something," he smirked as he slid down in between her legs.

"It's about Sherry."

"I can't believe this shit," Alice moved away, taking her panties and pulling them on, with her pants following them.

"I am going to start punishing people from interrupting our alone time," Negan was up as well, not bother to get dressed.

"Yeah, well, we would run out of people pretty fast that way," she smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead, "I'll go get dressed in the bathroom."

"Nooo," he pouted, "don't get dressed," he pulled her closer, making her stand in between his legs as he rested his chin on her belly, looking up at her.

"I'll ditch him as fast as I can and join you in the bathroom, what do you say?" his lips stretched in the wide smile.

"I need to go to Kingdom in an hour, and besides, I got a feeling Dwight will kill your mood the moment he walks in just as he killed mine, the moment he talked."

"I hate it when you get all business on me, but ok I get it," he pulled his hands away from her, in a sign of surrender, slapping her butt as she turned around, making her giggle.

"Big baby," she smiled, closing the door just as the knocking sound filled the room again.

"Unless you want to see my dick in its full glory, you need to be patient, Dwighty boy."

Alice came out of the bathroom five minutes later, when she saw Negan standing near the door, fully dressed now, looking down at the doorknob, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You still didn't open the door?"

"No, I am waiting to see how long he will wait until he knocks again."

Alice was standing there with him for another five minutes, watching his smile becoming wider with every passing minute.

"You know, I have places to be, and I need to get out through that door?"

"Patience is a virtue, dear."

Another two minute passed, when the knocks were heard again followed by Negan laughter, as he clapped his hands, leaning back a bit, "told you doll," he winked.

"Well do fucking come in Dwight, I don't know why were you standing there for so long. No don't tell me, let me guess, you were jerking out in front of our door, weren't you?"

Dwight's didn't look amused, shifting his eyes between the pair and then looking at their bed and sheets, thrown down on the floor, his scowl deepening.

"I need to talk to you, about Sherry."

"Well fucking talk," Negan smiled, "you want some ceremony held in her honor or some shit like that?"

"No, it's not about that," he shifted his weight from one foot to another, "I… I thought we could talk privately."

Alice tensed, she wanted to throw him out of the room, punch his stupid face and shove his boot down his throat, but she couldn't, this was Negan problem and he was the one to decide how he will approach it.

"I don't fucking understand what it is you want to talk about that my doll can't hear, I will tell her sooner or later anyway."

"I….it's private." Dwight's eyes fell down, trying to avoid Negan's questioning gaze. He didn't want to talk in front of Alice, she made him nervous, always full of questions and her stare made his skin itch.

"Doll, do you mind?" Negan turned to Alice, his eyes fixed on hers, pleading her not to make a scene.

"Will you walk me out, dear husband."

"I most certainly fucking will," he smiled, placing his hand on her lower back, walking out of the room with her.

"Ok, doll, I know what you are thinking, but I am fucking…" , they were near the staircase that led down to the lieutenant's floor.

Alice shushed him, putting her finger on his lips, "just promise me, you won't believe everything he tells you. That's all I'm asking for."

"Alright," he took a deep inhale in, "I will take everything with the reservation."

She placed her hands on his face, tilting her head to the side, leaning closer and placing one kiss on his forehead, one on the tip of his nose and one on his lips, "thank you," she smiled, before turning around and heading down the stairs, looking for Gavin.

Negan watched her go, standing on the top of the stairs few moments after she disappeared behind the corner before he went back to their room.

Dwight was standing near the bookshelf, scanning the titles, when his eyes drifted down on the sofa where Lucile was resting, he walked towards the bat, his brow falling down as he slowly extended his hand running his finger over the barbed wire, everyone noticed Negan wasn't carrying it with him all the time anymore, he would only walk around with her during the inspections, unlike before, when rumors circulated that he even slept with her in his bed, no one close to him believed that but it didn't stop common people from talking.

"Careful, she bites," Negans voice startled him, making him jump a bit, reaching for his gun.

"Why so tense Dwighty boy, no one is going to kill you in here. Too big of a fucking mess to explain to wife, and you know how women get when it comes to carpets, " he smiled.

"Yes, Alice does seem like a woman who fusses around the drapes and carpets."

"You'd be surprised, Dwighty boy, you should see the size of a fucking mirror she dragged back here from Hilltop. But enough about that, take a seat," he gestured at one of the armchairs as he sat down on the sofa, taking Lucile and placing her on his lap, waiting for Dwight to sit down.

"So, Dwighty boy, talk to me, talk to me about Sherry."

"I know who helped Daryl escape and why."

"Really", Negan leaned closer, "well I need to fucking hear all about that," he smiled, forgetting completely what he promised Alice not a few minutes ago, he had his culprit now it's time to bring him to justice.

OOO

"Why does he have a tape over his mouth, but isn't tied up?" Gavin looked at Jared, who was sitting in between two saviors.

"Because, I don't want to hear a fucking word out of him," Alice was focused on passing trees, "and his hands aren't tied up because I am looking for an excuse to kill him before we even find out what happened to the boy and him trying something is one hell of an excuse. Right, Jared?" she leaned over her seat, smiling at the man.

"What, nothing to say," she giggled, "too bad you didn't practice that before you got yourself and all of us with you, in this fucking mess."

They arrived at the meeting post, people from Kingdom already waiting for them, with Ezekiel in the middle.

"Here goes nothing," Alice mumbled turning around and violently jerking the tape away from Jared's mouth, "you don't fucking talk, you don't fucking look at anyone, you stand there, acting like a good boy you should have been in the first place, and maybe, just fucking maybe, you get out of this with all your body parts in place. Did I make myself clear?"

"Yes," Jared lifted his head, looking her directly in the eyes.

"I told you not to fucking talk," all of the sudden her hand cracked over his face, his arrogance was getting the best of her, who does he think he is, lifting his head up so high after what he has done.

Jared held his cheek, as the red mark started to form, narrowing his eyes.

"Now, let's fucking do this again. You don't talk, you don't look at anyone, you just stand there and witness in silence how your faith unwraps before your eyes. Am I clear?"

Jared's face fell down as he nodded weakly.

"Good," Alice smiled, "now let's get over with this. I have a missing man case to deal with and I don't feel like wasting any more of my time."

They came out, one of the Saviors pushing Jared in front of himself as they made the line in front of Ezekiel's man, mimicking theirs, with Alice and Gavin in the middle.

"Good morning," she smiled, surveying the group, their faces empty, eyes sagged down and red, she turned her attention on the only woman in the group, maybe because she was better at reading female faces, maybe because she saw the same expression on her mother face too many time, whatever it was, she knew.

"How is the boy?" Gavin asked the group.

"Boy is dead," Alice whispered, taking her bow as she turned around, drawing an arrow and shooting Jared in the chest.

The man fell on his back, choking in his blood as it came pouring out of his mouth, all the Saviors turned around, coldly looking down, while the people from Kingdom stood in wonder, their mouth and eyes wide opened, glancing between Jared, Alice, and Gavin.

"Gavin, what is the meaning of this?", Ezekiel spoke, his white teeth clutched In perfect line.

Gavin was silent like he didn't even hear him, his eyes glued to the ground, face turning red, moving his head to the side, letting out a heavy breath.

Alice walked towards the man, bending down and pulling an arrow out of his chest, hissing while she wiped away the blood from the arrowhead against Jared's jeans.

"Punishment," she answered Ezekiel's question as she turned around, locking her eyes with his, "killing, molesting or even touching children or young people, is not what we do, it was never something we did! Still, it happened more times than I care to count!", she was now addressing the group that came with her.

"I don't give a damn what they do, if there is another way of dealing with the situation, then you better fucking find it or you'll end up like this, piece of shit, here!"

"You," she called for a man on the far end of a line, "get that linen bag out of the truck and put it over his head, then load him up in the back, he is continuing his service back on the fence."

Alice turned to Ezekiel, his eyes were fixed on the dead body Saviors were loading up in the truck, his lips pursed but slightly opened, his eyes darting left and right, there were few things she loved more than confusing people who always looked like they have their shit together.

"Why so confused, your majesty? This is not the world where one can afford losing good resources, even the dead have roles to play."

The side of her lip pulled upwards, followed by her brow, as she locked her arms over her chest, shifting her weight to her right foot and tilting her head slightly to the side.

Ezekiel looked at her, breathing heavily.

"I don't understand, what kind of role a mindless husk can play?"

"Well, the role of mindless husk," her smiled widened, as she bit her lower lip, "apparently," she snorted rolling her eyes.

"Gavin, take it from here," she turned away from the group, going towards the truck and popping herself up to sit on the hood, her legs crossed.

Gavin sighed one more time, looking up at the sky, his shoulders sagged and his eyes red, "do you have it?"

Man, that was fighting with Jared yesterday, walked towards the truck, taking a small crate with a singled cantaloupe in it.

He placed it in front of Gavin's feet, straightening up and looking past him to where Alice sat, "I just want to say we get it. We understand…"

He was about to finish his sentence when Morgan came behind him, hitting him over the head with the stick Alice gave them back yesterday, as he turned around he took another two blows to the side of his face, falling on the ground before Morgan started strangling him.

Ezekiel ran towards them, "Cease this!"

"Leave them be," Alice's voice broke through the commotion, her gun out, pointing at him.

"Leave them be," her face was wiped away from any kind of the emotions as she pulled the safety off, ready to shoot at anyone who dared to come between the two men on the ground.

Ezekiel was looking up and down, not sure what to do, while the rest of his people pleaded for Morgan to stop.

It was all over faster than it began, Richard was long dead when Morgan pulled his hands away from his throat, standing up and taking his stick from the ground.

"He set it all up," he looked at Gavin, Ezekiel and finally fixing his eyes on Alice, "He blocked the road yesterday, made us late. It was all him, we had your offering when we left, had it all. He took one from the cargo, and he hid it when we stopped. He wanted to get something started between the Kingdom and the Saviors, he wanted a war."

Alice looked down at the man on the ground, her eyes half opened, "punishment," she whispered to Morgan.

"Punishment," he nodded, turning around and joining his group.

"We are done here, everyone move," Gavin ordered.

"Same time next week?", he turned to Ezekiel.

"Same time next week."

OOO

Alice came back to the Sanctuary much sooner than she anticipated, as trucks pulled in, the lack of people waiting for them rose the initial alarm in her head, something was wrong.

She hopped out of the truck, looking around, no one was in the gardens, no one was on the fence and the back entry was secured with only two guards, instead of regular five.

"Hey, you," she called for the man who was walking around the catwalks, "where is everyone?"

A man looked down at her, squinting and raising his hand right above his head, shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Miss, Alice, is that you?"

"Of course it's me, who the fuck do you think it is?" she pulled her face shield and hood down, "where are the guards, why are the two of you alone up there?"

"Negan's orders, miss, he called the rest of the people to gather in the hall and before that he ordered us to light up the furnace."

"What, why?" Alice looked at Gavin who was now standing at her side.

"Don't know miss Alice, something about the mole and tiny dick."

"This one is loaded," she mumbled, so only Gavin can hear her.

"No, that Abdul, he doesn't drink."

"Are you sure?"

"He told us to wait for you and tell you to join him the moment you come back from your run," the man told her before going back to his duty.

"What is this shit about," she looked at Gavin.

"Don't know ma'am, no one told me anything about firing up the furnace before we left."

"Shit, shit, shit," Alice marched toward the hall; she didn't like this one bit.

OOO

She entered the hall through the back door, leading her directly to the place where Laura and Eugene were standing.

"What the fuck is happening Laura?" she startled the woman, making her jump in her spot while Eugene scooped up to the left, stepping as far away from Alice as possible.

"God, Alice! Stop sneaking up on people like that."

"You stop freaking out every time I do, who do you think it is, a Walker, calling you by name, you're not that fucking popular Laura."

"Ha…ha…ha… very funny."

Alice came to stand by their side, holding the rail and looking down.

Everyone was there, forming a circle around the center where Negan was, wearing his white shirt, black jeans and jacket, walking back and forth, swinging Lucile from one hand to another, he looked like he was waiting for someone.

Then he glances upwards, a smile stretching across his features, "there you are, I've been waiting for you, doll. Got a little surprise for you."

"You need me down there?".

"No, dear, stay there, you get a better view," he winked at her, before turning his attention to someone in the group.

Alice leaned over the rail, to get a better look, but she didn't see anyone unusual down there, Dwight was at the furnace, heating up the iron and Carson was standing near Negan, holding his doctor bag in his hands.

"You," Negan pointed Lucile at her direction, not looking at her, when she turned around she saw Eugene hiding behind her back, "you are gonna want to pay close attention to this."

In that moment he swung Lucile, hitting Carson's shoulder, making him drop his bag and almost fall on his side, when two Saviors came behind him, holding him and keeping him on his feet.

"No…no…no…" he cried out, "why?"

"Why… why? This is why," Negan pulled out something from his pocket, "I found this little souvenir tucked away in your desk."

Carson looked at the piece of paper Negan was holding in his hand, "I…I don't know what that is."

Negan glanced up at where Alice, Laura and Eugene were standing, running his hand over his face and hitting the man again, making him almost fall on his face before giving Lucile to one of the Saviors at his side and walking towards the pile of logs, taking a glove from the top of it, slipping it onto his hand.

Alice tighten her grip on the rail, her knuckles turning white, she didn't understand what is happening, everything was fine this morning before she left the compound, Negan didn't say a word to her about Carson, did he intentionally left her in the dark.

No, he never did that, something changed while she was away and then it hit her, Dwight.

She saw him standing not a few feet's away from Carson, his attention fixed on the fire, "you piece of trash," she growled, shaking her head, her face turning red from suppressed anger.

This was his doing she was positive.

"You knew Sherry hated Daryl being here, so you let him out for her, to be the hero, then you could move in. That is some weaselly shit right there."

"I..I don't…she ran…" Carson stuttered, looking around himself, waiting for someone to stand in his defense, but no help came.

Alice wanted to go down there, smack some sense back to Negan before he does something he will regret later on, but her hand were tie, there were not alone, they had an entire compound as a witness and if she was to stand up to him, it would only piss him off even more and she couldn't risk it, she couldn't risk falling out of the game while Dwight was still in it, so all she could do is stand there, silently witnessing the down fall of a man who was nothing but loyal to them, man who saved lives, man who kept them all alive, man who didn't deserve what he was about to get.

"She ran! You know why she ran?!" Negan's thunderous voice brought her back out of her thought and turned her attention back down.

"Because she knew I would blame her, which I did. But, see, Sherry told Dwighty boy the whole story right before she was torn apart. A super-hot girl, horrifically killed because of your greedy, delusional, tiny little prick and to top it all out, my wife," he pointed at Alice, "she has been working her pretty ass out, putting it on the line, risking her life, and spending not more than three fucking hours a day with me, so she can find Daryl and bring him back here. So your stupid hide would be safe."

"No…" Carson cried out, "it's not the truth, Dwight..tell them," he pleaded the blond man, but he didn't even turn to look at him.

"Alice.. ma'am... Please…" Carson then looked up, tilting his head to the side, tears rolling down his face.

Alice's heart clenched, as she looked at the man, eyes filled with sadness, "I'm sorry," she ghosted over her lips, shaking her head.

"Don't you fucking dare look at her! Much less, ask her to help you! You lost her best friend!"

"No…" man wept, "he is lying. I would never do that."

Alice knew he wouldn't. Her tongue was starting to hurt her from the force was biting down on it, swallowing her rage.

"Why? Why? Why would he do that? Why would he intentionally try to hurt you? Sherry's gone and if he's lying, and she's out there, I will find her. Then I will burn the other side of his face off until he dies. So, what was he gonna get out of this?"

Carson looked at Negan, "I..I don't know… I don't."

"No.. I know my Dwighty boy, he would never do that. All he needed is one night in the hole so he can come back to his senses. Ain't I right, D?"

"Ohhh, yeah."

The moment Alice heard Dwight voice her skin crawled, the confidence he felt made her sick. She thought about Daryl, how she found him sleeping near the pile of his own puke because of him, thought about how he was playing them, lying to Negan, thought about how the innocent man is about to get his face butchered because of him. The dark curtain fell over her eyes, as she reached out for her Eagle, pulling it out of the holster, her eyes fixed on Dwight.

She was about to aim when she felt a hand of hers, as she turned around Eugene was behind her, holding her hand, his face now inches away from her.

"As much as I comprehend your frustration, I would not advise that course of action."

She looked at him, her eyes wide and her lips trembling, she knew he was right, killing Dwight right there would only make things worse, her eyes fell as she placed the gun back in its place, turning around, locking her hand behind her back and turning her attention back at Negan.

He was holding the iron a few inches of Carson's face.

"Now, you know I hate this shit. Just tell me you did it and that you're sorry so I don't have to do this."

"Yes. Yes, I did it, all of it. Sorry. I'm so sorry."

Negan let the iron fall on the ground, not a few feet's away from him, "that's all you had to say." he smiled, turning around and looking up at Alice.

Her face was stone cold; she was holding his gaze, no smile appearing on her face, he found it strange, he thought she would be happy to know that the traitor was caught and punished.

He nodded and Alice knew it was not the end of it, but he was her leader, her life and whatever he was about to do she knew she had to stand by his side, good or bad, that's the package deal.

She slowly closed her eyes, taking a deep inhale, trying to find the last bit of self-control she had left.

Negan turned around, fixing his attention back to weeping doctor,

"That is all you had to say," he sighed, before grabbing him by his shoulders and throwing him into the furnace.

Screams filled the room.

Everyone eyes and mouth were frozen wide opened, the room looked like it was filled with ghosts as their faces turned white, some were averting their eyes away from the scene, some were puking, some crying, but no one could hide their shock.

No one but Alice, she was standing there, her back straight, her head held high, mouth fixed in a hard line, slowly blinking. She turned her head slowly to the side, looking down at Dwight, before turning around on her heels and leaving the room, not interested in witnessing any more of this charade.

An innocent man is dead, blood spilled and they as the community wounded.

OOO

After everything was said and done, Negan went straight to his room knowing Alice was there, when he didn't find her waiting for him outside of the hall.

When he entered the room he saw her standing near the window, her back turned away from him, she didn't ditch her gear, only her bow was resting on the table.

"Doll…" he quietly called for her.

"Yes," her voice was hard and sharp.

"Is everything alright?", he took one step towards her, not daring to go any further.

She moved her head to the side, "you just killed an innocent man, nothing is alright."

Negan's face fell, his mouth hung, lips slightly parted and his eyes were as wide as they could stretch, "what?"

Alice turned around, she was holding an empty glass of whiskey in her head, that's when Negan noticed the bottle on the table, half of what was in it that morning was gone.

"You killed Carson," she took a few long steps towards him, standing only feet away, "why? Why would you do that?", her voice was soft, calm, almost like she was singing a lullaby instead of talking.

Negan broke the distance between them, wrapping his hand around the back of her head, pulling her closer, resting his forehead against hers.

"I did it for you," he whispered, eyes fixed on her lips, "he fucking hurt you, I see it every, god damn day since Daryl escaped, your eyes don't shine like they used to, you don't smile like you used to, your nightmares are more frequent. I wake up every fucking night, hearing you scream his name, pledging him for mercy, I don't fucking know what you see but I know it is fucked up. You cry out for me every fucking night. All because of him and his selfish deluded mind. That is why I didn't just iron his fucking face, that is why I burden his sorry ass, and I will do it to again, to anyone who harms you."

Alice was quiet for few second, processing what he just told her, placing her hand on his chest and pulling him away.

"You killed a wrong man. Now you are putting a blood of innocent on my hands, why?"

Negan took one step away from her, feeling a cold fury that was boiling inside of her, he never minded her yelling, opposing him, he even enjoyed their bickering, it kept his mind sharp and made him think things over, often find a better solution, but this cold, slowly burning rage was something he never knew how to deal with.

"You are questioning me again?" was all he managed to say, mentally hitting himself over the head once the words were out.

"Yes, I am." Her cold eyes sent shivers down his spine, making his heart skip a beat.

She was standing there, cold as ice, her face never changing, he didn't know how to fight that, he needed her fire so he can have something to work with, so his anger, that was now raising up, had something to be spilled upon.

"He was not an innocent Alice, Sherry told Dwight…"

"Bullshit," all of the sudden her act fell apart, the mention of Dwight name was like a hammer, crushing the icy layer she wrapped around her anger.

"Bullshit, do you hear me! I can't believe you swallowed up shit like that. Carson, trying to seduce Sherry, give me a fucking break! Man didn't look at women who practically threw themselves on him and you believed he would go behind your back and try to get to Sherry by releasing Daryl. I hate to fucking break it to you, man, but her pussy is not made of gold and worth the risk!"

"I fucking found this in his desk," Negan took a long step, going into her face, holding a piece of paper with words, 'Goodbye honey' written on it, "this is Sherry's handwriting, Alice."

"That! That is why you killed a man!"

She pushed him away from herself, going to her bookshelf, taking Negans notebook from there, writing something down on one of the pages, then tearing it out.

"What the fuck are you doing Alice?"

"I'm going to put this fucking piece of paper in Simon's desk so you can kill him to when he comes back, while you are on a fucking roll!"

"Alice, that is not…"

"It fucking is! You killed an innocent man, a loyal man and to top it all you did it for me! You fucking smeared the blood of innocent all over my hands!"

"Alice!" Negan's voice filled the room like thunder, usually, it would make everyone pause, but not Alice, it only filled her with more rage.

"Negan!" she matched his tone. "Do you fucking see what you have done!? Do you!? We don't have a doctor now, many people here lost a friend today, many people here owed him their lives and you killed him. Don't you get the consequences of your action?"

"He was a traitor and a liar!" Negan grabbed her by the upper arm, violently pulling her towards himself, his face like a stone, jaw clenched, his nose winking up as his brow fell down.

"Dwight is a traitor and a liar, not Carson," she pulled her arm away from his grip. "I can't believe you don't fucking see it, he is lying to you, manipulating you and he is sabotaging this entire community. And you are fucking helping him without ever realizing it. Negan he is laying, Sherry is not dead; Carson did not let Daryl go, please, for the love of God, for me, please, open your eyes, before it's too late."

Negan didn't say a thing, looking at her for a long moment, taking deep breaths, trying to get his compulsion back.

"You don't know him."

"Neither do you," Alice softly whispered.

"I know him better than you think I do! I know him better than I KNOW YOU! I KNOW HIM LONGER! HE WAS HERE LONG BEFORE YOU CAME AND HE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF!"

The words were out before he could stop them, the time started to run more slowly as he watched her face falling down, her eyes closing for a long second, then turning red, teary, her lower lip started to shake as she took a deep breath in, locking her eyes with his, straightening her back.

"Good to know I haven't," was all she said as she grabbed her bow and stormed out of the room, slapping the doors so hard the part of the wall paint broke down.

Negan stood, watching after her, not being able to move.

"I'm so sorry, love," he whimpered, but no one was there to hear him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? I have. I am fucking I am free." ― Lana Del Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

_"Good to know I haven't," was all she said as she grabbed her bow and stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard the part of the wall paint broke and fell on the floor._

_Negan stood, watching after her, not being able to move._

_"I'm so sorry, love," he whimpered, but no one was there to hear him._

He stumbled down on the floor, bring his knees closer to his chest and propping his elbows on them as he ran both of his hand through his hair. He felt like his entire world just came crumbling down on him,  _'you lost her, you lost another one you cared about, you fucking idiot'_  a tiny voice in his head started repeating the same sentence over and over again.

"Doll, I'm so fucking sorry," he wept but the room was still empty, she wasn't there and the thought that she will never again be there, made him want to crawl out of his own skin.

Sheets of the unmade bed were mocking him, they were there just this morning, all over each other and now he was alone, looking at the door, waiting for them to open and her to storm in, wanting to start another argument, demanding an apology, anything, but that was not her, she never demanded a thing from him so the door stayed closed and he stayed on the floor, not knowing what to do next.

OOO

Alice walked out of the room, her visions blurry from the pressure she felt inside her head, her heart beat in his chest, banging, trying to get out.

Her hands were closed in the fists, knuckles turning white, her mind shot down, unwilling to think, unwilling to let the thoughts avert her from her goal.

"He has proven himself," Negans words were still ringing in her ears, feeding her rage.

Her legs had a mind of her own as she stormed down the stairs, pushing few Saviors out of her way, while the rest just stepped aside, gaping at her in horror.

She came to her objective, only the door standing between her and her prey as she kicked them opened with her leg.

OOO

The truck pulled in the back and Simon came out, giving the instructions to his group and looking around himself.

Negan and Alice weren't there to greet him and it made him scowl, he missed this place, being gone for days, days that felt like years, he looked down at his right hand and the grey bag filled with books he picked up for Alice and one special thing Negan asked him to find and the only reason he was gone for so long.

He was proud of himself, hunting down something so small was not an easy task and it had to be perfect, two days ago he stumbled on what he was looking for and felt relieved he was finally going home, but the lack of the welcoming party rose the alarm in his head, something was wrong he could feel it.

He left his man and went straight to Negans room, hoping to find him and Alice there, alive and well.

He softly knocked on the dark-oak door, but no sound came on the other side, he let out a defeated sigh and was about to walk away when he heard a voice coming from the room.

"Alice," it was Negan.

"No, boss, it's me, Simon," he didn't wait for Negan to let him in, he reached for the door knob and slowly opened the door, stepping inside.

The room was eerie quiet, he saw the unmade bed and sheets on the floor, he scowled, Negan was very neat man, and although Alice was messy, it didn't seem like he would fall under her influence so fast, then he looked on the other side of the room, Negan was sitting on the floor, his legs spread out in front of him, leaning on the sofa, his head resting in his hand.

"You're back?" his voice was dark.

"Yes, and I found what you were looking for, boss."

Negan looked at him, his eyes red and mouth down, he stood up, lazily walking towards the man and taking the bag out of his hand, looking inside.

"Where is it?"

"Here," Simon reached inside and pulled out small black velvet pouch out, "hope you will like it."

Negan took it, opening it and looking at the content, his eyes swelling up, filling with tears, "it's perfect, but I'm not sure I will need it."

"What? Why?" Simon was confused; he didn't just waste a week of his life for nothing.

"Does it matter," Negan closed the pouch, walking towards his nightstand and slipping it in the drawer.

"Do me a favor Simon, go find Alice make sure she doesn't do something stupid like leave."

"Why would she leave?"

"Doesn't matter, just go find her," Negan stumbled down on the bed, turning his back away from him and not uttering another word.

Simon took it as a sign to leave, as he nodded and walked outside, going down the stairs hoping to find Alice as soon as possible.

He was on the generals floor when he heard a rumble coming from Dwight's room and he knew he didn't have to look any further, where there is trouble there is Alice.

OOO

Dwight was sitting in the armchair, looking up at the ceiling, trying to wrap his mind around what he has done. The sacrifice needed to be made, for him, for Sherry, but was it worth it. She wrote in her letter that he turned into something he never wanted to be, was it true, did he really become the kind of person he once feared. Ready to take down anyone in the name of survival, and if he did, did she made him that way, did Negan made him that way or was it a part of his nature all along.

He let out a deep sigh, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, there is no point in dwelling over the spilled milk, what's done is done, now he needs to make sure Carson's sacrifice was not in vain.

He was about to get up and get a glass water when the door of his room violently opened with Alice storming in. He didn't even have time to understand what is happening before she grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up and tossing him across the room, directly in the pile of boxed in the corner.

"You lying, piece of trash," she snarled, kicking him in the stomach with the tip of her boot.

"What," he hissed through his clenched teeth.

He tried to get up, but she gave him another knock, pulling the air out of his lounges and making him stumble back on the floor.

"I know it all!" her voice filled the room.

"Know what?", he looked up at her, his face red.

"Don't you fucking dare play fool with me," she grabbed him by his collar again, pulling him up and pinning him on the wall.

She reached for her Eagle, resign it just below his jaw and pulling it up, burying the muzzle deep into his skin.

"I know Carson didn't let Daryl go," she growled, "I know Sherry is alive and I know you lied to Negan. The last fact alone is enough of the reason to blow your fucking brains out right here, right now."

"I…I…", he closed his eyes, trying to find something to say, he didn't go through all this trouble just to be gunned down in his own room.

"Shut the fuck up!", Alice didn't give him room to talk.

"I won't do it, nooo, not yet. I will go out I will find Sherry and then I will drag her ass back here so you can witness the faith I have prepared for her. Then I will kill you, but not after I make you tie her transformed ass on the fence."

"Alice," a familiar voice called for her, "shit, psycho, calm down."

It was Simon, standing in the room, his hand stretched before him as he slowly approached the pair.

"Alice, little on, listen to me, put the gun down."

"Do not come any closer, Simon, this doesn't concern you."

"Alice, please…" he stopped in the middle of the room.

Alice didn't turn around to look at him, she wasn't done with Dwight just yet, "You will pay, you will pay for Carson's death, you will pay for every sleepless night and every push and show you gave Daryl and most importantly, you will fucking pay for lying to my man, for making him kill an innocent and abusing his trust. I want you to sleep knowing that, I want you to check every fucking meal you get for poison. Oh yes, and if I see you talking to Negan without me or Simon present ever again, you will be the next missing person case around here. Hope I made myself fucking clear! Have a nice day," she moved her gun away, letting go of him and making him fall down in the pile of boxes once more.

She looked down, wrinkling her nose in disgust, her lips curled up and her nostrils flared as she spat on him, before turning around and leaving, not glancing at Simon or him.

OOO

She ran out in the courtyard, freezing in the spot at the fences where their men kept the dead ones at bay, Jared was already there, snarling and reaching for her.

She stood there watching him, remember the time when she would go down here to chit chat with Daryl in moments like this, she never told him a thing that was troubling her and he never asked twice, she missed that now more than anything, she needed that now more than ever.

She felt rejected, tossed aside and lost, suddenly the place that felt like home was strange to her like she didn't belong there. She wanted to jump over the fence and just leave, but the image of Negan stopped her, she couldn't leave him, no matter what he said to her, no matter what he did, she couldn't just turn her back, not now, not ever, even if it meant living alone in the world of strangers.

_'I know him better than I know you.'_

The memory hit her again; like vinegar, being poured over the opened wound. He was the only person she ever opened up the way she did, the only person who knew everything there is to know about here, the only person she never lied to, never felt a need to twist the facts and it felt like it was all for nothing.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, but didn't jump up, didn't turn around, her senses were numb.

"Psycho, are you alright?" Simon's soft voice called her back to reality.

She turned her head slightly to the side, her face distorted in the grimace of anger as she swung around and started hitting him in the chest.

"How dare you! How dare you ask me if I am ok? Why did you leave us in times like this, why!?" all the anger that was boiling up in her came purring out.

Simon stood there, taking every blow like a champion, not once asking her to stop. She needed it, he didn't know what's happening but he saw she was racked.

"Psycho," he called for her once her blows soften and he saw she was getting tired.

"No, don't psycho me," she swept away one tear that escaped her, "Daryl escaped after you left! We lost him! He killed fat Joe on his way out! Do you hear me, Simon, Joey is dead! Sherry was the one that caused all this mess and guess fucking what! She escaped too! Dwight is walking around telling everyone she is dead and I fucking know he is lying! And to top it all, Negan just killed Carson today because of him! So no Simon, I am not alight. I've spent days trying to tie all this shit up alone! And where were you in all that? You promised you will help me when I needed help!"

Simon didn't know what to say to her, she was right, he left her at the worst possible time, but it was not his fault, how could he have known what was to come.

"Alice, I… I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't! No one here knows shit!"

She walked past him ready to leave when he grabbed her by her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"What do you care?"

"I…"

"He sent you to make sure I am don't leave, didn't he?"

"I…"

"I won't leave Simon, you can go, rest."

"Alice, please, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Simon?"

"Tell me about Dwight, why do you suspect him, tell me about the progress you made looking for Daryl and tell me where do you think Sherry could be. I wasn't here to help you before, but I am here now. Please psycho, talk to me."

Alice stared at him for a long, long moment, not talking trying to see does he really mean it or is he following another one of Negan's orders.

"Psycho, come on, this is me," he took a step closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

She broke at that moment, hugging him as tightly as she could, burying her face in his shoulder. The past days made her forget she had a brother in him, someone she could trust and rely on when no one was there to listen and unlike Daryl, Simon was the only person who knew everything she and Negan went through and only person standing by their side, making sure they don't kill each other.

Simon was surprised, he didn't expect her to hug him and wasn't used to her showing this kind of affection, so he wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could, realizing how broken and wounded she really was at that moment.

"I fucking missed you mustache man."

"I missed you too, psycho."

They had their dinner outside of the factory on one of the benches placed near the gardening part of the courtyard. Alice told him everything that happened after he left, from Daryl's escape, her killing Jared to Carson's demise, she told him why she suspected Dwight is lying to them and why she thinks he can't be trusted. Simon sat there, carefully listening to her every word, interrupting only when he had a question, the sun started to set down when they finished and Alice stood up, taking her bow and getting ready to do her daily perimeter checks.

"You do this every night?" Simon walked her to the gates.

"Yup, every night."

"And what would happen if he were to show up?"

Alice's head fell, as she took her Eagle out of its holster, running her fingers over the engravings on the barrel.

"I kill him," she whispered weakly.

OOO

Negan was still in his room when the sun went down, sitting on the sofa and looking at the door, waiting for them to open up and Alice to walk in, the hours have passed before he made his peace, she is not coming back to this room, not tonight and possibly never again.

He let out a long sigh, running his hand over his face, he thought about finding her and dragging her back, but he quickly dismissed the idea, knowing it would only make things worse.

He stood up, walking toward the sheets, collecting them off the floor, throwing them back on the bed before he took off his clothing and laid down. He didn't know why he did that, known there was no way he was getting any sleep tonight, the bed was too big, too cold, room too quiet, everything pulled on his nerves, making his skin itchy.

He tossed and turned around for what it felt like an eternity, he could swear sun decided not to come out ever again, he stood up looking at the clock on Alices side of the bed, it wasn't even an hour since he decided to try and sleep.

"What the fuck, you got to be shitting me!" he took a clock and shook it a few times before throwing it against the wall.

"Fucking, Jesus, Christ, I am pathetic," he went out and walked across the hall, opening the room where his ex-wives were. The living room was empty, which didn't surprise him, it was almost 1 am everyone is sleeping by now, everyone except him.

"What the fuck am I doing here," he walked toward the bar, taking a bottle of beer and opening it.

"Negan," a soft voice came from the other side.

He turned around, Misha was standing at the doorway that led to their rooms, wearing see through black laced negligee, she was barefoot so when she stood close to him she barely reached the middle of his chest.

"Why are you here?", she looked up, placing her hand on his cheeks, just like Alice always did.

"I…I don't know," he closed his eyes, imagining she was there instead of Misha.

"I know," woman purred, standing a bit closer to him, "I know what you want. I know what you need," she unbuckled his belt, pulling her hand in his jeans.

"I always knew what you need," she stood up on her fingers, kissing his jawline.

His eyes were closed the entire time, imagining Alice being there with him, but when Misha pulled him closer, it made his guts turn, it was not Alice, her lips were different, her kisses more gentle, her hands more eager, her smell much more delicate.

"No," he pulled the woman away from himself, opening his eyes, "no."

He stormed to his room, directly to the bath, he leaned over the sink, breathing heavily, he looked himself in the mirror, he could swear he aged at least a decade since the last time he saw her, he glanced over the gilded frame, remember how she made him get up in the middle of the night to install that thing on the wall.

She was giggling and jumping like a little girl once it was up, hugging him tightly and looking at their reflection in the mirror.

"See, now we have a big enough mirror so the both our reflection can fit in it and we don't even have to hunch."

"Fuck this shit," he grabbed Lucile that was resting on the table and went out of the room, down the corridor and stairs, to the lieutenant floor. He stood on the first door to the left, old Alice's room, reaching for the door knob and walking inside, hoping to find her there.

But to his surprise the room was empty, looking like it hasn't been used ever since she moved out, his heart skipped a beat, his breath failing him, did she leave, did she decided he was not worth the trouble anymore.

"Alice!" he yelled, waking everyone up, few of the Saviors went outside to see what is happening as he was beating on the walls calling her name.

"Alice, where the fuck are you!?"

"She went around the corner a few hours ago," Laura told him, once he reached her doors.

"What?! Where did she go?"

"Around the corner," the woman pointed at the green door on the end of the hall, "to that room."

"Of course she did," his lips twitched up in the smile, his voice softening as he looked at the door, "thank you, Laura."

He went to Daryl's room, walking inside, not bothering to knock.

She was sitting on the floor, hugging her legs close to her chest, she was awake, looking at her reflection in the black TV screen.

"I was looking for you, doll," he said softly sitting down beside her.

"I know, I heard you," she was calm, distant, her voice cold.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Trying to sleep."

"How's that going?"

"It was fine until you decided to wake everyone up," she lied.

Negan fell silent, looking down at the bat resting on his lap, running his fingers over the barbed wire.

"I thought you fucking left so I freaked out."

"I told Simon I was not going to leave. You should know better than that, or you shouldn't, I'm not sure anymore."

He wanted to say something, opening his mouth but then instantly closing them, he didn't know what to say to make things better, to say he didn't mean it was too big of a cliché for her to believe in it.

"Are you coming back to our room?"

"Do you want me there?" she turned her head to look at him, her eyes darting back and forth, her jaw clenched tight.

"What kind of a fucking question is that? Of course, I want you there, you belong there."

"Do I?", her head fell down, "it doesn't seem like that from where I am standing."

"What the fuck do you want me to do, doll? What the fuck do you want me to say? I'm fucking sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't fucking mean what I said? I….I.. fuck."

He ran his hand over his face, pulling it down, he didn't know how to fix this, he didn't know what to say to make her believe him.

"Then why did you say it?"

"You know I fucking blabber around when I am mad, I don't mean half the shit I say. C'mon, doll, you should know it better than anyone by now."

She lifted her head, looking back at the TV screen and their reflection in it.

"Yes, you do that. But this was different, with me it's always different. When you say something to other people, I can see you don't mean it, there are no emotions in your voice, no anger in your eyes, you look like an actor, reciting the words someone else wrote. It is all part of the act, but not a part of you, not the part of who you really are. But when it comes to me, your words are sharp, forceful, like a tank, running over the towers of trust we built, pulling every little thing he shared underneath my feet and then you stand there in shock, why did I fall? Why you are so surprised at the effect your words have on me is something I won't ever understand and I made peace with that. The first time you did it, I was in shock, I didn't know what to do, how to react, I think you won't ever understand how close I was at leaving that night. But now, I just tense up, deflect, try to understand what is hidden behind them. What fear, what emotion. I try to see things from your perspective, I try to read every emotion that governs over you at moments like that, even the ones you are not aware of. And I understand, most of the time I fucking get it, that is why I never stay mad for long. After everything I have done for you, after everything I endured for you, and believe me, it is not fucking easy, sometimes I wish I never took your offer and just stayed outside, alone, with no life to care for, but then I turn around and I see you, see your smile and I realize I would never give that up, for anything. But then you go and say you don't know me, you don't trust me. Why? What did I ever do to deserve that?

"Fucking shit," he saw it then, the only way he is getting out of this one is, to tell the truth, the truth is the only thing she will believe in.

"When you said everything you did, I… I fucking realized that I may have made a mistake. The thought about Dwight lying to me, jerking his lies down my throat me swallowing that shit like an eager whore and killing an innocent man because of nothing, I don't fucking know, doll. It made me feel like a fucking marionette that everyone is using to do their dirty work for them. So I said what I said to, I don't fucking know, to hurt you maybe, to punish you for daring to make me face the truth, maybe reassure myself, I don't fucking know. God damn it, doll, you spilled all that over me and I didn't know how to fucking defend myself. I made a mistake. I am so fucking sorry. I don't know what to say or do to make you believe me. I…"

He didn't get to finish his thought them she shut him up, roughly kissing his lips, taking him by surprise. When she pared away from him, he opened his eyes, his mouth still leaning towards her lips, eager for more. She placed her hand on his cheek, stroking his face with her thumb.

"That's all you need to fucking do, to be honest with me, that's all I fucking ask of you. I should apologize as well, I didn't fucking handle the situation with too much grace, not that I ever do, " she nervously giggled, "I.. I… I can't fucking live without you and the thought that someone is playing with your trust and not knowing to what end, it fills me with dread. I fear I will lose you and I don't fucking know how to deal with that."

"I told you, you won't fucking lose me, doll," he leaned closer to her.

"But you never promise."

"No, I don't," he let out a defeated sigh, taking her hand and looking down at it, "can we go back to our room now, I am tired."

"Yes, we may," she smiled, standing up and giving him her hand helping him to get up as well before he took her in his arms and carried her back to their room.

OOO

Alice was standing in the white room, walls around her shining, she took a few steps and saw the surface of the floor moving, making tiny waves around her feet.

"Not this again," she looked around the room same nightmare as always.

"You know I will kill him?" Daryl's voice rang through the room.

"What," she panicked, "bad boy, where are you?" She ran across the room, trying to find a black doorknob that usually led to the black room where Negan was.

"I am Daryl," again his voice, before the room started to shake and all four walls broke down, revealing four black rooms that were surrounding the white cube she was standing on.

"What the," she turned around herself, in every room she could see Negan, standing in the middle, swinging Lucile.

"Doll you made it, oh, am I glad to see you," all four of them spoke at the same time, filling the rooms with echoes as they spread their arms and started to walk towards her before finally stopping, their feet glued to the floor as they started to jerking them up, calling for her to help.

She didn't move from the center of her cube, not know where to go, not like it would be of any use, she could never save him.

That was when from the dark in the room, left of her, Daryl emerged, aiming his crossbow, ready to shot Negan in the back.

Alice panicked, "Nooooo," she started to run but was too late, she didn't even make it half the way when she saw an arrow being shot right thought Negans back, its head coming out on the other side.

She was about to cross to the other room, ready to hit the invisible wall, but it never happened, as she ran to Negan cradling his dead body close to his chest, choking in tears.

"Nooo, baby, nooo. Come back to me!" she wept, sweeping his hair from his forehead.

"You," she looked up, ready to face Daryl and get her revenge, but he was not there.

She turned around to see him in the room across her, aiming at still alive Negan who was trapped there. She jumped up, running to save him, pleading Daryl to stop, but he didn't listen to her and again she was too slow. The same thing happened again in the third room. When she turned around and saw him in the fourth room she didn't even bother to run all the way to it, she fell on her knees in the middle of the white cube she was first in, crying.

"Noo. Noo! Negan! Why are you showing this to me?!"

"I killed your men," she saw a pair of black boots standing in front of her and heard an unfamiliar voice, she looked up and it was Dwight, grinning down at her.

"I killed your man. Alice, using your friend, poetic, " he started to laugh.

She was about to stand up from the floor and end him but the hand reached up for hers then another one, then another one, pulling her down into the floor like they always would. She started jerking her hand, wanting to break free, there was no way she is going down before she kills the bastard responsible for Negan's death.

But the more she fought; hands gripped more tightly, pulling her down faster. She gave in closing her eyes and accepting her faith. She felt herself being swallowed entirely when another pair of hands reached for her, gripping her around her armpits pulling her up on the surface. When she opened her eyes she saw Daryl pulling her up and crying.

"I'm so sorry, Alice. I'm so sorry! You promised me she will live," he looked up, talking to Dwight, who was looking down at them, grinning.

Alice reached for one of the arrows on Daryl's back and stabbed it in his neck.

"Murdered," she growled, as she pulled on the arrow, bringing his face closer to her.

Hand reached up for her again, pulling her down together with Daryl, Dwight's laughter sending them off.

OOO

Alice woke up, taking a deep inhale and fighting for air when she found herself being safely tucked close to Negans chest.

He was laying on his side, his arms and legs wrapped around her as he pulled her as close to himself as possible. She probably screamed again in her sleep waking him up.

He kissed the top of her head and as he started slowly rocking her side to side, softly singing.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky."

She couldn't help herself as she started laughing.

"What the fuck, doll, you are ruining the moment."

"Really, man, twinkle, twinkle little star?"

"Well fuck me doll, that the only lullaby I know. Now go to sleep and I will start all over again."

He pulled her head back in the crook of his neck and started to sing again.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you fucking are, up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the fucking sky."

"Now that's much better," Alice giggled, kissing him, "thank you."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She didn't need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms and sleep as a child sleeps, knowing that someone stronger than you is protecting you from all evil and all danger" ― Paulo Coelho, Brida

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

The weeks went by with a blink of an eye before she even knew it a month has passed since Daryls escaped, no word about him, no one saw him anywhere, it was like the earth has opened up and swallowed him.

Alice was going around the outskirts of Sanctuary, walking the same path she walked so many times before when she saw a deer eating peacefully not far from her.

"Bingo," she smiled. She didn't like killing animals; it was something her father thought her not to do. 'we have plenty of what we need, there is nothing good in taking lives just because you can.'

She always lived by that principle, but now, they didn't have what they need and one good kill is worth now more than a good car or full bank account was worth then.

She aimed her bow, steadying it and getting ready to shot when she saw a man standing not far from the deer, looking at her.

He was wearing ragged old clothing, his hair was long and filthy and his face looked almost gray from all the dust and mud collected on it.

Alice shifted her bow from the animal to a man, slowing standing up and walking towards him.

They found a large group of people not long ago, ten men and around five women, they were strangers, living from day to day, without any community or anything worthy of taking, so Negan decided to use them the best way possible and accepted them into their big merry band of misfits. Most of them, except two older men, were put on guard duty and received proper weapon training, of course not before they received a good lesson on rules and behavior.

Few days after they started living with them, Alice got a chance to talk with one of the women from the group who was guarding the entrance just as she was getting ready for her scouting round, that's when she found out her father was missing, disappearing few days before they found them and that she was concerned was he alive or not.

So Alice assumed that this man could be the father this woman is looking for so she decided it was worth a shot talking to him.

"Who are you?" she asked him.

"A friend," a man replied, his voice cold, calm, unnatural.

"Sorry, man, but I don't have friends."

"Neither do we."

"We?" Alice turned around, but there was no one except the two of them.

"I'm alone if that's what you are asking. But at the same time, I am not. We've been watching you, your group, your leader."

Alice skin crawled, she was ready to shoot him on the spot, "stay away from Negan," she growled.

"We mean him no harm," man tilted his head to the side, "but others do, and we know all about their plans. They want to kill you, kill your leader, take your community, we know it all."

"What the fuck are you talking about."

The man stretched his lips into a smile, "your people are a curious group. You don't work for what you get, you take it. We respect that, we are like you in so many ways. But our luck is poor, not like yours. You and your leader live like king and queen, while my leader lives in an old trash container. Your people feast on fresh meat while my people throw away rotten cans. Your clothing is clean, your hair combed and you smell like spring flowers. "

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Alice took one step backward, away from the man.

"Your smell, it's hard not to notice it when all you have smelled for the past three years was garbage cans and rotting flesh."

"Alright man, if you don't start making some fucking sense quickly I will shoot you."

"I apologize, I got carried away," his smiled widened, showing the line of yellow teeth, "we have something you want and if you can make us a better deal than other group did, it is yours."

"What group, what deal?"

"Here is all you need to know," man extended his hand holding a piece of paper.

Alice surveyed him up and down, before taking a large and quick step forward, snatching a note from his hand.

"We'll be waiting for you," man turned around, walking away.

Alice scowled, looking down at the piece of dark brown paper in her hand, before heading back to the Sanctuary.

OOO

"What the fuck is this shit, doll?" Negan was sitting on the sofa, with Simon in the armchair across from him and Alice pacing back and forth from one side of the room to another.

"I don't fucking know, I'm telling you, he just showed up in the woods and gave me that."

"But did he say anything about it?" Simon scratched his head as he looked up at her.

"I already repeated our entire fucking conversation to you, several times, over again. The man was creepy as shit and that means something coming from me."

"I don't like this, boss," Simon looked at Negan who was again reading the note Alice gave him.

_'Come to the junkyard, 40 miles to the east._

_We have something you want and you have many things we need._

_Jadis'_

"What do they have?" Negan mumbled, more to himself than to them.

"He spoke about someone wanting to take us down; maybe they have them or some info on them. We need to check it out. Give me some of our men and I'll go," Alice sat down on the sofa next to him.

"No fucking way, doll, you are not doing this alone. I'm coming on this one. I want to be the one to squeeze them out of all the info they have about these traitorous bastards."

"This may be an ambush, boss."

Negan clutched his jaw in the hard-line, swallowing heavily, Simon was right, walking there blindly is too dangerous.

"You can't go, if anyone is trying to ambush us, you are their primary target. Please. let me and Simon deal with this."

"Fuck it, if I will stay here hiding away like a damned coward. If they want me, they can fucking come and try to take me. I am not sitting on my ass while you risk your life for me, again. I am coming on this one, it's not up for a fucking debate."

Simon and Alice looked at him, giving up on trying convincing him it is for the best if he stayed back in the Sanctuary. On the end he was right, leader hiding away while his generals go out and fight his battles was not a way to earn anyone's respect.

"Alright then," Alice nodded, "we need a hell of a plan if we are doing this, also, one more thing."

Alice looked down afraid to voice was she was about to ask Negan, but he was way ahead of her, turning to Simon.

"No word about this to anyone from the compound, we are taking our people from one of the outposts. You sent the word that we are coming so they can get ready, we are leaving tomorrow around noon, spending a night in the outpost and leaving the next morning for this fucking meeting."

"We should find an outpost that's as far away as possible from this junk group but also from the base."

"Why?", Negan looked at her.

"Because, if we are to trust them we need a security and I know just a way to get it."

She smiled, glancing in between Simon and Negan.

OOO

"Ok, people this is how this shit is going down," Negan address the group of Saviors that lived in the outpost sixteen miles away from Sanctuary and around thirty miles away from the junkyard.

They weren't comfortable with the distance from the unknown group, but the outpost was in the middle of the woods, with no direct path leading to it and was not visible from the road. It was their emergency outpost if something was to happen and they needed to go into hiding. So it was stocked with the food, water, and supplies that could feed an army for six months and that was just what they needed.

He, Simon and Alice left the main base yesterday, later than they planned, telling everyone they have a potential new outpost to check out and that they won't be back for few days, leaving Arat in charge.

Negan didn't like that idea, fearing how his men will handle taking orders from a woman, but Alice insisted, pointing out that she too is a female and they fear her more than they do any male Saviors who lived there. It didn't put his mind at ease, he knew they fear her because they saw what she was capable of, but still, Arat was a better choice than Dwight at the moment and with Gary watching her back things should run smoothly.

He was not feeling all too well, sleeping on an old bed didn't do his back any favors but it did give Alice enough material to tease him that entire morning because she was feeling as well as she always did.

"What is it, old man, your back is hurting you?"

"Fuck you, Alice, that bed is a disaster, we are going back home the moment we are done with this shit."

"Awww, are you getting spoiled in the middle of Apocalypse."

"It easy for you to give me shit, you'd been using me as a fucking mattress through the entire night."

"I can't help it, you're so comfortable," she leaned closer, poking him.

"Are you fucking calling me fat."

"No," and with that she ran away, going outside and joining the Saviors gathered there.

He let out a defeated sigh, slowly following after her with a wide smile stretching across his face.

"Ok, people this is how this shit is going down, a third of you are going with me and Simon, while the rest of you are following Alice. My group is entering the front gate or whatever they have, we are negotiating the terms with them, in a diplomatic way. So no playing fucking maniacs, did I make myself clear! "

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Alice's group is following her lead, whatever she fucking orders you to do; it is set in stone, no trying to find a better way, no defiling the orders. If she fucking asks you jump naked around the Junkyard you better fucking ask, how high and how far! Now is that fucking clear as well?"

Again everyone nodded.

"Alright doll, pick your group."

Alice came to stand in front of the Savior's, surveying them.

"Alright people, this is how we play. I need agile and fast people, people who can climb and crawl without raising every fucking alarm in the 30miles radius. If you are more for a grunt work and like guns more than knives, you are going with Negan. Just so we are clear there will be no need for jumping."

"And nudity?" one man from the back yelled,

"Well, only if you feel more comfortable without your clothes on."

"No... There will be no fucking nudity," Negan interrupted jealously, making half of them laugh.

"Sorry, man, you heard the boss," Alice giggled, looking at him.

After they picked up the groups, they chose the vehicles they are taking, Alice and her group took cars, leaving half an hour before Negan's group, making a wide circle around the Junkyard and finding their way in, from the back.

Negan's and Simon's group took one of the bigger trucks, hoping to turn all the attention on them so Alice and her group can infiltrate without being seen.

"Are you ready, doll?" Negan took her to the side, away from rest of their people.

"As ready as a woman can be." She smiled weakly.

"Are you sure there is a back entrance?"

"Yeah, I am. Remember I have been scouting these parts for two years. I know the Junkyard they are held in. Never got inside but unless they remade the entire back fence there won't be any problems. Let's just hope maneuvering through that entire rumble won't take too much of our time. I would still feel much more comfortable with an hour of a head start. "

"No way, Alice, I'm not even happy with a half an hour I gave you."

"Forty-five minutes, then?" She made the best puppy face she could, stepping closer to him, pulling her hand beneath his shirt, "I promise, I will make it worth your while, once we get back home," she brought her face closer to his, arching her brows.

Negan grouted, "alright, doll. You get forty-five minutes, not a second more and you better fucking make up for it."

"Oh, I will," she wrapped her hand around the back of his head, giving him a long kiss.

"See you inside, lover boy," she winked, turning around, getting into a red car and driving away.

Negan looked around himself, the rest of the Saviors were looking at him, smirking.

"What the fuck are you all looking at!? Get back to work; we have forty-five minutes to get ready. I don't want any problems on our way to those motherfuckers!"

OOO

The trip to the junkyard went smoothly and took much less time than they anticipated. That got Negan worried, if Alice didn't have their luck then they arrived even before them and that was not good.

"Greetings," an older man welcomed them, his hair was combed back in desperate try to hide the fact that he was going bald, he was wearing a long ragged west, fingerless woolen gloves on his hands and old leather boots. It surprised Negan how much his outfit resembled Alice's, it was pale imitation of hers but still the resemblance was there, if he didn't know her and was to meet her tomorrow he would be sure she was a part of this strange group, even the way man held himself reminded him of how she used to be right after he met her.

"We are glad you decided to accept our invitation, please follow me."

Negan looked behind himself, nodding to his group, propping Lucile on his shoulder and continuing to follow the man in silence.

He led them through the maze of tall walls, made entirely of old cars and other heavy junk.

"How the fuck will Alice get to us?" , he thought to himself before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

It was Simon, who just caught up with him.

"Easy there, boss, we need to buy her time not take it away."

That's when Negan turned around only then realizing how fast he was walking. The rest of his group was at least twenty feet behind him, catching their breath as they tried to walk faster.

He only nodded, his face darkening, he didn't like the looks of this place and the fact that he knew Alice was here somewhere, without him, only made him more nervous.

"Welcome," a female voice brought him out of his thought, she was almost as tall as Alice, her hair, cut short in even bob with bleached ends.

"My name is Jadis."

Negan survey her from head to toe, turning his head, looking around himself, they were in the middle of the Junkyard, cars moved to the side to form a circle around them, on the top of the wall stood at least twenty people all of the holding weapons and down in the middle just as many.

They were heavily outnumbered, his group counting only ten Saviors, without him and Simon, the whole plan started to look like one big mistake.

"Well this doesn't look like a warm fucking welcome I was promised to receive," he finally decided to talk, trying to drag out the negations as much as possible.

"We are cautious," a woman spoke in calm robotic tone.

"Well, pardon my fucking manner, but inviting people to your home and greeting then with guns draw out is no way to treat guests."

"You are not our guest."

"Then what the fuck are we?"

"For a moment our prisoners, then, if we manage to make a deal our ally's."

"What?!" Negan almost bashed woman's head in with Lucile before Simon stopped him.

"Easy there, boss, let's hear what they have to say."

Negan turned his head to Simon, scowling, then it hit him, Alice, fuck.

"Alright, I am fucking listening, you better make this good."

"It's quite simple actually, we have info about people conspiring to take you down and you have supplies. Half of what you own is what we ask for and one of your outposts."

"You are fucking insane, I have at least five times more men than you do, I am not giving you half of our shit. I need to provide for them."

"And I need to provide for my people," woman didn't lose her temper for one second, "we live here in this place, no fresh air, no clean space to sleep, no good food to eat. We thought about not going to you and just joining the group that already found us. But we decided to find out what are you all about and we liked it. You have much more than they do and we need much more than they are offering. So the math was simple, we join you; you give us what we want."

Negan's laughter took them all by surprise as he leaned back a bit, looking up at the sky, he was not stupid, he knew exactly who asked for their help.

"So what did, Rick the prick, offer you?"

Woman's face fell, her eyes widening, she looked around herself, confused.

"Oh, come the fuck on, he is the only person I know who is stupid enough and has balls big enough to even think about going to war with me. Now I ask you one more time, what did he offer you?"

Woman straighten her back, locking her hand behind her back, getting her act back together.

"Does it matter? You give us a better offer and our service is yours."

"Well, I need to know what the fuck he offered you so I can top it. Or am I supposed to be psychic?"

"We already told you what we ask for."

"And if I give you that, which I fucking won't, what's stopping you to turn your back on me like you did to Rick?"

"You have our word."

"Your word is not good enough to wipe my ass with it."

Woman cleared her throat, lifting her hand up and flexing her fingers, at that moment Scavengers draw their weapon aiming them at Negans group.

"We seem to be at an impasse here, I will ask you one more time, will you give us what we are asking for?"

"I fucking told you I won't!", Negan was losing it, "but hey I am a fair man, let's ask my people what they think about your offer. Simon, should we take this shitty deal?"

"No," Simon shook his head, a smile stretching across his face.

"Saviors, should we take this deal?"

"No," all his men said in unison.

"See," Negan hissed, "I am outvoted here, even if I wanted to push my people in a shithole I can't. What a fucking shame."

"Shame indeed."

Jadis looked around her group nodding.

They all slid down from the makeshift walls, joining the rest of the scavengers in the middle, lifting their guns up.

"You are our prisoners now."

"And what are you going to fucking do to us?" he smiled.

"We will ask for the best offer we can get for you, either from your people or Ricks group. You are very valuable, I am sure we can get even better price than we asked for."

"And who the fuck is going to give you all that, don't know if you heard the news but Santa Fucking Clause doesn't exist and Rick doesn't have that kind of supplies. I know, because I took it all away from him."

Negan took a long step forward, getting in woman's face, Lucile in between them.

"Your woman will pay us or Rick will take it from her and give it to us, we don't care."

Negans face fell at the mention of Alice, they knew who she was to him, did they know she came with him, he turned pale in a second, moving away from Jadis and turning around himself, trying to spot her. No, they didn't have her; if they did they would have used her as the leverage already.

"She is so protective over you, she will give us all we want," a man spoke, that's the first time Negan noticed him, but he knew who he was from the description Alice gave him, that was the man she saw in the woods.

"Too bad she didn't come with you, such beauty is rarely seen in a world like this. I bet she is a wild one in the bed. I would kill for a chance to taste her, but all is not lost, I'm sure she will be more than willing after she finds out we have her man."

At that moment Negan lost it, black curtains falling over his eyes, he swung Lucile hitting a man over the head with it, over and over again.

"Nooo," one woman from the group cried out as one man came from behind Negan, drawing the knife out and placing it over his throat.

"Drop the bat," he growled into his ear.

Negan came back to his senses, looking down at the squishy mess that was once the head of a living person.

'There goes our diplomatic,' he thought ran across his mind as he stood up, knife still on his throat.

Jadis walked towards him, getting into his face, "the bat is now ours, and the price has just gone up."

She didn't look fazed with the death of one of her people; her demeanor was still cold and stonic, like a machine, deprived of any emotion.

"What, you are going to let him live!" , the same woman shouted, drawing her gun out and pointing it at Negan.

"If you don't kill that bastard, I will."

In that second she fell, dead, the arrow going straight through her chest.

Fifteen Saviors came pouring out from the back path which led to the center of the yard, surrounding the Scavengers.

"Drop the knife," everyone turned around, looking up.

On the top of the wall, Alice was standing her arrow drawn, aiming it at Jadis with fifteen more Saviors with her, all of them had their weapon drawn and were aiming them at the center of the circle.

"No," Jadis said calmly.

"Oh, I'm so fucking sorry if I made it sound as if you had more than one option," Alice shot her arrow, hitting one man in the leg.

"Tell your man to drop the knife or the next one is going straight through the center of your head then more of your people die. I already killed two of them on my way here, do you really want to add up to the number of walkers who now inhabit this shit post you call home. DROP THE KNIFE!"

A woman fell quiet, looking around herself, half of her people already had a gun pointed at them while the other half didn't stand a chance if the group from above started shooting them down.

"Drop the knife."

She turned to the man who was holding Negan.

A man looked at her scowling, before dropping his knife and pushing Negan in front of himself, making him stumble on the ground, he didn't even take on step away from where he was standing before an arrow found its path straight through his shoulder, making him fall to his knees.

"You don't fucking do something like that expect to get away unpunished."

Alice growled, barely keeping herself from killing everyone.

Negan stood up, brushing the dust from his jeans before turning around and hitting the man that treated him, making him fall on his back and pulling out the arrow from his shoulder, adding up to the pain he was in.

"I got all dirty. Dear wife, what the fuck took you so long," he looked up while the rest of the saviors slid down from the walls and started taking weapons from the Scavengers.

"I apologize, dear husband. This place is a fucking maze and shame on you for starting the party without me."

She came to stand in front of him, smirking, before he grabbed her by her upper arms, pulling her closer in a hungry kiss not minding the audience.

"Did I miss anything," she smiled.

"Well," Negan turned to the side his arm still locked around her waist, looking at the dead body with a smashed head on the ground, "nothing out of the ordinary."

"And who is this lovely lady, here," Alice left his embrace, walking around Jadis, surveying her.

"That my dear is Jadis. Jadis say 'hello', to my lovely wife."

The woman followed Alice movement, not speaking.

Alice stood in front of her, scanning her once more from head to toe, her hand locked over her chest, waiting for a woman to greet her.

"Is she mute?" Alice turned her head to the side, looking at Simon as he collected the guns and placed them in a neat pile.

"She was pretty fucking talkative not long ago."

"Was she now, I heard only some parts of it, while trying to find our way over that fucking wall, something about, taking my man as a hostage and blackmailing me. Oh, and something other man said about raping me. I can only assume that's the fucker with his head crushed. As I understood you were watching us for some time now. Tch, tch, tch, your scouts or you are really fucking stupid if you thought we will come here with only a fistful of men."

"Every equation can be miscalculated," the woman finally spoke, the tone of her voice still the same.

She turned her head slightly, looking at her people, "so, are you going to kill us, now?"

"Oh, I wish I could. But you know, we have an arrangement, me and my man, I can't kill anyone without his fucking permission. I know, it fucking sucks," she rolled her eyes, " but that's just how marriage works, you have to make a lot of fucking compromises. I don't kill everyone that crosses me and he doesn't pee on the toilet seat."

Negan cleared her throat, turning everyone's attention back to him, "Are you ladies done gossiping, we have some business to discuss."

"Oh, yeah, I totally forgot someone is conspiring to kill us. I apologize once more," Alice walked away from the woman, standing at Negan's side.

"So, are you fucking ready for the new terms of our agreement?"

"Let's hear it."

"Alice, doll, do you want to practice your diplomacy or should I take over this one?"

"No, I think I got it handled. This is how it goes, we are taking everything Rick promised to give you, which is technically ours, giving how he works for us and also twenty of your people, five capable man, five capable women, five young ones and five old ones. They are coming with us, we are going to take care of them, they will live like fucking kings and queens, while you infiltrate our enemy territory, pretending to be on their side, feed us information and on the end, help us to put things back in the order. When it is all done, we will give you your people back, if any of them chose to stay they will be permitted, if you chose to join us, you will be permitted. The ones that decided they want to leave and I don't really know why they would, but living here and inhaling this smell can really fuck up everyone's mind, so who knows what is going on in there, they will also be permitted, without any consequences. Oh yes, and as a bonus, I am taking that man who held a knife to Negans throat, you know, for an entertainment when I get bored. "

Jadis looked at the pair for a long second, walking towards them and standing only two feet's away.

"Ten of our men and half of what Rick promised us."

"Eighteen and two-thirds of what Rick promised you and that wounded pile of shit there."

"Fifteen, half of what Rick has promised us and one night with you man when this is done," Jadis got into Alice's face, placing her hand on Negan's shoulder.

"You got to be fuck kidding me," Negan laughed, they just killed two of them, wounded two and are about to take almost half of them as hostages and she wants to fuck him, he just couldn't believe it, if this was the world from before he would go and try to find a hidden camera. But wait, then it hit him, Alice didn't say no.

"Alice, doll…"

"Well now," she side eye him, smirking, "how about this. Twenty of your people, half of shit Rick promised you, that wounded pile of shit is staying here and you get to keep your hand."

Alice snatched the hand from Negans shoulder, pulling Jadis closer and pulling out her machete, bringing the blade close to woman's wrist.

"And I am being really fucking generous here giving how close I am of killing you. "

"You'd be taking half of my people."

"No, we fucking won't," Alice laughed, "I know you have more than this group here. We found your settlement while getting here and we counted at least fifty beds. Now, I believe not everyone is fit to fight that is why we are taking your old ones and younger ones as well. To take some burned off. "

"Alright, we have a deal."

"Great," Alice elated, "now pick the people that are going with us. Also, we are taking your weapons, we will leave them at the front gate so you can collect them once we are gone."

OOO

"Are you sure we can trust these people," Simon asked them while they were driving back to their outpost. He was driving, with Negan on the far side of the front seat of the truck they came in and Alice in between them. They had loaded up the people Jadis assigned to be taken, in the back, with two cars Alice driven with her group in front of them and two cars behind them.

"Abso-fucking-lutely not. All we can hope is that us having almost half of their people will give them a pause."

"That's why we took children and the old ones, play on the emotions and get crap done," Alice joined the conversation.

"That woman didn't look like she cared at all for the people we killed, why would she care about the ones we took from them."

"Because she cares, her act can fool many but not me."

"I still don't like having them as an ally's. You heard what that man said he'll do to Alice."

Negan shifted uncomfortably in his seat when Simon mentioned the man, not commenting on the subject, Alice turned her head, looking at him, his eyes were glued on the crumbled buildings of what once was a small town.

She placed her hand on his, squeezing it.

"He won't be talking no more," she smiled as he turned his head, locking his eyes with hers.

"No, he fucking won't, doll," he leaned closer gently kissing her. The words that man said etched in his mind, he made the Sanctuary to protect people from things like that and somewhere along the way he forgot that the outside world doesn't abide by his rules.

"Will you two get a room or something."

The ride back to the outpost took much longer than the ride to the Junkyard did, as they arrived the sun started settling down.

"Alright, you sorry shits, listen up!"

Negan addressed the new group.

"This is your new fucking home, for now. In the future we will see, you will be more than welcome to stay with us but some rules you need to know. We all pull our weight around here and the quality of your life will depend on how hard you push. Children will be getting their meals that include vegetables regularly all they need to do is not stay in the way of adults doing their work. If they want to learn something or help around they are more than welcome to do so as long as that doesn't interfere with anyone's duties. You work for points and you spend them on whatever you fucking want, you all get two regulars meal a day, crappy meals but still meals. If you want more quality food you spend your points on it. Generals and Guards don't work for points but none of you will get a chance to become one until this fucking mess is dealt with and you won't be granted the accesses to our main base until you join us. And one more thing! And you want to fucking pay close attention to it, WE DO NOT RAPE! Shit that pig said he will do to my woman doesn't fucking fly here, no matter who is in question, you put your hand on anyone here, male or female, without their fucking consent, you are killed, left to turn and hung on that fucking fence over there as an example! I hope that is fucking clear! Now my people will show you to your rooms and tomorrow you will be assigned to the job posts. As you were! "

Negan went to the room he and Alice took as their own, he found her on the floor, reading a book she brought with herself.

"Hey there, " she smiled at him.

"Hey," he sat beside her, leaning his head on her shoulder and glancing over the page she was reading.

"Why so gloomy?"

"I don't fucking like this one bit, Alice. I don't want war with these people, fuck it, I am afraid how much of our own people we will lose. God fucking damn it all, I should have played my cards differently."

Alice let out a heavy sigh, placing a book on the floor beside her and straddling him. She placed her hand on his head and started massaging his temples.

"You took care of us, your people, the best way you could, you gave us a life of peace, you gave us two fucking meals a day. It doesn't matter how you did it, you did it, for us. Every man and woman here will give their life for you and despite popular belief, they will do that because they want to, not because they fear you. They want this life, they want to have families, and they want their daughter and wives to live in the environment where they don't have to look over their shoulder every time a man approaches them. Even the ones that would do it won't, they enjoy this life too much to risk it all for one fuck. You made it all happen. And this is just a small bump on a long road ahead of us." She moved her hands to his cheeks, making him look at her.

"And we are going to fucking win this. Don't ever doubt that," she kissed him, as her hands wandered lower, taking his jacket off.

"Now, will you fuck me or do I have to do it myself."

Negan laughed, picking her up and throwing her on the bed, "I'll do it, you fucking nympho."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, yeah, I decided to fill in the blanks a bit. I don't have a clue what Negans deal with JunkYard group is, but negotiations I heard on the season finale and my firm belief that Negan doesn't trade with people, lead me to this conclusion.  
> Hope I did it justice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for one quote more: "One saw a bird dying, shot by a man. It was flying with rhythmic beat and beautifully, with such freedom and lack of fear. And the gun shattered it; it fell to the earth and all the life had gone out of it. A dog fetched it, and the man collected other dead birds. He was chattering with his friend and seemed so utterly indifferent. All that he was concerned with was bringing down so many birds, and it was over as far as he was concerned.  
> ― Jiddu Krishnamurti, Krishnamurti to Himself: His Last Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

Knock on the bedroom door drew her attention away from the plans of rerouting the walkers, the assignment that fell on her after Joseph's death.

"Doll can you open the door," Negans voice came from the bathroom as he turned off the shower.

"Why did you locked them anyway," Alice stood up.

"Because I am fucking done with people barging in here like they fucking own the place."

The smile that twitched up soon fell as she saw the person on the other side.

"What the fuck do you what, Dwight?"

The blond man scanned her from head to toe, she was wearing her silk bathrobe with her hair scooped up in the towel.

"I…I…"

"For the sake of us all, spit it out will ya!"

"Simon came back with the new doctor."

"Oh, good. We will be down in a second. You are dismissed."

"Where's Negan?" Dwight popped his head in the room, looking around.

Alice's nerves twitched making her face turn red, "I said you are dismissed."

She placed her hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the doorway and closing the door behind him.

"Fucking idiot."

OOO

To say that Carson's brother was unhappy he was dragged to Sanctuary, was understatement and Alice understood him; she would never consider helping people who murdered her brother. She knew doctors were sworn to help anyone, no matter who they were or what they have done, but she didn't hold here hopes up that in today's world it would matter, so she didn't trust him.

It frustrated her, the number of people she didn't trust around here seem to increase with every passing day.

She knocked on the clinic door, few hours after they passed the doctor to one of the Saviors who was supposed to show him around and explain the rules.

"It's opened," the soft voice came from the other side.

She found Carson sitting in the corner, his legs bend, looking at some point of the far side of the floor, he turned his attention to her, once she walked in, gently closing the door.

"Ugh, you need help."

Alice smiled softly, sitting on a small chair near the desk.

"I'm fine. Just came to see how are you feeling, did you have any problem settling in?"

The man let out a disgusted snort, looking up at the top of the wall where the small window was.

"I am surrounded by people who murdered my brother and I am here to help them. How am I supposed to feel?"

"Not very well, I supposed," Alice looked down.

"Listen," she let out a heavy sigh, standing up. "I won't say I know how you feel because I don't and I am not a particularly sympathetic person. But to say that I don't give a flying fuck that your brother is dead would be a lie. I liked him, he was a loyal man and a good doctor, I trusted him, and not many people here can say that. I trusted he will be able to save a life of my man if something was to happen to him, it made me feel safer and made me sleep better. Since he was killed I can't remember the night I had a good night sleep. Negan thought that bringing you here will make things better, but it won't, not to me. Because I don't trust you and I don't believe you will save him if he was to be in need of saving. "

"Why are you here?" Carson stood up, walking towards her," If you are here to give me your condolences, there is no need for that, I won't accept them because I know who murdered my brother and I know what you are to that person. If you are here to threaten me, also, save it, I am a doctor and I will treat everyone equally, no matter who that person was or what he has done, to me or anybody else. "

Alice surveyed him, locking her arms over her chest.

"I did not come here to give you my condolences, as I said before I am not a particularly sympathetic person and was never a fan of 'I know how you feel' talks. I don't know how you feel and I don't care to find out. But I am here to threaten you, if ever Negan is in need of medical assistance and you screw that up I will bring five people from the Hilltop here and I will kill before your eyes, and they won't have quick deaths that I can assure you. That being said, Negan is not the one who's to blame for your brother's death neither am I. So when you look over your shoulder our faces are not the one you should fear. I'll be leaving you now. For what it's worth, I don't like you being here any more than you do, but we have little to no choice when it comes to that. Enjoy your evening."

OOO

The day went by pretty fast before she even knew it, she was getting back from her usual scouting route, she didn't know why she still did it, with time she even stopped carrying all her weapons, relying only on her machete.

She went up the stairs to Negans room, where he was already waiting for her, they ate their dinner in unusual peace and went straight to bed, both of the excused from their daily routines.

It was dead of the night when the shots were heard, Alice jumped out of her bed, pulling only her jeans and shirt and checking her gun. She secured the door, making sure it is locked and went to the window, trying to figure out what is happening.

"What the fuck was that!" Negan was also on his feet, fully dressed, grabbing Lucile, getting ready to go outside.

"No," Alice stopped him.

"What the fuck, doll, I am checking this shit out!?"

"No, wait," she turned around going back to the window, the factory was silent, no movement on the front entrance.

"There is no one there," she pointed at the gate, "where are the guards? "

"Well, we won't fucking know if we stay in here, will we?"

"Shit," she knew he was right, "ok, I'll go first."

"No!"

"Negan this is not for a debate. My role here is to protect you, no matter my position, it's still my primary objective. Now please let me go first."

He let out a heavy sigh, running his hand over his face, "Jesus, fucking, Christ, if I could go back in time to the moment I said 'yes' to that arrangement and kick my own ass. Alright," he opened the door, "ladies first."

Alice smiled as she walked past him, readying her gun and walking down the stairs.

All the rooms of their lieutenant were opened, with no one inside, the same thing with the guards.

"Where the fuck is everyone?"

They walked slowly, trying to catch at least a sign of life, but no one was there, the entire factory felt like a ghost town. Only when they reached the ground floor they could let out the breaths they were holding, the works were out in the hall, divided into groups, armed with pipes and axes.

"Told you everyone will defend this place with their life," Alice smiled, glancing at Negan, who walked past them, not believing his eyes. Everyone was looking at the front entrance in the factory, ready to kill anything that would dare to take a step into their territory. No one kneeled as he walked by and he didn't care, they were ready to give their life for this place and what he has built for them and that was the highest level of respect any leader could ask for.

When they walked outside, they saw their lieutenant and guards standing in a group, observing something.

"Move and I will kill you," they heard Simons voice.

"Then, kill me!" a woman spoke.

Alice ran towards the crowd, pushing everyone from her way, trying to get to Simon as soon as possible.

"What, the…" her mouth fell agape.

Simon was on the ground, holding down a woman, with a knife pressed to her throat. It took Alice some time to recognize her, she was one of Rick's people, she saw her in the wood on the night her life changed.

"Simon, what in the fucking God's name is happening here and why aren't you people on your fucking posts?" Negan finally found his way to them.

"She broke into the compound and killed one of our guards," Arat spoke, looming over the dead man, checking his pulse before taking out her knife and stabbing it through his head.

Negan glanced at the woman on the ground, the hard lines of his face twitching up in a smile as he surveyed her, Alice frowned looking at him.

"Well, we have our self's a fucking badass here, don't we," he crouched, running his tongue over his bottom lip, "did you come here, all kamikaze and shit just so you can kill me. Man, you must fucking hate my guts."

He ran his hand over his face, looking at the man on the ground, "Shame. And you killed one of you better people. "

"Take her to Daryl's cell, I will deal with her in the morning," he stood up, a smile never leaving his face. "The rest of you back on your duties, the show is over. We will burn the dead in the morning."

Negan turned around, wrapping his arm around Alice's waist and leading her back in their room.

When they got inside, Alice ditcher her clothing going straight to bed, as Negan curled behind her, nipping her neck.

She moved away from him.

"What the fuck, doll?"

"I'm not in the mood. Good night, Negan."

He frowned, looking at her, "but you are always in the mood."

He sounded like a child, begging for candy in the middle of the grocery store.

"Well, not tonight."

"Ok," his face turned blank in confusion, as he lied down on his back, his head turned to the side, looking at her. Did he do something wrong, said something wrong, she was not in the mood, that never happened before.

"If you want to empty your balls while thinking about another woman, you can jerk them dry."

"What!?" He propped himself on his elbows, his eyes widening, he did not have a clue what is she talking about. It took him more time he was comfortable with to understand what is happening, filling the room with his laughter.

The white pillow struck him over his chest as Alice turned around, her face red and eyes wide opened.

"What's so funny, asshole?"

"You are jealous," he couldn't stop laughing. "My ice queen is jealous."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. I just don't understand why?"

"I saw how you smiled at her. You weren't even upset she killed one of our men, you smiled the whole fucking time. Shame, she hates your guts. That's what you said. Why, because she won't put out easily, is that it?"

Negan looked at her, wiping the tear from his face, he had to swallow hard to keep himself from falling in another laugher fit.

He saw her angry, and she was cute when she was not angry at him. He saw her losing it completely and killing people like they were flies and he hated to admit to himself, but it turned him on more than anything ever did. But this was the first time he saw her jealous and she was adorable, he loved it.

He moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into himself, kissing her ear and slowly going down to her neck. She let out a silent whimper as her body started to curl closer to him, he slipped his hand lower in between her folds and started massaging her bundle of nerves in circles. She arched her back, closing her eyes.

"So, you are jealous," he started kissing her jawline.

"Negan listen to me, stop this I am serious."

"So, stop me," he smiled, before placing himself over her and parting her legs, so he could accommodate himself in between them.

"Stop."

"Alright," he stopped, not moving away from her.

Alice opened her eyes, scowling, "why did you stop?"

"You fucking told me to stop."

"Well, don't listen to me, I am mad at you."

"God damn it, woman, make up your mind."

OOO

At Alexandria

Daryl was driving back from Ocean side with Rick and his group, it wasn't even morning and he was already beat. The day was not easy, the week was not easy past month was not easy, he couldn't get more than few hours of sleep, whenever he would close his eyes, he would see her, smiling at him, whenever he would dream, nightmare would come, him cradling her dead body, her blood all over him and his arrow in her chest.

On worst nights, she would even turn, but never attacking him, only staring at him with her new white eyes, stretching her mouth into what would be a familiar warm smile, now empty, teeth rotten and lips full of wounds.

He was never a person who would drown his troubles in a bottle of Alcohol, but the idea appealed to him more and more with each passing day.

They have their weapons, the group will come tomorrow to get them and the war will start, he will see her again, on the other side of the battle field, they will be looking at each other through the scope.

He buried the tips of his fingers in his eyes, hissing, the head was killing him.

"Are you alright?" Rick turned his attention from the road to him.

"Yeah," he said briefly, he has been like that ever since he came back from Kingdom, he heard Alice was looking for him, whenever her name would be mentioned there was someone from Alexandria bombarding him with questions. Questions he didn't want to answer, questions he didn't know how to answer.

"I thought you would be happy, we are ready now, soon this will all be over," Rick was persistent as usual. Daryl turned his head, scowling.

"Why would I be happy? Because more people will die, because we can't find a peaceful solution for this shit, no. This war is a necessity, but it won't make me happy."

Rick furrowed his brows, concentrated on the road, he didn't know what to say to him, he didn't know what to say to him for some time now, he tried to talk, but it only made things worst. He wasn't a shrink he was a policeman, he knew how to handle problem like the Governor was or Negan is now, but he never knew how to handle problems like the ones Daryl was having,

Rosita opened the gates, waiting for them to get out of their trucks.

Enid ran to her, looking around in panic with Jesus coming after her, "where is Sasha?"

Rosita scanned the group, her arms locked over her chest, "there's someone here," her voice was weak and broken.

She walked away from them without another word, expecting them to follow, she led them through the community, all the way down to the last house on the left, going into the basement and opening the barred door.

Everyone stood there, not entering the room, their mouth opened and eyes wide. That's when Daryl caught up with them, looking inside. His blood started to boil, as adrenalin rushed over him, he has waited for this moment for a long time and now it is finally here.

He charged towards the blond man in the room, before Rick stopped him, pulling him away.

"Stop, Daryl, look at me!"

But he didn't look at him, he didn't look at anyone, he saw his target, the man that put him through hell, man that tortured him, man that tried to kill him more than once, he was there, so close, at his grasp.

"Daryl, wait," Rosita called for him, "they have Sasha."

"What," Rick was the one to speak.

"They have Sasha. We tried to get to Negan, they captured her, I escaped, he helped me, wanted to come here, to talk to you. He wants to help us."

"Is it true," Rick stepped inside the room, with everyone following behind him.

Daryl came back to his senses, putting his anger to side, for now, his revenge will have to wait, his friend was in danger.

"Yes, I want to help you," Dwight straighten up, locking his hands behind his back, showing everyone that he will not defend himself if they chose to kill him.

"Why?" Rick stepped closer to him, pulling his gun out.

"Because I want Negan stopped, I want him dead."

"So, why don't you kill him?" Jesus spoke, standing on the far side of the room, observing the intruder.

"It can't be me. They are all Negan, we need to stop them all."

"You," Tara stepped out of the group, joining Rick at his side, "the girl you killed, Her named was Denis, she was a doctor, she helped people."

"I was not aiming at her."

"You bastard," Daryl couldn't control his anger any longer, it was enough he had Glen's death on his conscience he will not accept another one. He pinned the man to the wall, holding a knife close to his eye.

"Do it," Tara's voice came to him.

"Do it," Dwight urged him, "do it. I know you want to and I don't blame you. But I am sorry, I am sorry for everything. I had to do it, for someone else, I had to protect someone else. But she got away, and you got away because of her. Now it is time for this to end, let me help you, for her."

Millions of thoughts came rushing through his head, he heard Tara's voice in the background, urging him to kill, urging him to get his revenge. In the midst of the chaos, he saw his brother, he saw Beth, he saw a crushed head of the Glen and Abraham... Abraham... Sasha.. Sasha is now the one in danger. Dead will stay dead, there is nothing that can be done about that, but the living, the living are the ones worth fighting for.

He hissed as the sharp pain pierced through his head, stepping away from Dwight, turning his back towards the door, he couldn't look at the man, afraid of what he will do.

Rick came closer to him, placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

"We have to trust him, for now," he whispered into his ear, before letting go. "Is Sasha alive?"

"Probably, yes. He will use her as a tool, he won't kill her. He doesn't kill people like her, she is an asset a way to control you. Just like Daryl was."

"And when he finds out what we are planning?"

"I don't know. He will probably use her to negotiate your surrender, he will kill her only if you say no, in that I don't have any doubt."

"This is bad," Tara looked around the room, "all this for nothing. We can't sacrifice her; we can't lose more of our people. We have to put our plans on hold."

"No," Rosita joined them, "Sasha would not want that. We need to do this."

"We can't, not like this."

"There is another way," all of them turned to Dwight, he was sitting on the chair in the middle of the room, his eyes down.

"What way?"

"If you had someone important to him," he looked up, "someone he cares about more than he cares to win this war. Then maybe, he will surrender, without Sasha getting hurt."

"Yeah, like he could care for someone that much," Rosita snorted, rolling her eyes.

"But he does," Dwight fixed his eyes on the back of Daryl's head, a faint smile twitching up, "Alice."

It didn't take more than a second for him to be on the floor, with Daryl on him, his knife on his throat.

"She has nothing to do with this," he growled, inching his face closer to Dwight, "you leave her out of this."

"Daryl stop this!" Rick pulled him away, making him stubble down on the floor.

"We are listening."

"No!" Daryl was back on his feet in second.

"We have to do this, for Sasha."

"No, if we do this, we are no better than he is."

"He started this, we are finishing it."

"She didn't kill any of us, she wasn't here when this all started. If you decide to go with his plan, you are going to kill someone who didn't do anything to you."

"We are not killing here, we are taking her as a hostage."

"There is no way of getting to her, this is stupid, she is at Negans side all the time, he is leading us right into a trap and using Alice as a bait."

"She is not," Dwight interrupted them, "at least not of late. She goes out every night at the same time, searching the outskirts of the Sanctuary, looking for you. She thinks you will come back and try to kill Negan, so she takes the same route every night, waiting for you to try something. Lately, she is going out with only her machete on her. I think she is giving up so you don't have much time if you want to do this, she may not come out tomorrow, she may not come out even tonight, it's a risk but it's the only way."

"No, this is not right. Rick, look at me, we are better than this, this is not how we do things," Daryl felt a panic rising up, he head was spinning, he didn't know what to do or what to say to make them change their mind.

"What's your problem?" Rosita stood before him, "Why do you care? She is only one Savior less to deal with."

"This... is… not.. how… we… do… things…" He got into her face, large drops of sweat gliding down his face, he didn't realize how hot it was down in that basement, or was it hot at all, no one else seemed fazed with the temperature.

"It is not, not before, but now, we have lost so much and we stand to lose more, we have to play dirty or we are all dead."

"Rosita is right, we have to try, for Sasha," Rick came to stand at Rosita's side, his eyes soft, pleading him to calm down, to understand.

"This is not right."

Rick chose to ignore him, turning his attention to Dwight.

He turned away from the group, leaving the room, he didn't want to know what they were planning, he didn't want to have any part in it, no, this war was not something he could choose, but the way he will fight was.

OOO

He was sitting on the stairs of a house across the road, waiting for Rick to come out, the dawn came still he was there alone, looking down at the grass before him, when something caught his eyes, he leaned down, picking up a four-leaf clover, spinning it in between his finger, a smile twitching up.

_"You think one day world will be like it used to, bad boy?"_

_"No."_

_"Well, aren't you my favorite ray of sunshine? I too, don't think it will, but I am not sure should I be sad or happy about it. Yes, we lose much more now, more people we love, but still it makes us cherish every moment we have with them, it makes us more alive. Funny thing isn't it; we needed to see dead people coming back to life to learn to live."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh,_ c'mon _bad boy, form at least one fucking sentence, I know you can do it, I have faith in you…Oh, my fucking God, was that a smile. I can't believe it, hahaha, you know how to smile."_

_"Fuck you, Alice."_

"You look much better now," Rick's voice pulled him away from the memory lane, his smile disappearing in a second.

"I was just remembering something, from before."

"Before, what?"

"Just before," he was still rotating a clover in his hand.

"I need you to come with us tonight."

"No."

"I need you there Daryl."

"I said no," he stood up, raising his voice, he may not be able to stop them but he was not going to help them, not this time.

"We need her alive, Daryl. She is of no use to us dead."

"You don't need her! No! I am not coming, I am not helping you with this and you can't make me!"

"Daryl, Sasha will die, if we don't do this."

"And Alice will die if you do this. I am not helping you in this."

"I told you, we will take her as a hostage, we are not planning to kill her." Rick remained calm.

"I know Alice, even if you get to her while she is alone, she will not go peacefully. What will happen then?"

"We do what must be done. "

"Bullshit, do you hear me, bullshit!" Daryl got into his face, poking his chest.  
"You want to hurt Negan, that's why you are taking her. Even if Sasha was not there you would still cease this opportunity, And what happens after you get him, and kill him. Do you think she will sit idly by, she will be on our territory and she will kill half of us before we even realize what is happening. You don't know her Rick, I am telling you this is a stupid idea and I am not helping you.

"What is she to you?"

Daryl took a step back at this question, arching his brows.

"What?"

"What is she to you? Why do you care if she lives or dies? She held you captive, she was your jailor. You heard Dwight, she is still looking for you, hoping to kill you. And you are putting us all at risk trying to protect her. What is she to you?"

Daryl's eyes fell down, he turned his head to the side, looking at the truck where Dwight was waiting for Rick.

"We are done with this conversation." He turned to walk away, when Rick grabbed him by his arm, stopping him.

"This is how the world is, we need your help. We are going to do this, with or without you, with you we have better chance in taking her alive and you want her alive. I spoke to Dwight, when this is all over she will stay with us, we will lock her up for a time, until she calms down and accepts the facts. Then she will be able to continue her life here, she didn't do us any harm, no one will object. If she stays out there, with them, you know there will be no chance for that, she will die alongside Negan. This is how you will buy her a way out, she may not appreciate it on the beginning but with time all pain fades and she will make peace with it. "

Daryl turned around, glaring at Rick, furrowing his eyebrows, hesitant to leave.

"You don't have to answer me now, think about it. Sleep for a bit, clear your head. Dwight is going back to Sanctuary, so they don't suspect anything, tonight we are doing this and tomorrow morning Negan will come and then we are finishing him, once and for all."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two new fanfictions on my profile if you want to check them so I will be going back and forth. I really want to write as much as possible but sometimes I don't feel like working on this fiction so I need something to get my mind of it. One of the fictions called NO SOUND BUT THE WIND if actually pre-apocalypse Alice/Negan, the second one if 1st person Negan/OC fanfiction.

"Good morning, doll," the smell of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs woke her up. Alice turned around, blinking and closing her eyes again, before stretching on the bed, letting out a loud yawn. She sat up, a smile peeking behind the mess of her red hair, she ran her hand through it, trying to regain some control.

"Slept well, dear?" Negan was sitting on the sofa, in his white shirt and gray denim jeans, his leg propped up on his knee.

Alice stood up, lazily walking towards him, led by the smells that made her stomach growl.

"Maybe I would have if you didn't wake me up every half an hour, having your way with me."

She sat down beside him, taking a cup of coffee from his hand, closing her eyes as she took a sip out of it, letting out a satisfied moan.

"That sound brings but some good memories," he smiled, kissing her cheek, "and I didn't hear you complain much last night."

"No, you haven't, although I need to know what got into you last night if it wasn't the woman we found in the courtyard."

"It actually was her."

Alice glared at him, putting her coffee down on the table, her face turning red.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Negans deep chuckled made her skin itch, he was finding it amusing, he was playing with her and enjoying every second of it.

"Fuck, I love making you jealous, I have to do it more often."

"Fuck you. This is not funny!"

"But it is, it's fucking hilarious," he wrapped his arm around her, trapping her into his embrace.

"I did not lie, her coming here made my fucking day, but not in the way you think it did, you crazy woman. We have it; we have a way out of this fucking war before it even starts. We will take her to Rick the prick, safe and sound and negotiate his surrender, then I will let her go, let her join them again, take all the weapons they scavenged, kill one person just as a reminder of what we can do and puff: things are back to normal. You and me back here, fucking for seven days and seven night."

Alice relaxed in his embrace, burying her face in his shirt.

"You're not going to say anything doll?"

"I feel silly now."

"hahaha, and you should. But I was not fucking lying you are adorable when you are jealous and fuck, I thought sex couldn't get any better, but I was wrong."

"You could have told me all this last night, you know." She moved away from him, fixing her hair.

"And ruin the night. No fucking way, doll, I am too fucking selfish to do something like that."

OOO

Alice found Negan in the courtyard, later that day, with some of their men, getting ready for their trip to Alexandria tomorrow morning and checking their weapons.

"Wow, this place looks like you just robbed the military bunker."

"Several of them, to be exact," Negan approaches her, moving her hair from her face.

"What are you up to?"

"What makes you think I am up to anything," she smiled, biting her lower lip.

"You have that look about you. Last time you had it, Laura came to me complaining someone changed the locks on her door."

"And I am telling you again, I had nothing to do with it."

"Aha, and with what you won't have anything to do, today," he wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her closer.

"I was going to talk with our new prisoner if that is ok with you?"

"Why?"

"Just wanted to see can I get some info on Daryl from her, that's all."

"You're still not giving up on that?" Negan moved away from her, letting out a deep sigh, scratching his cheek.

"No."

"Alight doll, just be careful when you open the door. Ok?"

"Why," Alice furrowed her brow, tilting her head to the side.

"Because, there may be one dead motherfucker there, possibly two."

"What?!" she raised her voice in surprise.

"One prick from the group we found last tried to rape her so I did this world a favor and killed that pathetic excuse of a human being and left him there."

"Why would you leave him there?"

"Because, choices are fucking important, dear."

OOO

A long gray corridor that led to the cell Daryl once occupied was filled with guards, Alice walked slowly trying to remember every face she saw there, if something goes wrong again, she will need to know where to point fingers and where to chop them.

She stood in front of the cell door more than she cared to admit to anyone especially herself, she turned her head to the right to see the same table with two chairs she placed there months ago, her eyes fell down, it is funny how time flies now, what would feel like just yesterday before now felt like eons ago.

"I'll open the cell for you, miss Alice," man who was standing behind her spoke.

"Why?" she turned around, locking her arms over her chest.

"Bosses orders miss."

She let out a deep sigh, stepping away from the door while taking one of her knifes, getting ready for anything that might come out.

"What do you want?", she heard a woman speak as the door opened and the guard looked inside, making sure the man didn't come back to life.

"I nothing… someone else is here to see you."

He stepped from the door, moving few feet away, far enough to give them privacy, close enough to protect her if something was to happen.

"What do you want?" Sasha spoke as Alice stepped inside, taking the hunting knife from the ground, inspecting it.

"This is Negan's knife," she frowned, looking down at the dead man, "did he..?"

"No." The woman shook her head, looking up at her.

"Good. Shit like that should not happen in this place."

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, I almost have everything I want, except one little thing. But I am sure you won't help me get it."

"What?"

"Daryl."

Sasha's face turned pale, she swallowed heavily parting her lips as her eyes darted back and forth between the woman and the knife she was holding.

Alice smirked, looking at the blade in her hand.

"What you want to kill me now?"

Woman's eyes fell down, looking at the dead body on the ground.

"Then why are you here if you know I won't help you get to him?"

"Is he ok?"

The woman looked up, opening her mouth to say something but closing them instantly, cocking her head to the side, biting her lower lip. She wanted to speak but was not sure, should she? The look on Alice's face had a concerned written all over it, the soft tone of her voice gave away something she always suspected, whenever she would try and talk to Daryl about his month in imprisonment. But then again, woman could be acting for all she knew, she never saw her when she was visiting communities but the stories about Negan's left hand as he likes to call her and how she slaughters one of their own people in the middle of Alexandria with a smile on her face reached her, person like that could not be capable to feel sympathy or concern for anyone rather than herself.

"You won't even tell me if he's alive or not?" Alice dropped her eyes down on the blade in her hand, biting her inner cheek.

"What do you care?"

"I… I don't." Alice straightened her back, the soft expression on her face turning to stone. She turned to the side, ready to leave. She didn't understand why she even came down here, she knew she wouldn't get any information on where Daryl was but at least knowing he was alive and well would put her mind at ease. It was not possible that no one saw or heard from him in almost two months, so the two options existed, everyone she asked lied to her or he was dead, none of those two made her sleep easier.

"He's alive," the voice of a woman inside the cell was so soft and quiet she almost didn't hear her.

"Really?"

"Yes, but I won't tell you where he is."

"And I won't ask you." Alice smiled, sitting down on the doorstep with her back against the frame.

"This was his cell, you know?" , the left side of her lip curled upward as she looked around the concrete room.

Sasha didn't speak, letting her continue her trail of thoughts interrupted.

"He didn't speak neither when I came here and see him. He would be quiet for hours; I actually had to ask him something just to make sure he was still alive. I didn't walk down this corridor ever since the day after he escaped. I never blamed him, you know," she turned her head, locking her eyes with Sasha's.

"I get why he did it. I would probably do the same if I was in his shoes. I was actually surprised how long it took him to pull it off, sometimes it felt like something was holding him back but I guess it was just not the right moment. What I take against him is the fact he killed one of our people on his way out, and not because he killed someone, but because he killed a man who was not a threat to him, Joseph was a threat to no one and still, Daryl smashed his head."

She made a clicking sound her tongue, lifting her head up and down three times as if she was beating the head of a man who lied in the cell with an invisible bat.

"It was a poetic ending to that chapter of his life. I'll give him that."

She chuckled, looking up at the ceiling.

"Save your speeches for someone who believes them, if you came here to convince me you actually care about him you are wasting your time. I don't buy it. I know you were looking for him, wanting to end his life."

Sasha was done listening to her, she was just like Negan, killing everyone that stands in her path while trying to convince the rest of them that she doesn't enjoy it and that she actually cares about keeping as many people alive as possible. Maybe the weaker mind would fall under their spell, but she was not weak minded she could smell bullshit miles away and the woman sitting on the doorstep was so full of it, it almost made it unbearable to breathe the same air as her.

Alice laughed, shaking her head.

"That was the idea. What, you think that people would be scared of me if they knew I was actually looking to bring him back here to keep him safe? That they would give me the info I was asking for out of the goodness of their heart. "

"It makes no sense."

"Of course to you, it doesn't. I am sure even he thinks I want to kill him. But I don't, I want him here, with us, closed within these walls, safe from the war your idiot leader decided to start probably with him in the middle."

"Rick is doing what's best for our people."

"Right, starting a war and putting more lives in danger is best for your people. I can't believe you buy that bullshit. He is doing what is best for him, he got so used on the pedestal you all placed him on, his ego can't stand the fact someone is above him now. It has nothing to do with his people, ok, maybe a part of it does but that part is not big as you all think it is."

"You don't know what it was like for us, what we have been through to get where we are now…"

"Oh, cry me the fucking river," Alice interrupted her,"you think you got it worse than anyone else in this world? You think you are the only ones who went for days without food and water, that you are the only ones who lost people. Give me a fucking break."

"No, but unlike most of the people especially you, we kept our humanity."

"Oh, really, who killed thirty of our men while they slept then? And that was only one outpost, I won't even bring the people you killed before into this argument. And how many of your people Negan killed three."

"Your people killed Denise, our doctor and then Olivia."

"You are telling me that five of your people are more valuable than thirty ours?"

"I…I… no."

"Well, it sure as hell sounded like that."

"I didn't.."

"You know what, save it. I came here just to ask is Daryl alive but not like it matters anymore, we are going to Alexandria tomorrow so it is too late to keep him out of this shit. Good night, don't let the dead bite you."

Alice looked down at the man on the ground, smirking, dropping Negans knife back on the ground, before the guard who came with her closed the cell door, locking it twice.

"What time is it?" she asked one of the Saviors who was guarding the hall.

"Five pm, miss."  
"Tell Negan I am going out to check the perimeter, will be back in an hour."

OOO

Alice loved the silence that echoed through the woods outside of the Sanctuary, it calmed her nerves and made her forget for a while what world turned into.

Woods stayed the same, apocalypse didn't change them.

Ever since Daryl's escape, the threes were the only thing that could put her mind at ease, there no one could sneak up on her, leaves would give anyone away be it walker or wild animal, there her thought made sense, reminded her of her life before Negan, when she didn't care about anyone not even herself. Yes, things are much nicer now, more colorful and she smiled more than she has in years but it was harder, fear was something she never felt in her life and now she would wake up with it, carry it through the day and fall asleep, tucked in its cold embrace.

Every night at the same time she woke up, covered in cold sweat, tapping Negans side of the bed, fearing she won't feel him there, fearing someone sneaked into their room and took him away while she was in a deep sleep. That fear was irrational, but it was there and after their meeting with the Junkyard group it only intensified, war is upon them and the chances of her losing her life or him were stronger than ever.

He will be out there, on the battlefield, the bullets will be flying around them. one wrong move and it could all be over, just one inch in the wrong direction could end it all.

Her stomach twisted at the thought of that, she leaned against the closest tree, puking out her breakfast.

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve, looking down at the mess she made.

"Fuck…"

The rustling of the leaves to her right drew her attention as she reached out of her machete, "who's there?"

The sound came again but this time from her left.

"Shit," she wished she had her Eagle or her bow or at least her knifes with her…. She left everything back in Sanctuary, yes, her machete was good for killing walkers but the sounds coming to her were not from there, they were too quick, too precise and too quiet.

She turned around herself, silence, her skin started to ache, someone was watching her, all her instincts told her to run, to go back to home, to find the safety within familiar walls.

But what if they come after her, she will lead them directly to their outpost, directly to Negan, no, that was not the option.

She took few steps in the direction opposite of their base, scanning her surroundings…

"Who's there? Come out this instant?!"

The black silutet ran through the trees, stopping only for a brief second to look at her before running away in the direction opposite of their base.

"Stop!" she went after the stranger, "Stop..or I will…"

She reached for her Eagle, remembering again that she left it on the nightstand.

"Fuck…" she was getting sloppy, how could she be so stupid of course they would do reconnaissance, how could she forget the basic rule of warfare, she could hear her dads voice giving her the lecture.

She started to run faster, whatever information's they gathered will not reach Rick and the rest of the group, she will make sure of it.

The stranger was in a good shape, that much she could give it to him, it left like she's been chasing a man for miles, it started to get dark, she was about to stop and get some air, when someone pulled her hand, turning her around and pinning her against the tree, placing a hand over her mouth.

She opened her eyes, ready to fight whoever gave himself a right to touch her, her machete fell out of her hand when she saw familiar brown eyes few inches away from her face.

"Don't scream," Daryl whispered to her, nervously looking around himself, "I will move my hand from your face…but please, don't scream or make any loud noises. Ok?"

Alice nodded, her eyes opened wide.

All this time she was looking for him only to have him find her.

She thought that her first instinct once she sees him will be to kill, to destroy, and to protect but the moment he pulled his hand away from her face, she could move, her eyes locked on him.

She lifted her hand, touch the side of his face, trying to convince herself that he was real, that he was standing there and not some trick her mind was playing her.

"You… you are alive."

He only nodded, not uttering a single world.

"Fuck… you look different clean," she smiled, a single tear escaping her eyes.

"Are you disappointed?"

"No…" she shook her head.

"Listen to me Alice," he cradled her face in his hands, "you need to go back now."

"What? No."

"Please, turn around and sneak away, slowly, let no one see you."

"Why are you whispering?

"I don't have time to explain…please listen to me."

"No…Someone was snooping around the Sanctuary. I won't let your people get away with any information."

"No one was snooping around anything…listen to me… they don't want information… they want you…turn around and leave."

"Me? Why would they want me?"

"Please Alice, there is no time..go."

At that moment they heard a sound of footsteps approaching them, as Daryl pulled himself closer trapping her in between the tree and him.

She moved her head around, trying to figure out who the two figures were… who would want her… why and how did Daryl know about it?

Once the black silhouettes gained a face, everything was clear to her.

Rick and Jesus were standing not three feet's away from them, looking around themselves, bemused.

"Where did she disappear?" Rick's low voice made her skin itch. If she had her eagle with her, one good shot and she could end it all. Negan didn't want Rick dead, but at that moment she couldn't care less of what he wanted, he could hate her for the rest of his life but at least he would have a life.

Maybe with time he will forgive her or find happiness in someone else's arms, it didn't matter to her; as long as he is breathing she will be happy.

"I don't know, she was right there." Jesus was making circles around Rick, surveying their surroundings.

"Maybe someone else knows, where's Daryl?"

"I thought he was with you."

"No… He told me he was going to look for you…fuck, fuck, fuck…" Rick kicked the stone, making it fly toward them, hitting the tree bark on the other side.

"Do you think?" Jesus came closer, placing his hand on Ricks' shoulder trying to calm him down.

"I don't know. I would love to say no… but I don't know."

They turned around, walking away from them.

Daryl released her, his eyes falling down… Even in dark, Alice could see the shame on his face.

Alice moved her hand back to his face, running her fingers down his cheek before leaning a bit and kissing his forehead.

"Thank you for this," she whispered.

He only nodded, not lifting his head, not looking at her.

She felt a sting of guilt pricing her chest…' He likes you, doll.'

Negans voice rang through her head, she never believed him, but now she was not sure and it stung like hell.

"I don't deserve this… I will go away now, slowly…you go back to your people before none is the wisest."

He nodded again, turning away from her, ready to leave.

"Daryl, stay away from bullets tomorrow."

"I'll try," he glanced at her over his shoulder, a faint smile appearing on his face and just like that he was gone… leaving her alone.

OOO

Finally, she could let out the breath she was holding, slowly sliding down to the ground, she looked up, the stars already came out.

She sighed, standing up and slowly walking back to the Sanctuary, there was no time to waste, Negan must be out of his mind by now, not knowing where she is.

And what will she tell him, no way he would believe she got lost and if she was to tell him the truth he will only freak out, rushing head first into the fight.

"Shit," that is something she will have to figure out on her way.

It was a good thing she spent two years alone, wandering around; no one without that kind of experience would be able to find his way back during the night time.

The sound of people talking made her stop, she wasn't even halfway back and she already ran into them again, she crouched down finding shelter behind bushes.

"Where did you go?" Rick was talking with Daryl.

"To find Jesus… I told you already."

"I ran into him. You were not there."

"I didn't say I found him."

"Where's Alice?" Rosita spoke as she came closer to Daryl, getting into his face.

Alice clutched the handle of her machete, she didn't know how those people were, Daryl made them sound like saints, but he was kidding himself, saints don't kill people in their sleep, saints don't run around in the wood in the middle of the night trying to kidnap a woman for revenge, saints don't wage wars.

"Easy there, Rosita," Rick placed his hand on woman's shoulder, pulling her away from Daryl.

"Don't tell me to go easy, he betrayed us for a woman he barely knows… he betrayed Abraham, he betrayed Glen."

"We don't know that."

"I am telling you, I haven't seen Alice since my escape."

"Bullshit!" woman spat at him.

Alice watched as Daryl's head fell down again, he didn't look any of them in the eyes, it made her anger boil. He should have stayed with them, Negan would never ask him to go against his own, he would never push him to do anything he didn't feel comfortable with as long as it didn't stand in the way of his loyalty to their community. Yes, they were not the best choice when it comes to alliances but they are better than that, they have to be.

The urge to chop that woman's head off rose within her, who does she think she is, giving herself the right to assume how well Daryl knows her or whose loyalty he is betraying. In the end, she didn't have anything to do with those two deaths, how is he betraying anyone by helping her?

"Maybe she just saw us and chose to hide, let's not rush into conclusions," Jesus spoke, trying to calm the group down.

"There is no way someone is capable of disappearing like that," Michonne chose to join the conversation.

"You don't know what she is capable of… I already told you back in Alexandria this is a stupid idea."

"Then why did you join us?" Rosita pulled her gun out.

"To make sure if by some miracle you catch her, she makes out of this stupid thing, alive."

"That's why you came, to help her, not us?!" Rosita lifted her run up, pointing it at Daryl.

"Rosita stop!" Rick came in between them.

"That's enough!" Michonne yelled. "While we are arguing about this, the clock is ticking, if we don't find her soon, we go back to Alexandria and get ready for tomorrow."

Alice was concentrated on what was happening in front of her, ready to strike the second she sees Daryl in danger again, she didn't hear something moving behind her.

"What was that?" Rick turned around, looking in the direction of the bush.

Alice didn't have time to comprehend what is happening when something grabbed her by her shoulder and made her stumble on the ground.

"ALICE!" Daryl pulled his crossbow, shooting the bolt right through roamers head.

The dead man was massive, kicking the air out of her lungs as he fell over here.

"Alice…" Daryl pulled him away from her.

"Alice! Look at me!"

She opened her eyes, as he pulled her up, inspecting her for any bite marks.

"I'm ok, I'm ok."

"Daryl."

Rick stood in front of them.

"Fuck…" she forgot they were there.

"You are coming with us."

"Hell I am," Alice pulled her machete out.

"We are not asking you, bitch," Rosita pointed her gun at her.

"No," Daryl pulled her away, stepping in between them."This is not what we agreed on!"

"No, this is exactly what we agreed on," Rick sighed," I told you, Daryl, we are taking her with us no matter what. You are here to ensure she comes peacefully."

"Well, I would rather die than come with you. Daryl move away, this shit ends now!"

"Alice!"

That was the last thing she heard as a sharp pain pierced through her head and her world turned to black.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing I say will make up for how long I didn't update... but what its worth...I am truly sorry...  
> I had one really messed up month, with 12h shifts at work, working weekends etc... I really didn't have time to write anything and after that, I really need some time to collect myself. But thank you all for still being here and reading this.

The knocking on the door startled him from his thought, it wasn't Alice, she never knocks but his first instant was to hide the velvet pouch he was holing in his hand.

"Come it."

"Here is the dinner you asked for."

Amber looked worse for wear as days passed, her drinking problem was taking its toll, she lost so much weight that once tight dress was not dancing around her, her skin was pale and her eyes sunk.

"You need to stop drinking, Amber."

Negan's voice was low, part of him felt sorry for her, yes she cheated on him but he understood her being torn between her love for her mother and her love for Mark; a man not capable or willing to take care of both of them. When he took her in he was well aware of her situation and it was his choice to get involved, hoping that maybe she will see the truth and see the true colors of the man she loves.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you are destroying yourself and you are making a big fucking dent in our liquor storage."

"You didn't mind it when you were fucking me?"

"That's because you didn't smell like a fucking sailor back then."

"Whatever…" she rolled her eyes, ready to leave the room.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," Negan grabbed her, pulling her back, "you are not a fucking fifteen-year rebellious child, you are a grown ass woman, get your fucking act together."

"Something else you need?"

He hates it when his words would just bounce back to him, but he didn't have strength or patience to discuss the matter any further, he had his own problem to deal with, Amber will have to wait, but he had every attention of dealing with that problem later on, if she wants to drink herself to death she can go ahead and do it, but not on his expense.

"No, you can leave. Think about what I said or be ready for the consequences."

She slammed the door behind her, damn it all, she never had that much balls, was he getting soft, did people started to think they can act like that and just get away with it. One more thing he will have to deal with after tomorrow if things go as planned.

Another half an hour has passed, Alice still didn't come up to their room. It was not like her to go for so long without at least sending a word letting him know she will be late and where she's at.

Something was wrong, he could feel it in his bones.

He found Simon in his room, running over some maps while nibbling on chips. That was one of his habits he hated the most, why can't he eat the damn chips like every normal person, one chip one bite, not act like a hamster.

"Something you need, boss?" Simon stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Did you see Alice?"

"No, can't say I have. Why?"

"Fuck," Negan ran his hand over his face, "she hasn't come up to the room yet."

"Maybe she is drinking with Arat."

"Really, those two barely stand to be in the same fucking room together. Who's on fucking guard duty tonight?"

"I think Garry and his men."

"Meet me outside in five minutes."

OOO

"What the fuck?"

Alice woke up, the dank room she was in smelled like mold, with low ceilings and two small windows, high up on the wall across from her.

The bared cube she was in didn't have anything in it, except old mattress that looked like it has seen its share of days on the rain and smelled just as bad and one metal bucket, placed in the corner.

"You're finally awake," she heard a familiar voice, a voice that made her skin itch. She twisted around on the mattress, looking at the man, standing outside of her cell, looking down at her.

"You sound disappointed, Rick. Don't tell me you've been standing there waiting for me to turn."

Rick didn't speak, moving his hand away from his gun.

"Sorry to disappoint, but it will take more than one blow to the head to kill me."

Alice smiled, sitting up and looking around the room she was in.

"Am I supposed to shit in that bucket over there?"

"Yes."

"Will you clean it?" she smirked, looking up at Rick.

"We have people for that."

"Would expect as much, you are don't clean your own shit let alone someone else's."

"What was that supposed to mean?"

Alice's smile widened as she stood up, slowly walking towards him, she fingers clutching on the cell bars ignoring her headache and the protest her body was giving her, she will not let them see her weak she will not give them the pleasure.

If he plans to keep her captive she might as well get as much out of it as possible, occupy her mind so it doesn't think about Negan and what he is doing at the moment, he must be out of his mind and it made her heart sink. She made a mistake and now he is alone, out there, not sure what has happened to her.

"You know exactly what it means, cmon you are not a stupid man, careless yes but stupid no."

"Don't act like you know me."

"But I am not acting. I know you, not you like you but people like you. You have been a police officer once. Right?"

"It is in the past."

"But it's not, you loved it, the control it gave you. Every morning you would wake up, thinking you are doing a good deed, putting your life on the line so that the order is maintained. People in your neighborhood must have praised you, big hero, big man, a protector. It's like the drug, isn't it, the power, I know it is, I saw many of your kind fall to it. And now here you are again, protector of the just the crusher of the unjust, maintainer of the order and peace, just like before. But no, it is not, isn't it? Now it's better, now you can make laws, make people act just as you want them to act, now you are the judge and the jury. Or you used to be, before someone came and took it away from you, now you act like junky, hungry for the drug, scrapping the wall with your fingers until they bleed, trying to escape the new way of life, trying to find your fix. I get it I was there, my drug was not power but I was there, but you see the difference between us is: I never used other people's hands to try and get myself out of the mess I made. Unlike you, I cleaned my own shit."

"This is not about the power, this is about freedom."

"I am really sorry for not being able to buy that shit, you know, being on this fucking side of the bars."

"You will get out, the moment Negan surrenders."

"Hahaha, what makes you think he will surrender?"

"Because we have you."

"The only thing, you having me, will change is the number of your people dead."

"He won't risk your life. I know it."

"You, thinking you know everything will be your demise. Because let me tell you something, Negan knows me better than anyone, he knows me better than I know myself and he knows I will rather die than let him walk into your clutches. I will end my life sooner than I will let something like that happen. And when I die, he will blame you for my death, not me, because he will know I died to protect him and to crush your plans. Now imagine what he will do then, he killed one of your people because you killed his men, men he commanded and had no love for. How will he react knowing you are the one to blame for the death of his loved imagine it, Rick."

She moved closer, "imagine all the blood that will be shed. And let me tell you one more thing Rick so you can't put the blame on someone else, again, it will be your entire fault. Every scream, every life lost, it will be all on you. Not Negan, not me, but you."

Rick curled his mouth in a sign of disgust, his eyes opened wide, red, he wanted to blink, to tear his eyes from the women behind the bars. But he couldn't, he count speak, blink, or move.

The worm her words planted inside of his brain started to hurt, if she is right, he is the monster here, but he would know if that is the truth, would he. He would recognize it in the mirror, Michonne would see it, Carl would have said something.

Surely someone would have told him he is making a mistake.

No, this woman doesn't know a thing; she is just like Negan, playing around with people, making them doubt themselves, making them doubt their strength, their capabilities, their good intentions.

When it comes to people like her, the best thing to do is turn around and walk away, silently, words are their weapons and once you strip them away from them they are helpless, they can do you no harm. And so he did, reaching for the doorknob ready to leave her there, she has her purpose, once it is completed he will decide what to do to her. He gave promise to Daryl, but this woman was more dangerous than he initially thought and her pull on his friend was more than obvious. Keeping her here with them would make things only worse, she was an expert on planting the bug of doubt in people's heads sooner or later she will turn them all against each other, no, that is something he couldn't allow, even if it meant breaking a promise.

OOO

"What the fuck do you mean she didn't come back!?" Negan was fuming; he needed to crush something, someone, the rage boiling up inside of him will choke him to death if he doesn't find an outlet, soon.

"Alice went some time ago in the woods, we didn't pay much attention, she does it every night, I thought she came back, but I questioned my man, no one saw her."

Negan grabbed Garry, pinning him to the fence, just a inches away from the dead who were reaching out for him.

"Boss, boss, this is not the time," Simon came from behind him, grabbing his shoulder and trying to push him back from the petrified man.

"I can't fucking think of better time than now, Simon."

"Alice would not want this, boss."

"The fuck do you know what would Alice want!?" Negan spat over his shoulder.

"I know her love for Garry and her faith in him. She would not appreciate losing more people she trusts. " Simon whispered into his ear, trying to calm him down.

Hearing Alice had a love for any man but him, only made his guts twist in one more node, anger, and jealousy, making a dangerous mix, one powerful enough to annihilate the entire sanctuary.

"We need to find her, boss and we need to do it fast."

Negan didn't let of Garry, pinning him harder against the fence as Simons words dawned on him. He loosened a grip, his eyes widening as anger boiled down being replaced with dread.

He took a step back, making a man fall on the ground.

"You better fucking pray to God all fucking mighty, we find my wife or it is your ass going on this fucking fence, along with every fucking idiot who was on the guard duty tonight!"

"Simon, wake up Dwight, I want him and his pack of monkeys on the fence, while we go out in the woods, keep your radios about you if you find her, let everyone know. Did I make myself fucking clear? You there," he pointed at the man who was hiding behind the cars, desperately trying to hide from his rage.

"Wake up Carson, I want him up and ready if he is needed. Now get going, we have me a fucking wife to find!"

OOO

Alice saw every twitch on Rick face, every change of color, every emotion written in his eyes. When he reached for the doorknob, the spite rose in her. She was not done with him yet, if she was to die soon, she will tell him everything, her voice will haunt his dreams, her truth will never let him rest. It was about time someone broke the illusion he built around himself, it was about time someone placed him on the ground and pointed out every mistake he made.

"It is your fault you know, not Daryl's."

Just when he was about to leave the room, her world pulled him back.

"What?"

"Glens death, it is all your fault. You should be the one who wakes up every night covered in cold sweat, not Daryl. You should be the one to weep on his widow's grave, bagging her for forgives, not Daryl. You should be the one averting your eye from the shame, not him. All that's lying on his soul, should be on yours."

"You don't know anything!" in two long steps he was back in front of her cell, his face turning red. "I gave everything I have for this group, for this community. I lost my wife, my son almost died and I barely kept my two-year-old daughter alive, through this hell! I kept all of them alive! I did what it's needed to survive."

Alice cocked her head to the side, laughing.

"And you still haven't learned the lesson. You stand here in front to me, justifying your actions from before, actions that have nothing to do with Glen's death. Tell me, Rick, why did you agree to help people from Hilltop?"

"How do you know we did it for people of Hilltop and not to protect ourselves?"

"Because I saw Paul with you tonight and I saw him that night with you. I couldn't pinpoint exactly from where I knew him, back when I saw him at Hilltop in a different outfit but tonight I remembered, he was there with you."

Ricks silence told her all she needed to know.

"For supplies? You did it for supplies," she grinned. "Oh, this is just fucking precious. You took supplies from other community in exchange for protection. Shit, that sounds familiar, I don't fucking know where I've seen someone doing the same thing."

"It's not the same!"

"Why, because it's you taking shit from someone and not us?"

"We don't kill the innocence."

"You do know that in that outpost there were people who had nothing to do with community runs, like mechanic, cooks, janitors or what, they are guilty as well, only because they were there?"

"You don't know!"

"That's where you are wrong, Rick, I know. And I wouldn't have a problem with it if you didn't walk around acting like you are the only right law in this world and everyone who crosses you is a bad man. I would not say a fucking word if you took half the blame for shit that happened to you. But no, it was always someone else's fault, now its Negan only God knows who was before him. It's always someone else with people like you, always ready to point a finger everywhere except in the mirror."

"Negan killed Glen, not me!"

"That's right, he did. He doesn't feel sorry for it, why would he, he didn't know the man, he warned you all of what would happen if you don't follow the rules but Negan knows Glen's blood is on his hands, he never once denied it. But you see, his blood is on your hands as well, just as Abrahams is. And you deny it, letting Daryl take the fall. Tell m, Rick, did you once looked him in the eyes and told him he is not the one to blame, it is you. Your actions were the ones who led you all into that woods, your decision to go to war, not his. You agreed to kill thirty people in exchange for some food, thirty people! For what, few sacks of corn and some tomato? And you dare to call us monsters!"

"That's enough!"

"Few sacks of corn, Rick. That was all you needed to bring hell upon your people. And now you dare to stand here in front of me, a woman you imprisoned just for revenge and tell me you are a good guy here and Negan is a bad one. You, who question the loyalty of one person who was nothing but a brother to you, a person who carries the weight of your mistakes on his shoulders. Yes, Daryl attacked Negan, the act that led to Glen's death, but Daryl doesn't realize he did what every normal person would do when someone he cares about was in danger. Negan did what every leader would do when his authority was undermined in front of his people and you just sat there, watching, you the fearless leader, a person who they all followed just sat there and watched. And you know why? Because you knew then something you forgot along the way, it is your fault, everything that happened that night, everything that happened after and everything that will happen; all your fault."

Everything faded away in the second as Alice faced the barrel of Ricks gun.

OOO

Despite his act in front of his people, Negan always considered himself, passionate and emotional man, feeling everything a bit more intensely than everyone around him. That was one of his trait that gave him much pleasure in his life but also many grieves. He didn't know how to cope with feelings, always letting them govern his actions. It was like that while he cheated on his wife, it was like that when he found out she was sick and it was like that the day she died, everything he did, he did, trying to fall into the embrace of passion or trying to run away from his sorrow.

But now, there was nothing, he didn't feel a thing while he combed the woods with his man, trying to find Alice. His mind was clear, no emotions to cloud his judgment, like a predator after a long winter, trying to find a pray to satisfy his hunger.

He found himself taking deep breaths in, hoping he will smell her sooner than he will see her.

She was there, she has to be there and he will find her.

"Boss, we have something," Simons' voice startled him from his thought.

"What is it, Simon?"

"You better come and see this, boss."

And with that his legs got a mind of his own, taking him as fast as possible towards Simon and his group, forgetting his people, who were desperately trying to keep up with him, yelling and cursing as they tripped over the rocks hidden beneath the mantle of leaves and darkness.

Negan didn't feel a ground beneath his feet, didn't feel a pain as the branches violently grazed his face.

When he reached Simon, he half expected to find Alice with him, smiling and making remarks about how foolish he was, raising hell to come and find her. But Simon and his men were alone, looking at the dead body, spread on the ground in front of them.

He froze, not being able to move, not wanting to move, not wanting to see who is it lying, alone in the dark, covered with leaves.

'No…not this again…' voices screamed inside his head as Simon approached him, holding Alice's machete in his hand.

His knees almost gave up on him and he looked down at the blade in his friend's hand.

"We found this on the ground," Simon was speaking, probably loud and clear, but he almost couldn't hear him, from his heart pounding in his chest, his eyes, his throat, his entire body.

'She is gone', a tiny voice spoke to him, 'you lost her. She is dead. She left you alone, just like Lucile did. All alone in this world. Now no one cares for you anymore. You, a pathetic little man, not worthy of anyone's love. And you got what you deserve. All the people you kill, all of them, this is their revenge. They all came, took her away from you. Took her with them, so you will never lay your eyes on her, you will never touch her, never kiss her, never hear her voice again. Your pretty Alice, gone, for good.'

"Boss, do you hear me," Simon snapped his fingers in front of his face, when he didn't get a response he was looking for.

Negan shook his head, looking at him, for a moment forgetting where he is and who is he looking for.

"What?"

"I said we found this on the ground… next to that dead prick, lying over there."

"A walker?"

"Yes, a walker…boss are you alright?"

"I….I… yes...I'm fine"

His senses came back to him, as we looked down at the body on the ground, the man lying there was too big to even look like Alice. He is going insane; that was the only possible explanation for the tricks his mind was playing on him.

"He wasn't killed with the machete, that much is clear, what is it that killed him we can't say but it wasn't Alice, even though she was obviously here."

"I don't give a rat's ass where she was I want to fucking know where is she now!" Negan didn't want to yell at Simon, but the sense of clarity he had before completely vanished, replaced with a mix of fear and sorrow.

"We… we don't know boss. "

"Boss," the radio interrupted them, Dwight's voice coming from the other side, "a strange man is here, we want to talk to you."

"Who is it? And what the fuck does he want?!" Negan growled, his eyes fixed on Simon.

"We told us he will only speak with you."

"Fuck!

OOO

The sound of gunfire startled Daryl from his thought.

The sound came from the room where Alice was…but…

He opened the door, running inside, stopping in his step at the sight in front of him.

Alice was standing in her cell, holding the bars, smiling and looking at Rick, who had his gun drawn out, aiming it at her, the bullet hole could be seen in the wall on a far side of the cell.

He ran to him, making him lower his weapon and standing in between him and Alice.

"What's happening here?!"

Rick didn't respond, looking at him, his eyes glimpsing with tears. He lifted his head, locking his eyes with his, his mouth slightly opened.

"What? What is it?" Daryl took a step closer, placing his hand on his shoulders.

Rick tilted his head to the side, before taking a step back, leaving the room.

Daryl watched the door long after Rick left him alone with Alice.

"Bad boy, are you there?" the soft voice from behind him brought him back to reality.

"What did you do to him?" he didn't turn around, not ready to face the person behind the bars, one more life in danger because of him.

"I.. what could I exactly do to him, locked up like this?"

He swallowed heavily, trying to make some sense of what happened between Alice and Rick while he was outside. He knew Alice, he knew the impact she can have on people, he felt it on his own skin, what feels like a lifetime ago.

"I know you, Alice, you don't need to touch a person to do damage."

The giggle came from behind him, then disappointed sight. "you wound me, bad boy. You know I am nothing but nice."

He turned around, a faint smile twitching on his lips, a smile that faded away the moment she saw her behind the bars, caged like an animal. Still, she looked like the circumstances didn't faze her, same wide smile on her face, clear calculated eyes and confident stance.

"You don't look like you mind being here."

"Nop saves me the drive tomorrow."

"Practical."

"I know," she sat down on the floor, her back resting against the cold concrete wall.

The happy facade came off as she stared at some point on the far side of the room.

Daryl sighed, sitting down on next to her with the bars between them.

They were silent for some time; he didn't know what to say to her, he was never the one who initiated their conversations. She didn't feel like talking, her thoughts drifting away, thinking about Sanctuary and Negan. Did he figure out she is missing, being locked in the cell didn't give her much clue at what time of the night is it, are they close to midnight or dawn. If he did find out, what will he do? She could only hope Simon will have enough strength to keep him in check and make him think rationally.

Scenarios coming to her mind only made her headache worse. There was nothing she can do now but to wait for events to unfold.

"You should not be here."

Daryl's voice reached out for her, pulling her back to reality.

"Neither should you, bad boy. And still, here we are."

"I did not agree to this. I want you to know that."

Alice smile, rolling her head and locking her eyes with his, "I know."

She reached for his hand.

"I know."

OOO

"What the fuck do you want?"

Negan knew the man standing in front of him, he was Jadis right-hand man.

"I have a message for you, from our leader."

"Who is this?" Dwight interrupted them.

"Not your fucking business, Dwight, go and see are your men doing their fucking jobs, next one to screw something up is getting familiar with Lucile."

Dwight scowled, looking at the strange man one more time before leaving him and Negan alone.

"Why the dark face, Dwight, I thought you of all people would be happy to see Alice missing," Simon cut his path.

"Why?" Dwight swallowed heavily, turning his eyes away from Simons questioning gaze.

"Well, you were not exactly friends.. or did that change?" Simon forced a familiar smile on his face.

"No we were not and nothing changed."

"Hmm, then it must be something else occupying your mind. Something I can help with maybe?"

"No, nothing," Dwight walked around him, heading toward the straits that lead to the catwalks where the guards were stationed.

Simon looked after him, trying to figure out which part of conversation made his face turn pale but soon dismissed it, walking towards Negan and the man he recognized from the junkyard.

"He has her, he fucking has her! " Negan was fuming by the time he reached him, "get our people together, bring all the firepower we have we are burning that place to the fucking ground!"

"Who has who?" Simon scowled, looking down at the piece of paper in Negan's hand.

"You know how to fucking read, read this!" Negan gave him the note, before running his hand over his face then through his hair, turning his back to them, trying his best not to kill someone.

Simons' hand started to tremble as he read the words written down on old brown paper.

_"Your woman was just brought to Alexandria._

_Unconscious, but alive._

_We are ready._

_Jadis."_

"Alice is in Alexandria."

"Yes, " man before him spoke, "she was unconscious when they brought her, but she is alive and well, as far as we know. "

"But why?"

"For bargain."

"I will give them a fucking bargain, I will cut them all down!" Negan was in man's face, his face distorted and red, "tell your leader to be ready, change of plan. We are leaving no one alive."

"Simon, get ready we are leaving!"

"Boss, we should not rush things."

"What!" Negan turned his attention from the man to him, "We should not rush things! They have Alice, that motherfucker actually grew balls big enough to take something from me! I will cut them off and feed them to his son! "

"I understand, but rushing into this head first will only make things worse, for her. We need to save her than we can think about our revenge."

"And what the fuck do you propose, to sit here on my ass while she is locked up and with God knows what injuries."

Simon let out a heavy sight, he wanted to get to Alice as soon as possible, but not on Ricks terms.

"I know boss. But there is nothing we can do for her until dawn and they are expecting of us to act without a plan. But now more than ever we can't afford that. We need to get ready and head for Alexandria in the morning just as planned. And nothing will happen to her, Daryl is probably there and as much as he hates our guts, he will give his life protecting her. You know that boss."

Negan looked at his friend, his heart and his brain leading the battle, he wanted to rush through those gates and take her away from them but at the same time he knew Simon was right, nothing good ever came when he let his feelings lead him. If he was to save her, he will need to use his head for a change.

"Alight," he sighed defeatedly, "tell Jadis to process with a plan as nothing happened."

"Understood," man was about to leave before turning around again "I would recommend you move a bit earlier than planned, there are many obstacles on the road towards Alexandria."

"Fucking perfect." Negan looked up at the sky, stars were still shining brightly above him with only a few clouds drifting across the sky.

"We will get to her," Simon placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

"I fucking hope so, friend. I fucking do."

OOO

"Why did you kilJosephpeh?"

Alice spoke after another few minutes of silence. Question made his stomach turn.

"Ï.. don't know."

Alice turned her head to the side, looking at him with a deep frown.

"You don't know?"

"No I don't, " Daryls eyes fell down.

"I did many things in my life Daryl, but I never killed a man not knowing why."

"I… it just happened."

Alice scowled, "you made me really sad, bad boy. I lost two people that day, no three. Joseph and you, twice."

Daryl looked up at her, his brow furrowing.

"Twice?"

"Yes, I lost you because you escaped, it made me sad, yes, but it was expected. You are a strong man and I never once believed you would stay captured forever but what got to me, is the way you did it, the way you killed Joseph, it only made me realize that at that moment, the moment you killed him I lost the version of you I liked the most. The rational and compassionate version, calculated and wise man, the man who never did anything without knowing why… I lost you twice and I knew I will find you only once."

"I was never that man, you don't know me."

"Keep telling that to yourself, bad boy, maybe one day you will actually believe it. But for what if worth I am glad to be able to see you one more time, before this all ends."

She smiled sadly as their eyes met. This may be the last time they ever see each other, last time they will ever be able to speak. She wanted to tell him many things, to put his mind at ease, to make the blame he is feeling go away. After all, he was her friend, friend she made under the most unusual circumstances and if tomorrow doesn't go as planned and one of them ends up lying dead on the ground, she wanted to say her goodbyes at least once in her life. To make peace with at least one person before one of them perishes, but the words never formed and they just stayed like that, sitting on the floor, looking at each other before the knock on the door and unfamiliar voice made them realized that their time is up.

"Negan and the Saviors are coming." Was all they heard when the sound of footstep going up the stairs made them realize they were left alone again,

"When this is all over, you can stay here." Daryl's eyes fell down, looking at their entwined fingers.

"No, I cant."

"Why?"

"Because I will be long dead."

Silence filled the room for the last time, some things never needed words to be understood.


	17. Chapter 17

OOO

"This is taking too fucking long!"

Negan stood with Simon watching Saviors while they removed yet another block on the road.

"We will get to her, boss."

"Oh, I have no fucking doubt we will, for the sake of everyone."

With every passing minute, he felt sicker and sicker. She would have got to him by now; she would've found a way, no it was a lie, she would never let anyone capture him in the first place, she would cut down through the army just to get to him and it would not have been the first time she did something like that. He couldn't help but feel useless, weak and he hated feeling like that, again failing to protect the one he loved.

"We are ready to move boss," his man came to him.

"Then fucking move, we lost too much time as it is."

OOO

The day was perfect, sun shining brightly giving hope to everyone that by the end of the day everything will fall into its place. But Alice knew as she walked past the residents of Alexandria, what she hoped for and what they hoped for were to complete opposites.

"Good job, people, you managed to scrape up some artillery," Alice smiled at Daryl as he and Rosita led her by the cars with guns placed on display over the hoods.

No one spoke but she didn't mind it, she never needed the validation of small talk to enjoy the moment. Soon she and Negan will be reunited and in the end, it was all that mattered.

"Hope people here know how to use them or this will be one damn short fight."

Rosita snorted, "all we need is one perfectly lined up bullet to end this."

"So do we," Alice's grin widened, "but it would be a shame to waste all the effort you put into collecting all this shit and not get a movie like battle, don't you think."

"Not all of us enjoy killing as much as you do."

"Yeah, I got that problem a lot even before, no one wanted to play with me."

Alice couldn't be sure did she heard Daryl let out a small chuckle, before Rick approached them, shooting daggers at her.

"Looking good, Rick, I see you recovered from the last night."

He didn't speak, taking her by her upper arm and leading her to the platform near the gates.

She turned around, despite Rick urging her to walk forward, looking at Daryl.

"See you on the other side, bad boy, want me to save you a seat?"

Daryl's head fell down, not being able to look at her.

"Rick, wait." She slipped out of Rick hold, taking long strides towards Daryl.

Rick wanted to stop her when Tara came to his side, accompanied with one of the residents of Alexandria, who had a look of confusion as we turned around a weapon in his hand.

Daryl didn't hear her approach, before she nudged him to the side with her shoulder, making him look up, confused.

"Don't ever fucking bow you head before anyone, ever again, do you fucking hear me, bad boy. You did nothing wrong, ever. You are a good person and don't let anyone or anything convince you otherwise. "

Daryl's eyes widened as he scanned her face, wanting to read hidden meaning behind her words, but as always with him, there was none. She played with other people, twisting their beliefs, using all she knows about them as a weapon, but not with him, never with him. Her blunt honesty and bits of tenderness she always had for him, was something he will miss the most if he was to survive today.

He wanted to thank her just before Rick pulled her away from him, leading her towards the gate.

She didn't tear her eyes from him, smiling.

"Walk tall my friend!" She yelled, "you hear me, always walk tall!"

OOO

Simon smiled to himself as they near closer to Alexandria.

"What the fuck is so funny, Simon?"

The anger in Negans voice didn't faze him, he as like that ever since they found out Alice was taken by Rick, he could only assume what was going through his friends head from that moment on and if his attitude was a base of judgment, it was not pretty. He knew Negan was the man who hid behind the jokes and humor most of the time, not letting anyone see what gets to him, afraid someone will use it and take him down from his throne. It was something everyone became familiar with, so when Alice walked in their lives it took them some time not only to adjust to her presence, the task she didn't make easy on anyone but also to the new version of Negan no one saw before. A man who would let his guard down more often than not, let people see the human side of him, the leader who actually spent time with his subordinates and man who shouted out to for the whole world know who he loved and who was his weak spot. It made Simon sad to see someone took that as an advantage and made his worst fear come to life. His weak spot being used to take him down from the throne.

"Nothing special, boss, just realized Rick and his group actually had to babysit Alice for one entire night."

Negan laughed, looking through the window at now-familiar houses, ones that didn't quite made it to be a part of thriving community that was Alexandria.

"Fuck me, Simon, I didn't think of that." Negan shook his head, a smile never leaving his face.

"I bet they didn't signup up for what they received."

"I would be fucking disappointed if we don't find half of them in tears by the time we reach the community."

OOO

"I'm bored," Alice hopped in her spot on the platform where Rick stood with her, looking in the distance, shifting from one foot to another waiting for Negan to show up.

He side eyed her, before turning his attention back on the road.

"You said Negan is coming, where the fuck is he, it is not nice to give hope to someone and just crush it a few minutes later.

Again he didn't grant her one word, making her scowl and wiggle her itching nose as she looked up at the cloudless sky.

"You are not fun, Rick, you know, you should change your facial expression from time to time or you might just get stuck with that fucking scowl for the rest of your life. Huh, I wonder, do you have the same stink eye while having sex. Hahaha, oh my fucking god, where is your girl, I need to ask her this."

She heard someone going up the ladders, making her turn around just in the moment when Jadis came to join them.

"They will be here in five."

Alice smiled at the woman, cocking her eyes brow.

"Is this your new girl, Rick?"

"Are we ready," Ricks choice to ignore her again only made her want to poke him harder, she was getting to him, she knew it.

"The explosive is set up and ready."

"Oh, goody, we are having fireworks. Oh, god I hope the daylight won't ruin my experience."

Rick and Jadis looked at her than exchanged a few glance, letting out a deep sigh.

"I am to animated for this fucking crowd," Alice shrugged her shoulders, "good thing the people who are actually fun to be around are coming."

She smiled, as the convoy of trucks appeared in the distance.

"Finally, my entourage is here."

OOO

"All points are covered. Every contingency is already met. I come armed with two barrels of the truth. A test is upon you, and I'm giving out the cheat sheet."

Alice would give her left arm just so she could rewind time and replay the moment Rick saw his ex-friend and comrade standing on the back of the truck holding speakerphone and doing Negans biddings.

"H-Hello," Eugene stuttered, making Alice smile widen as she looked at Rick and his dumbstruck expression. She loved confusing people, that was the best way to make them do what she wanted them to do, without them being the wisest it was one game she played the best but always played alone. So it came to her as no surprise the way her heart flutter every time Negan would join the game and even rise it to the new level, challenging her to keep up.

"Eugene, oh, it is so good to see you," Alice called for the man, not even trying to hide her enthusiasm, "what brings you to this fine neighborhood?"

"I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you will heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape. Bottom lining is, you may thrive, or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone's sake. The jig is up and in full effect. Will you comply….Rick?"

"Where's Negan?" Rick spoke before Alice could interfere again.

"I'm Negan."

Rick took one step backward, lifting his head up and to the side, looking at her, expecting her to clarify what was going on.

Alice just shrugged her shoulders, "hey, don't look at me, last time I saw Negan he looked much different."

Rick nodded his head, before ducking down with the rest of the people who were stationed along the makeshift catwalks around the gate, trying to avoid the coming blast. Alice looked down at him, smiling, not bothering to follow his lead.

"Alice get down," she heard Daryl yell from below, but she didn't mind anyone, her eyes fixed on Eugene. She didn't speak much with him since Negan brought him from Alexandria, she was full of questions but after few failed exchanged of simple pleasantries, like asking about his day she quickly gave up. The man was a valuable source of vast knowledge about things none of them even though existed back in the days when the sole purpose of living was to keep your job and pay bills. She wouldn't be surprised if someone like him or someone he even knew made the virus that brought them the end days. And he didn't make that knowledge easily accessible to anyone.

And the blast, the blast never came. Not that it surprised her but it did surprise everyone around her, the sound of a gun safety being pulled was her sign to turn around and face Rick.

"Surprise," she grinned as Jadis pointed her gun at him.

"Finally this fucking game is over. Will you be a dear Jadis and untie me."

"You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit and got everyone he that gave a shit about killed? It's about you."

Alice froze in the place as the small jolt of electricity circled through her body. It felt like ages have passed since she heard that voice. She slowly turned around, savoring the moment, reunions are always the sweetest parts of any relationship and even if they were separated less than a day, in the world of walking corpses, a day was equivalent of a year and year a lifetime.

"Well, hello there, dear wife. I am pleased to find you here."

"The pleasure is all mine, dear husband," Alice bowed her head, smirking.

"And what are you doing here on this fine day?"

"Oh, Rick was so kind to extend me an invitation I simply could not refuse."

"Well, isn't that nice," Negans face darkened as he turned his gaze from her to Rick, "hope they were nice hosts."

"Oh, they certainly were and how could they not, you know how fine guest I make."

"That I do," Negan chuckled, "Sooo, honey are you done playing with them so we can conclude this visit."

"What the fun is already over?" In her arrogant triumph, she smirked, just a small pouting of the lips; a narrowing of the eyes and a tilting of the head. The left side of Negans lip arched upward, creating a sinister smile, one that would make stone cry and turn the Alice in a lustful puddle.

"Will you fucking untie my hand already," she turned to Jadis, with urgency in her voice. Woman signaled one of her men and that was the last thing Alice remembers before the tight grip of Negans protective embrace made her struggle of air, the world around her melted away as she squeezed him tighter ignoring the protest her body was giving her, it will be enough time for breathing later on. A moment like that one, that was the moment that comes only once in the lifetime, a moment when seconds turn into hours and you feel you could stand like that forever.

"You fucking scared the shit out of me, doll," Negan whispered in her ear. "Did they hurt you?"

"No, " she shook her head, buried in the crocked of his neck.

She heard someone clearing his throat and tapping her shoulder.

"We kinda have work to do, people," Simons knowing smile and his gift in the form of her weapons were reminder enough, she was back with her family.

She wiggled away from Negan embrace, letting out a disappointed sigh as her body was deprived of his warmth.

"My babies," she smiled down at her weapon, before strapping them on their place, feeling complete once more, "hope you were nice to them, mustache man, you know how sensitive they can be."

"I did my best to console them during your absence."

"What, you people still didn't drop your guns?" Negan turned his attention back at Rick.

"No one drops anything."

The determination with which Rick spoke, didn't come as surprise to anyone, especially Alice, the consequences of what he has done are now known, not like before when he tapped in the dark, acting and not knowing, full of confidence as if he made a contract with the Devil himself, selling his soul for protection. Maybe he did, but people like her and Negan were the people from whom even the Devil would shun off, people with nothing to lose and everything to gain.

"You are still pushing me, Rick," Negan smiled, "and I was just about to forget you tried to blow us up minutes ago. You confuse me, Rick, I mean I get you wanting to kill me and my people, but Eugene, he is one of yours and a person who should be a role model to you, I mean after everything he has done, he fucking stepped up, took an initiative. But I guess you people are too much like animals to see that. The universe gives you a sign and you just shove your finger right up its ass. But I… I get it… one can't go against its nature… neither can I…so I come here, bearing a gift of peace, not war. Simon, Dwight, chop-chop…"

"What did you bring them?" Alice spoke from behind him, not sure what is happening.

"Oh, you'll see, doll."

Alices scowl deepen as she glanced towards the truck where Simon and Dwight revealed a silver coffin, she pursed her lips looking at Negan, whose smile told her nothing, this was the first time she was out of the loop when it came to the plans they have and she didn't like it one bit.

She felt a hand sliding down her arm and intertwining the long fingers with hers.

"Shall we, my queen," Negan smiled as he led her towards the truck, climbing on the trailer, slowly knocking on the coffin side. Alice expected something or someone to walk out, like in the movies and release havoc onto the world. But nothing happened, as Negans deep chuckled filled the silence.

"So, you don't like Eugene anymore. You guys gotta like Sasha. I do, too. Got her right here packaged for your convenience, alive and well. Now, I brought her so I wouldn't have to kill all of you, and not killing all of you could get complicated. You see I know about all the firepower you scraped up, yup, so yeah, I will fucking need you to hand it over. Also, I want every fucking grade of lemonade you have, we are running low on it back home. I want one person…of your choosing…because I am so fucking nice despite everything, for Lucile. Daryl… oh, I got to have me my Daryl back, my doll is heartbroken since he left us and..and.. baby any suggestions.

"A pull table, I want that pull table"

"Alight doll. And a pool table, and all the pool cues and chalk. And I want it now! Or Sasha dies, and then all of you. Probably. "

Alice could swear she was able to hear a clapping of the flies wings as silence fell over them. Rick's red eyes didn't leave the shining surface of the coffin where his friend was being held. Alice's respect for Sasha grew with each passing minute, to be ready to be stuffed into the coffin so her friends could live was something Alice could relate to, that kind of loyalty was to be praised and people who carry it around with them worshiped like gods.

In that moment, all the jealousy she felt towards the woman, disappeared, to be replaced with complete and utter admiration.

She shifted closer to Negan, trying to catch waves of warmth his body is emitting, something to make her feel warmer, as the air around them became cold. The moment of revelation is upon them, will they leave this place without firing a bullet or will the pulls of blood fill the streets of Alexandria.

Daryl couldn't avert his eyes away from her, standing tall and confident beside the man he despised most in the world and her the woman he cared about, his friend, he just couldn't understand how two people who awoke two completely opposite types of feelings in him could fit together so perfectly. He hated to admit it to himself but during the time she spent in Alexandria away from Negan she didn't seem like a whole person, he thought it was because she was held captive, cages never suited wild animals, but it was not that, it was something else and now watching her at Negans side he knew what it was and deep inside himself made peace with the idea that when Negan perishes so will she. Even if by some miracle she survives, it will not be Alice inhabiting that body, but something else, something that made him shiver with dread.

"C'mon Rick…Just because I brought her in a casket doesn't mean she has to leave in it." Negan tried to end the anticipation, it was killing him and Alice shifting beside him made him realize he was not the only one.

Again nothing, a muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of his right eye, his mouth formed a rigid grimace. His glass was full hours ago, now every drop of anger is making his rage pour over its rim and down on the floor. He wasn't sure how long will he be able to hold it inside of himself. The soothing warmth appeared on his back as he felt Alice's hand resting between his shoulder blades. He turned around and she nodded. The time for diplomacy was over.

"You know what, Rick, you suck ass!" The corners of his lips tugged downward as he looked up at the man with a gun pointed at his head.

"I don't want to have to kill her, but that's exactly what you're gonna make me do it."

The layers of truth spoken in that sentence made Alice cringe, no one could hear them but she could, that truth was not something new but it never fails to fill her with sadness.

"Let me see her." Rick finally spoke, and she could let out the breath she was holding.

"All right, just give me a second. I might have to get her up to speed. You can't hear shit inside this thing. Sash. You're not gonna believe this crap."

The smile on Alice's face froze when instead of living person the dead one emerged from the coffin, pushing Negan from the trailer and falling with him on the ground.

Everything played out in a matter of seconds, the bullets started to be fired, the people started to die, Sasha trying to get to her after she pushed her away from Negan, one of their man whose name she didn't even know died trying to save her.

Her not being able to avert her eyes from the man on the ground as Sasha feasted on him, that was when she felt someone pushing her up , leather clawed arm wrapping around her back and pulling her toward the truck, keeping her had down as bullets flew around them, Simon pushing them behind the truck, glancing over the hood.

"Keep your fucking head down, mustache man, you will lose it."

Alice pushed him to the ground.

"Now what." Simons' eyes darted in between Negan and Alice.

"Now we fucking kill them," Alice growled, pulling her gun out.

"You won't hear any fucking arguments from me doll." Negan smiled.

Battle was short, just like Alice expected it to be, she didn't even have time to fire the second bullet and everything was over, people from Alexandria captured.

"Simon, find Grimes junior and bring him here,"

"Are you alright?" Alice placed her hand on Negan's face, once they were away from their people, waiting for Carl and Rick to be brought.

"I'm fine, doll." Negan buried the tips of his fingers in the corner of his eyes, "didn't sleep last night, that's all."

"Oh, sorry about that," Alice shrugged her head down under the weight of guilt that hit her like a sledgehammer, it was her fault she got caught last night, if only she didn't hang on the stupid idea she will find Daryl aimlessly wandering around the woods she would've been with Negan last night and he would've gotten the rest her needed for the upcoming battle. She never prayed but tonight before she goes to bed she will thank every divine up there for keeping him safe during this whole ordeal.

"It Is not your fault, doll," he took her chin, lifting her head up, giving her a brief but tender kiss. "That whole mess, it is not your fault."

"But…"

Alice wanted to protest, but Negan shushed her, "this is not up for discussion Alice," he smiled.

"Now let's go, looks like Grimes's are in their spots."

"Are you sure about this," Alice hooked her hand around his upper arm, her eyes darting across his features, what he was planning to do didn't sit well with her and she knew it didn't sit well with him. He may not be the same man after today.

"It needs to be done, doll."

"But you don't have to be the one to do it, let me… I'll…I'll do it."

"Do you really want to fucking do it?"

"Not more than you do. But…."

"You think it will be easier on me?"

Alice stiffened, keeping quiet for a few second before nodding confidently.

"It won't doll, it would still be done under my order and letting someone else do it will, if nothing, would make things worse. And before you say anything, no there is no other way. They closed all fucking roads except this one."

He turned around, leaving her before she could say another word. Alice followed him with her eyes for a moment, before looking up at the sky, perfectly blue, with few white clouds and sun shining brightly in the middle like it was mocking them. Aren't the days like this suppose accompanied with rain and thunder?

"Alice doll, will you join me?" Negan called.

"Coming, boss," she jogged towards him.

OOO

Rick and Carl were kneeling in the middle of the field, surrounded with Saviours and people from Junkyard group, group none of them liked, but Alice had to give it to them, they knew how to get a job done.

"Well, shit, Rick. You just couldn't stick with us? You had to go with these filthy garbage people?" And there it was, the careless mask on his face, the playful tone of his voice, every sign that the show must go on.

"He meant no offense." Alice smiled, glancing at Jadis.

"Deal is for 12, yes? " The way people ignored her that entire day made her cringe. And just like that, again, it felt like Negan read her mind, turning to her, waiting for her to answer.

"10." Alice stiffened herself militarily. "People are a resource. And they kinda don't want to leave."  
'12," Jadis came up to her face so close Alice could feel her breath, but she didn't buckle down, placing her hand on her machete, meeting her stare, not speaking, words were redundant in situations like this.

"10." The woman finally backed down.

Alice couldn't help but smile in triumph as she glanced at Negan, who didn't even try to hide his pride. He winked and smiled deviously as he passed by her, as a promise of what will come later when they are alone, and came to stand at Carl's side.

"Rick. This is just gonna make you sad. Broken. You're gonna wish you were dead. I like having fun. I do. But maybe you think that the guy that did what he did to your friends wasn't me like that was some sort of a put-on like I'm not the guy with the bat, I'm just the guy that makes your kid spaghetti."

"Oh. Oh, shit. Maybe this is on me. Maybe this is all on me. I gotta make it right. I guess I gotta start all over again. I gotta tell you, Rick, if I had a kid, I'd want him to be just like your kid, which makes this so much harder."

"You're not gonna win."

"Carl. It is over. Why don't you point your one ball up the street there and take it all in?"

The loud scream priced the air making everyone turn around, trying to pinpoint from where did it come from.

"Michonne," one of Alexandrians who was close enough whispered, looking sympathetically at Rick.

"Ohh. Oh. Wow. You just lost somebody important to you right now, like, just now. Jesus. That is timing. But what can you do, karma is a thought bitch I should know, and this is what you get for taking my wife, now you lost your own, as my doll likes to say, how poetic. I feel your pain, Rick, I really do, but this is not over, not yet. See, you chose this. I truly don't know what more I could've done to warn you. And you didn't just fail to head my warning you had to go along and make things even worse, to make this personal and now I am raising the stakes. You see Rick this isn't a warning. This is punishment. I'm gonna kill Carl now. I'm gonna make it one nice, hard swing, try to do it in one because I like him. I just want you to put that in your brain and roll it around for a minute. I'm gonna kill Carl, and then Lucille here, she's gonna take your hands. "

And there it was, Alice knew once he voiced his threats there is no coming back. She knew possibility like this existed, but it was a worst-case scenario, something both of them hoped won't happened. Negan liked Carl, more than anyone for Alexandria, a side effect of his profession form back before. Negan had a blood of many on his hands, just like she, but some kills can change a man, she knew it, the girl in the woods was kill that changed her, now the time came for a kill that will change him.

"You can do it right in front of me. You can take my hands. I told you already, I'm gonna kill you. All of you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... but nothing is gonna change that nothing. You're all already dead."

 _"You're all already dead… You're all already dead… You're all already dead"_  words echoed through Alice'ss mind, the dream, the blood, the white room, the jaws….The numbing pain pierced through her head, pounding on her brain, her vision blurring, something was off. Something is coming. She shook herself, looking around the Alexandria, everything was quiet, people lying dead on the ground or kneeling while Savioused binned their wrists… buzzing in her ears didn't stop.

"Something is off," she looked at Simon. But he didn't mind her, looking down at Carl.

"Something is off," she repeated, turning around herself.

"Damn…. Wow, Rick…. Okay. You said I could do it." In a moment Negan swung his bat, behind the corner the tiger appeared. Alice jumped over Carl, shoving Negan. The cat jumped on one of the Saviours.

"What the…" Alice couldn't believe her eyes. Someone must be playing a joke on them.

"Alexandria will not fall… Not on this day," Ezekiel and his people came around the corner.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Alice pulled Negan from the ground, killing everyone on their way. "Where is Simon."

"Psycho, Boss, this way," Simon signaled them from behind the truck.

"A GOD DAMNED TIGER, where did they get a tiger!" Alice yell, fumbling to recharger her gun.

"That widow is alive, guns a-blazing'!"

"What the…"

"This is what shit tastes like… let's move," Negan pulled her and Simon forward, running to the truck, slamming the door behind him.

"Move, move, move!"

It was a spit second Alice expected truck to fail them, but it didn't happen, bullets jingled as the truck moved through the gates.

Alice turned around to see Negan opening the window to his side.

"The fuck are you doing!"

"Sending them a message," and with that, he extended his arm out and flipped everyone.

"You are fucking mad."

"We are all mad here, I told you doll," he smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her tightly.

"What now," Simon didn't turn to look at them, concentrated on the road ahead.

"Now my dear friend, we release havoc onto their world. You know what to do."

"Yes, boss."

"But first we go home, I need a shower," Alice added, taking the rim of her shirt, smelling it with disgust.

OOO

"

What do you got there?" Alice smiled getting out of the bathroom, flexing her neck with a sigh of relief, the pain in her muscles and her headache were gone, despite the course of battle, she felt unusually relaxed, back in the room she knows and calls home.

"Come sit here," Negan tapped the place on the bed just across him, "I want us to do something."

"Alright, is this some new kind of foreplay, because if you wouldn't mind I would just skip it and get to the main part."

"No," Negan chucked, shaking his head, "No, nothing like that. Not yet."

"Fuck, man, you can't invite the girl to bed and just live her dry."

"All in due time, doll, now come here."

Alice sat cross-legged across from him as he tumbled around with the black pouch in his hands. She could see in his stranded feature he is fighting for words. Alices heart started pounding loudly against her rig cage, something was on his mind, something heavy and she was not sure will she like what is to come next.

Negan let out a heavy sigh, locking his eyes with hers.

"Ok..fuck…I just wanted to ask you will you be my wife?"

Alice furrowed her eyebrows, cocking her head to the side, "I think you already asked me that and I said yes."

"No, I fucking mean, like for real not like you know…like ok, you sleep with me you are my wife shit."

"Well, it didn't feel unreal to me."

"You know what I fucking mean."

"I really don't…"

"Fuck it, Alice, you are really going to make me explain it."

"Well, I would like to know what the fuck is happening, so yeah. You will have to explain it to me."

"This… does this explain anything to you," he reached inside the punch and pulled out two rings, one was a simple black marriage band, with no special engravings, the other was a rich black ring with Amethyst stone on top.

"A rings?"

"Well good to fucking know your sight isn't failing you."

"I just…"

Alice stood up from the bed, starting to pace from one side of the room to another.

"I don't get it… why this? Why now? We are just fine like this… no need to get priests and shit involved. It's not ever the right time for this… we are in the middle of a fucking war on top of the cake we call fucking apocalypse."

Negan watched her as she mumbled around, her hand flying in every direction possible her words because incoherent after a minute and she just continued to mumble, more to herself than to him.

"What's really the problem, Alice?"

With that question she froze into place, her mouth partly opened as she stopped talking in the middle of a sentence.

"Nothing you said to me makes sense, what is your real problem, Alice? You don't want to be with me or?"

"What, nooo!" She jumped on the bed, taking his hands in hers, squeezing them tightly.

"No…how could you think something like that."

"Than what the fuck is the problem."

She ran her hand through her hair, turning her head toward the opened door of the bathroom.

"I cant give you all you want to have in life."

"What?"

"Back when we were in Alexandria, you told me you want us to get a house and kids and all that shit… and after this war, when things settle down and you decided to have a life like that. I won't be able to give it to you."

"I'm not following."

"I can't have children, Negan. I never could, I was born like that and I destroyed every chance of fixing it with my long, long drug abuse."

"And that's it?"

Alice snapped her head, looking at him. He had a wide smile on his face as he took her hands in his.

"Well yeah, and I am petrified of priests as you already know."

"Well, I thought we could do it now, here."

"For someone who was already married once you really don't know how to procedure goes."

"Fuck procedures, I love you, Alice, you are the only one of my kind, the only one who speaks my language. I spent years in the dark, wilting like a plant deprived of the sun and you just walked into my life opened windows and made me feel alive again, thought me how to breathe. How you make things like loving you so fucking easy is beyond me, but you do and I love you. And fuck that shit, till death do us part, I won't let even death to part us, nothing and no one will stand in between us. Now and Forever."

He took her shaking hand and slipped the ring on her finger, not letting his eyes once drift away from her face and her glassy eyes.

"Fuck it is beautiful," She finally spoke, letting out a smile chuckle. "Now it is my turn?"

"Only if you want it to be."

"I don't have a speech prepared, you know, you kind of jumped on me with this one."

He laughed, cradling her face in his hands, kissing her softly.

"You don't need to say a thing Alice, your actions spoke for you a long time ago."

"No, fuck it, man. I want to do it right. I know I am not the most romantic person but I can at least fucking say something."

"As you wish," Negan lean on the bedpost, locking his hand behind his head waiting for her to speak.

"Hey, hey, hey, give me that fucking hand, I need to put a finger on it."

"I thought you needed time to figure something out."

"Give me that hand and shut up!"

She inhaled deeply, taking the other ring in her hand and looking at it.

"I'm not fucking perfect, I know that.."

"Alice, doll, I don't think this is the w…"

"I said shut up, let me finish."

"I am not perfect, but I love you and I will walk to hell and back to protect you, I would defend you with my life, I would stand in front line as the world marches towards you and I would stop them all. I always told you it is because it's my duty because of some fucking promise I gave you the first time we meet. But I lied… it is not because of that. The reason I would go through all that is not noble but completely selfish, I can't live without you, to kill me and you, it would only take one bullet and I am so selfish I could never let you be the one to take it, not again, I would die if I had to go back to the world without you. Whatever happens in the future I want you to know, I am yours, now and forever and I will always find a way back to you."

She slid the ring on his finger, looking at it. It was strange, the feeling she got, the fear that crept inside of her, the act alone was like sealing some contact before the disaster, a final act before the show is done. But she pushed it aside, it was not a time for feelings like that, it was a time for joy and she decided to savor it as long as possible, worrying about the future was futile.

"Now and forever," she repeated, entwining her fingers with his.

"Now and forever," he nodded, smiling.

"Can we fuck now?"

"Hahaha, yes we can."

"Thank God!" She jumped on him, crushing him on the mattress with her weight.

OOO

"Everyone's on blue level., boss, just say the word and we are ready to go."

Alice stood with Negan next day, looking at the gathered crown outside the factory.

"What about the rest of them?"

"Did you send for Regina."

"Yes, she is coming, with her people."

"Good, good," Negan scanned the crowd gathered there, with a confident smile.

**"WE ARE GOING TO WAR!"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this chapter, The only thing worth fighting for is done.  
> Soon the new story as a part of Cold hearts series will be up, so if you don't want to miss it, follow it up and thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading this.  
> I love you all and read you soon.  
> :) xxx <3


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